"You wish you were crazy." It was
not only in the 80s that it was easy to have a fucked-up life, and every era has a Julie dreaming to be fucked- up.
Whether your mother is a psychologist, a university professor, a lawyer, a police officer, or a mala Tang shop owner, your mother is your mother, the eternally unhappy woman who made you act frustrated in public. She worked terribly, and you think your life was ruined by her, because she tore your poster and threw your black eyeliner. Yelled at her angrily, she cried more fiercely when you cried. A girl without a father and another woman without a husband finally chose to stay together for life.
"Without love, it will become as terrible as my mother," he told himself silently like this. You have to be cool, you have to be beautiful, you have to be chic, you have to be indifferent. You have to decide lose virginity after your 18th birthday. You need a person who loves you more than you love him and has no common language to have sex; you need a person who loves you more than you love him and has many common languages to be adored and worshiped; you need someone you love him People who love you more than he loves you to feel heart-broken. Sometimes lucky, and grow up before being completely fucked-up; sometimes, unfortunately, miscarriage and drug use to die in the streets and alleys. Of course, most people have grown up. Only the children of the rich can choose to live willfully without growing up.
But Julie doesn't know all this, she will meet Dave and move to Paris. Days sway between good and bad until they die.
For Julie and most even every young girl, having sex has nothing to do with pleasure. lonely. As explained by the female high school student in "Eng Jiao", that is the main reason. The loneliness of a girl is very needy. Because they are so beautiful, too pretty to deserve orgasm. They said that I shared myself with you, just for you to sigh in my ear, or call me "beautiful."
People shook their heads at you, saying that you were wasting your life. But you don't even know what life is. Male classmates, male teachers, fathers of friends, bus idiots, and internet dating guys are just men to you. Just like your dad, knows nothing but a man. Exchange sex for love, so desperate and so pathetic, smoking a cigarette looking at Edie Sedgwick's poster and muttering: "I'm gonna do it".
Deceive yourself and lose yourself in the promise, and wake up in the ever-scorching sunshine. Look at yourself at the front of the stained mirror, believing that "I won't grow old."
For a while, you just grow tired. We all know you didn't fuck literally everyone. You didn't have sex with Jamie.'Cause you were too close. Sex is for stupid strange boys. Jamie is someone special. Admitting not falling love with him does not mean he is not special. On the contrary, he is forever. Vulnerability is for strangers. Sincerity is for friends. you know you have to leave, you are making everything weird for refusing to grow up.
left = grow up.
A woman who has never had a slut is more incomplete than a woman who has never had a child. You were special to someone, and he and she were/are special to you. The ritual of cruel teenagehood ends at the moment you know you are being loved. By your mother, your friend, your future husband (maybe not), and mostly importantly, yourself.
Nuclear weapons, environmental pollution, women, race, capitalism, aliens, they will go on and on. But you are not going anywhere. You will not go to Paris, Senegal, or the moon. You are not gonna be pretty forever. You will get fat, ugly, mean and stinky. But you will grow strong, just like your Mother.
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Oh, Did I mention? Your mother must be a middle class. Otherwise, you will end up in a torn shoe of domestic violence, and your husband will beat your nose and mouth with blood from the hard-skinned "Second Sex" just because he held it smoothly.
Thanks to capitalism, making men and women equal in the face of oppression.
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