As the saying goes, raising children to guard against old age, this sentence does not seem to apply to China today. Most families have only one only child, and the number of "four two one" structured families is increasing day by day. Once you are at a young age, you will not only be busy with your career for your own livelihood, but you will also need to raise your wailing children to grow up. Coupled with taking care of aging parents? Only a few people can take care of this. Middle-aged people desperate to find a destination for the elderly, it seems that the only option left at this time: nursing home.
"The Savage Family" tells the story of such a typical family. Wendy is a middle-aged woman, an ordinary playwright. She is not married yet, and her boyfriend is married. Wendy's brother Jon is a university professor and has an Eastern European girlfriend who has been dating for three years, and he doesn't want to get married. One day, when he learned that his father Rennie had Alzheimer's and was kicked out of his residence, the two brothers and sisters reunited together and settled their father in a nursing home after discussion. In the process of taking turns to take care of his father, the two brothers and sisters quarreled constantly. When the death of their father approached, the two rethinked the meaning of life and family in their confusion...
Rather than saying that this is a fictional movie, I would rather regard it as a documentary of our lives. The father was suddenly seriously ill, and the busy children hurriedly took him to the nursing home nearby. Not only have to take the responsibility of taking care of his father, but also face problems in his career and love. The middle-aged crisis faced by the brothers and sisters is like the epitome of the pain and helplessness of thousands of middle-aged people. When people reach middle age, their physical condition is declining and their emotions become more unstable. However, problems of work, love, and family will follow one after another. You seem to see your life in the movie.
When Wendy and Jon sent their father to the nursing home, after saying goodbye for the first time, Wendy turned around and cried. "We are so bad," Wendy choked. We can't help feeling distressed and moved for her tears full of apologetics, because we can understand the reasons. Many people are unwilling to send their parents to nursing homes, believing that sending their parents out of their homes violates filial piety.
However, with the development of society and practical problems, more and more middle-aged people cannot visit their parents to fulfill their filial piety. For the elderly, it is more difficult to live alone in an empty nest. Nursing homes have gradually become a new trend for the elderly to settle in their old age.
As a matter of fact, not only nursing homes, but also from the different pension models in various countries, we can see the efforts made by countries in the face of aging populations... In Germany, a "home for the elderly" has emerged in the community of mutual assistance for the elderly. Some old people who are afraid of being alone but do not want to go to nursing homes spontaneously form their own small world, share housework with each other, and participate in social activities. In Sweden, the government implements a home-based care model, and the department in charge of social welfare for the elderly will provide round-the-clock services according to the needs of the elderly. In Japan, the government promotes elderly people to participate in various community activities, such as tea ceremony and flower arrangement. In the United States, people have pioneered the concept of "retirement with housing", which means buying a house 10 years before retirement, renting out the extra room to others after old age, and collecting rent to maintain a living.
It can be seen that there are also different models of old-age care. They pay more attention to guaranteeing economic sources and enriching social life. Where to settle the elderly is only a superficial issue, the important thing is to find a spiritual sustenance for the elderly. But no matter what, obeying the wishes of the parents is the first thing.
When Wendy wanted to change to a more glamorous nursing home for his father, the brothers and sisters had a dispute. Jon unceremoniously accused Wendy of "In order to make up for his guilt, not his father's needs, his father had a very good life in the original nursing home." But it may not meet their age and standards, and the feeling of the elderly is ranked first.
This is an alternative family movie. The portrayal of the family is almost entirely revolving around the quarrel between brothers and sisters and the unreasonable trouble with the father who was seriously ill, as well as the brutal beating of them when he was a child. The film seldom describes the care and warmth that the family should have, but it resonates more naturally. The film spares no effort to show the embarrassment between the family and the helplessness of life with straightforward and clean images, frank and natural dialogue and appropriate background music. Their story is so real, it is embarrassing and moving silently.
