If "The Big Bang Theory" has created a high IQ and low EQ for us, then "Little Shelton" is undoubtedly rehabilitating Xie's ears. At least, in the parent-child relationship, Xiao Xie Er behaved better than his brother and sister.
Behind every prodigy stands a powerful mother. Even though people all over the world, including her husband and children, think that Xie Er is a "freak", Xie Er's mother still insists that the baby is only "special".
Xie Er's IQ and thinking are absolutely rational, which makes him incompatible with the people around him. However, his relationship with his mother is quite harmonious. Praying before the meal, Xie Er, who is severely hygienic, must wear thick gloves to shake hands with his family. The father couldn’t help but was stopped by his mother. The mother wanted the child to accompany him to church, but his brothers and sisters refused with fancy reasons. Xie Eryi offered to go with her mother; Xie Eryi criticized the teachers because of her lack of words, but was persuaded by the principal to leave. Her mother insisted that Xie Er was right and refused to change schools.
Compared with the frequent quarrel between mother and elder brother and sister, Xie Er and her mother are filled with strong affection. Even if the thinking is different, my mother feels that Xie Er does not understand the world and needs extra care. Xie Er feels that her mother is a "nice lady" and is worthy of trust and reliance.
Daniel Stem, a psychologist at Cornell University School of Medicine, did a study of twins and their mothers. He believes that the most critical moment of parent-child interaction is to let children know that their emotions will be treated with empathy and will be accepted and responded to. He called this process "coordination". (Note 1) Mother and Xie Er are in harmony, but their emotions are out of sync with Xie Er's sister and brother. The brother expressed to his mother that he did not want to be in the same class as Xie Er, but was ignored by the mother. The daughter asked her mother why Xie Er was so smart but her math was so poor. The mother praised her daughter's hair perfunctorily.
It can be said that the countless repetitive moments of agreement or disharmony between parents and children have shaped the children's emotional expectations for intimate interpersonal relationships in the future. So Xie Er met Leonard when he grew up, haha. In fact, if you observe carefully, Leonard sends Xie Er to get off work and endures Xie Er's harsh roommate conditions. Why is it not like Xie Er's mother?
During childhood, Xie Er’s biggest problem was "how to find a friend." However, at that time, Xie Er didn't need a friend, he just didn't want to worry his mother. At this time, Xie Er’s empathy showed good empathy. From the perspective of emotional intelligence, Xiao Xie’s EQ is not low. He is just “special” and has a different thinking.
Note 1: Reference to Daniel Gorman's book Emotional Intelligence.
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