He was excluded, had no friends, and was always alone, standing alone on the verge of misunderstanding with a soda, until he met a pair of siblings: Patrick and Shan.
After getting drunk once, Charlie reveals to Shan that his best friend committed suicide.
Sensitive Shan immediately noticed: "I think he has no other friends."
Patrick raised up and pulled the lonely boy closer to his circle of friends. Charlie was a little surprised: "I thought no one noticed me." But Patrick said: "We still think there are no cool people worthy of our friendship."
The teenager who is always used to standing in the corner learned for the first time that you need not only to watch, but also to participate in order to experience the truth. hapiness.
However, the plot did not develop towards the situation of autistic teenagers getting out of the predicament with the help of friends and ushering in a positive and healthy new life.
This teenager is still in the midst of various problems. He quietly watched Patrick fall out with her boyfriend and was heartbroken. He passively accepted the initiative of the girl Mary but was always looking forward to breaking up. Obviously like Shan, but never willing to take the initiative...
Shan told him: "You can't just sit there, put everyone's life more important than your own, and then call this love." What is love? Love is possession and companionship, rather than silently watching.
Charlie seems to have a bunch of friends. He is considerate, considerate, understands everyone’s preferences, and can give them the most intimate gift, but in fact, he still hasn’t learned to love, and he hasn’t learned to really accept this. Group of friends.
Shan and Patrick, who were admitted to college, left the city and lost Charlie with them. They began to have the hallucinations of their aunts in car accidents repeatedly. We also began to understand that Charlie’s autism was not only due to the loss of his youth. In addition to important relatives and friends, but since he was a child, he has been subjected to indecency from his aunt who has not been in a smooth relationship. He hated his aunt, but he always blamed himself for the death of his aunt. This complicated emotion overwhelmed him.
On the phone call to his sister when he was sick, Charlie almost broke down and said: Auntie is the one who killed me, right? She was buying me a birthday present. What if I have been waiting for her to die?
This abnormally seemingly young boy has been under tremendous psychological pressure silently. He has nowhere to vent, he becomes depressed and becomes sick, step by step toward the edge of self-destruction.
Perhaps every silent child has a turbulent past in his heart.
Many people, like Charlie, appear to others to be introverted and tend to be autistic.
Fear of the crowd, unwilling to take the initiative to contact others.
I can’t wait to stick to the root of the wall when I walk, and I don’t want to see other people around me.
If someone suddenly gets in touch with yourself, the first response is to refuse.
In the crowd, I would always be at a loss, smile in vain, but don't know what to say.
I really want to join the crowd, I really want to have a bunch of friends who can talk and laugh, I really want to join when others are chatting, but I am still defeated by the deep sense of loneliness.
Unwilling to communicate with people, unwilling to talk to people, or even unwilling to contact people.
Those unwilling to confess secrets and unspeakable hurts are like a wall that completely isolates you from the crowd. You cannot get along with people calmly because you are afraid that if you get too close to people, those concealments The darkness and pain of perfection will be sprayed out, and you will fall into the abyss again.
Perhaps, only those who have experienced this desperate sense of wanting to disappear from the crowd can see the helpless self from Charlie.
When I was in the first year of high school, I was squeezed out by my classmates. When I stood up to answer the question, they took off my stool, watched me sit on the floor and then burst into laughter. They were left out by the roommates in the dormitory. They went to the bathroom when I was sitting on the floor. When I took a shower, I plugged in the door and blamed me for interrupting my lunch break despite calling for a long time in my thin autumn clothes.
In the second and third year of high school, I have been experiencing repeated quarrels and divorce from my parents. My dad would call me long in the middle of the night and constantly scold my mom. Every time I went to see my mom for living expenses, he had to start all the time. After listening to her hysterical curses and accusations to my dad.
In the long tug-of-war of divorce, I was the most loyal listener of both parties, but I was in no way capable of reconciling them.