Some sporadic images will also strike you in a moment: when you are intimacy with your boyfriend, you look at your lonely sister with a pet dog next to you, your brother who is crying alone in the middle of the night but pretends to be all right, silently turns off your hearing aids when your brother and sister are arguing. The father looking out the window, the sister who was crying out of control when he met the soulmate, the beautiful lighting that was lit on the bedside all night... There is no excessive contrived and ups and downs, the film only gently tells the plain and true story .
The so-called eight sufferings in life: birth, old age, sickness and death, separation of love, resentment and hatred, troubles raging, and cannot be desired. The film tells us sadly about the confusion of middle-aged people, about relatives, about work, and about love. However, the film does not tell us the answer, just as there is no perfect approach and ending in life.
Everyone has to go through the aging process of their parents. When their parents have more words that you don’t understand, their steps will gradually lack a sense of direction. Their bodies will become weak, and they will become affected by things that can affect their lives if they are not paying attention. Illness... But no matter how troublesome and embarrassing they are, blood is still thicker than water. Even if the father becomes crazy and cumbersome, even if the feelings are indifferent and estranged for many years, the tightly bound family threads still connect the brothers and sisters to their father's care and nostalgia. The film portrays the feelings and gaps between the two generations in a complicated and subtle way, yet extremely real.
This seemingly heavy movie silently shows the warmth of human nature in the details. The mother’s leaving home and the father’s violent education at a young age led to siblings’ personality defects. The younger sister could not enter the normal married life, and wrote her childhood experience into a script; the older brother also had difficulty making a lifetime commitment for love. But when they learned that their father was sick, they followed their instincts to visit. Throwing the unfortunate childhood memories behind, just purely do his best to take care of his father and accompany him through the last journey of his life.
Wendy often recalled her father's brutal beating of herself and her brother, but when she found that her father had pictures of their children in her luggage, she was ecstatic. The warmth of home simply offset all painful memories, and she was willing to take care of her father. This is true and complicated human nature and life. Many families are not happy and perfect. The sense of security, trust, and intimacy that have been lost in the family since childhood can only be recovered after a lot of hard work. Perhaps only when we experience life and death, can we understand the fragility of life and the helplessness of life, and understand how to cherish the present.
On a morning like usual, the brothers and sisters looked at the old father who was lying still. "That's it?" "Yeah." Then there was tolerable crying, and this calm scene tightened the audience's hearts even more. The departure of the father seemed to have allowed the two to forgive the past and start a new life. In this painful struggle, love and hatred experience, the two brothers and sisters used love and forgiveness to complete the reconciliation of the past.
Six months later, the younger sister's drama was a big success, and the older brother was determined to get his girlfriend back. They understand that with the help of external forces, there is no way to improve their lives and redeem themselves, only when they figure it out, they really figure it out. Finally at the end, the story was gently lit. The puppy that runs hard in the sun seems to be saying: Even if it is lame, put on wheels and run hard to the sun.
When problems and contradictions smooth out the thorns on people, you will find that life is like this, full of pain and entanglement, and accepting it, facing it, forgiving it, and embracing it are not as difficult as imagined. The two idealists finally compromised with the real world. This is not a helpless surrender, nor is it to prove to whom they are shown, but to simply make their lives easier.
With just a little change, a muddle-headed life can also add color. Give up unbearable relationships, keep exercising, appreciate yourself... No longer ask others or life to cater to yourself, but be optimistic and strive to become a better version of yourself.
Some movies act like life, let us read the turmoil of mundane affairs and the shortness of life. They may be dull and cumbersome, but they are moving and unforgettable. No one is an island. There are always some similar experiences, either loneliness or pain, which will appear in our long and urgent lives at any time. The things that are destined to happen leave a mark in our hearts, light and concealed, but lingering. When the flat pictures in the movie touch these marks, it will cause profound ripples in our hearts.
These movies will not tell you what is right and what should be done from the commanding heights of morality. But when you see your shadow in the movie, you naturally know what life is like.
In my opinion, "The Savage Family" is just such a movie.
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