12 Monkey's Pete is here

[Glen is briefing government officials on the mission in a conference room in Berlin, talking about counterinsurgency]

Gen. Glen McMahon: [to an audience member with her hand up] Yes ma'am.

German Politician: [with heavy German accent] General, the US invaded Afghanistan because of the Al-Qaeda attacks on September 11th. This is correct, yes?

Gen. Glen McMahon: Uh, yeah.

German Politician: You have been speaking to us now for 45 minutes.

[Someone in the back says "Lauter bitte"]

Gen. Glen McMahon: Oh, uh, where is the- uh... Oh thank you.

German Politician: [takes the microphone] Thank you.

[Says something in German to someone off screen, then turns to Glen]

German Politician: You have been speaking to us now for 45 minutes, and yet in all of that time, you have only mentioned Al-Qaeda once.

[Scott Cullen scoffs and takes out his pen]

German Politician: Your own vice president has advocated a much smaller and simpler counter-terrorism approach to incapacitate what is estimated to be little more than 100 Al-Qaeda fighters that still remain in Afghanistan to refocus on what it was that started this was in the first place.

Gen. Glen McMahon: Ah!

German Politician: [interrupting Glen] Your analysis of the insurgency there suggests to me that there is no monolithic Taliban. You are spread over the entire country. You are fighting 1,000 separate battles with locals whose principal ideological position would seem to be simply that they don't want foreign soldiers in their village, and that, General, you must know, is a war you will *never* win.

Gen. Glen McMahon: We hope to launch Operation Moshtarak *tonight*. I need your official consent before doing so.

President Karzai: [surprised] Really?

Gen. Glen McMahon: Yes, sir.

President Karzai: Why?

Gen. Glen McMahon: Because it's your mission.

President Karzai: It is?

Gen. Glen McMahon: Yes, sir!

President Karzai: Ah. No one has ever asked me to approve a mission before.

Gen. Glen McMahon: Well that needs to change! This mission *needs* your consent. If we're to win the trust of Helmand Province, it demands that this mission be seen to be of your design. I-

[the President sneezes loudly and one of his nose tampons fly off]

Gen. Glen McMahon: I don't mean to be rude, Mr. President, uhm, but it is *imperative* that you begin to take a leadership role here. We cannot win this thing alone.

[the President shakes his head adamantly, captured by Glen's pep talk]

Gen. Glen McMahon: Without your active involvement, our presence here will never be anything more than a foreign occupation! This is *your war*.

[the President nods]

Gen. Glen McMahon: For your country!

[the President nods again]

Gen. Glen McMahon: Your people!

[the President nods once more]

Gen. Glen McMahon: Again, I'm sorry sir, but you need to- behave like a leader.

President Karzai: But I am behaving like a leader! I'm unavailable. I am as unavailable to you as is your own president. Hm?

[Glen clears his throat uncomfortably]

President Karzai: You have my approval, General. We both know it was never really mine to give, but... I thank you for inviting me to participate in the *theater* of it all. And good luck. I wish you much success.

[the President turns the TV back on]