Maybe these things are not a big deal in the eyes of others, but for me as a teenager, they are undoubtedly a devastating blow.
I don't know what happened, why I was hated by others, or why suddenly it seemed that Mom and Dad didn't care about me anymore.
They seem to forget that I am preparing for the college entrance examination. They no longer care about my academic performance. After my mother refused to answer my dad's calls countless times, I became the intermediary for them to vent their anger to each other. They unscrupulously told me about each other's anger. Dissatisfaction and resentment.
But they also seem to forget that for me, they are all my relatives. How should I respond to these angry and vicious words? How should they choose their own position in their struggle?
I cried many, many times because I felt I couldn't do anything. And they all seem to have gradually left me. I believe in my heart that I have been abandoned by them.
And for such an incompetent me who has lost my parents, what reason is there to be loved by others? Even the closest family member can leave me. What reason can I keep other people by my side?
No, I don't want it, I don't want to contact people, I don't want to accept the loss again and again.
Many times, I sit alone in a corner of the playground in a daze. After many self-study evenings, sitting in an abandoned teaching building, one person was silent. I started to grow white hair, insomnia, unable to fall asleep all night and all night, my grades began to drop continuously, I didn't want to go to class, didn't want to talk to people, didn't want to stay in that full of people in the classroom.
After Charlie committed suicide and woke up from the hospital, he finally spoke to the doctor about the dark recollection of being molested by his aunt. He was no longer afraid, and he no longer tried to carry such heavy past events alone.
Charlie, who saw Patrick and Shan again, finally ushered in a new life. He stood behind the car, facing the wind, and opened his arms.
Charlie was lucky. He met Patrick and Shan, and they led him into another world in a sense. They told Charlie: "we accept the love we think we deserve." We accept love because of us. Worthy of being loved.
It is too difficult and too difficult for a person who believes that he is not worthy of being loved, and rebuilding his confidence in others and himself.
Yes, it's hard to get out.
My youth, in retrospect, is not a particularly beautiful memory. I walked awkwardly in that dark and long period of time, trying to find my own exit, collapsed, hesitated, stumbling, struggling to get from those mixed ups. I crawled out of the days of despair and pain again and again, crying too many times, and heartbroken too many times, but fortunately, even though I had suffered enough in my youth and experienced so many embarrassing days, Also finally retired.
Sometimes I think, how did I get out?
I am very grateful to the friends who stayed with me at that time. Although they may not know my inner powerlessness, some people walk next to me and at least feel like a normal person.
Thank them for their tolerance and patience, let the stabbed me, a little bit of defensiveness, began to try to let myself grow in the direction of softness and tolerance in time.
I am also very grateful for all these years. I have never given up on myself. I have been trying to redeem myself in various ways. When I was swallowed by the despair in my heart again and again, I immersed myself in reading and writing to build another stable and peaceful world. .
And after many years, at the end of seeing this movie, I saw the phrase "We Are Infinite" appeared on the screen. I finally couldn't help crying to the point of choking.
All, all, will eventually become stories.
At this moment you understand that you are not a sad story.
At this moment, I swear, we are eternal.
Even in adolescence, there are so many unpleasant memories, and there are so many heartaches that may be ordinary in the eyes of others, but are unbearable for myself. There are many times because I don’t know how to work hard to make myself better. , But, all the growth in youth may have hardships and sorrows, big or small, and we can't choose to retreat at this time.
We have never been able to choose where we come from, whether it’s light or dark, full of laughter or sad tears, whether it’s warm and moved or cold and desperate. The only thing we can decide is to choose where we go, whether to stay here, or Struggling hard, stepping out of those unfavorable past, to a brighter place.
Yes, we are all eternal. The sad story will eventually pass. And we still have a lot of future worth looking forward to.
As long as you live, everything will make you better.
Remember, we are eternal.
View more about The Perks of Being a Wallflower reviews
