at the racing track, in the hotel banquet hall, at the press conference release site, at the Milan Film Awards, at Sunset Boulevard, at Fountain Street , At the airport, and after returning from almost every "somewhere", I always enter the Chatemont Hotel 59, a home that is not a home, and a destination with nowhere to go. For actor Johnny, "Being" is not an illusion, not a time and place to awaken memory, but a kind of reality. You can close the door, you can leave, you can hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door, and you can checkout. Finally stay behind forever, but when "being" is not there, does it mean that a negative certainty will deconstruct the existence of the self? Will a purposeless walking resolve the dilemma of the paradox? Even when getting off the black Ferrari, walking alone on a road that no one passes by is not a decisive one, because he is only by his side at any time, there is no escape, no denial, no change.
"Driving is a thrilling form of amnesia. Everything has to be discovered and everything has to be eliminated." For Johnny, Baudrillard’s feelings seem to be a destined circle. There is only one car, only On a person’s track, when the world is left with only cyclical motion, when the world is left with only roaring motors, is it to create a kind of pleasure, or to eliminate a kind of boredom, to discover a kind of existence, or to forget a kind of life? Galloping, turning forward, one lap, two laps, three laps, four laps, and five laps. When the mechanical cycle finally reached the position where it passed several times in front of the camera, it finally stopped, got off the car, and turned off. When the car stops circulating, when the motor stops roaring, and leaves the car, do you say goodbye to "a thrilling form of forgetfulness"? The long shot of 3 minutes and 12 seconds is a repetition, just like a certain "somewhere" state in life, in any case it must return to the beginning of the end.
Outside the cycle of 3 minutes and 12 seconds, there is a stillness of 2 minutes and 05 seconds, another time, another long shot, Johnny sat there, unable to relax, he could only straighten up, not open his eyes and open his mouth, but only leaned against his nostrils. Breathe, when the stylist puts plaster on his face, he can't see, can't speak, and is still there, just like a statue. The long shot of 2 minutes and 05 seconds corresponds to the 40 minutes of head model time, and time is passing. Only the face is changed? When the long shot of 2 minutes and 05 seconds is over, when the 40-minute styling is over, Johnny sees another self in front of the mirror, bald and wrinkled, as if he was a future self, as if he was on the verge of death. Of yourself. After such a long shot, is it an uncontrollable fate for Johnny, or is it just a fictionalized self?
Life may be longer than the cycle of 3 minutes and 12 seconds, more than 2 minutes and 05 seconds of stillness, or even longer than 40 minutes of modeling, but for Johnny, in a life with no background and no tomorrow, the length is nothing more than boring. So it’s like seeing my old self in the mirror in the future. It’s not a long life, just a moment when I close my eyes and open my eyes. The life that has been written is a state of alive "being", but when the "being" becomes an endless suspension state, what else can let people see a clear exit, and what reason is there? People looking for a clear direction?
I always go back to No. 59 Chateaumont Hotel, a room where I only wash my face, brush my teeth and take medicine, a room where I only smoke, drink, and sleep, and I walk on the balcony with the door closed and see the noisy room on the street, a huge advertisement for beautiful women. A room that rushes over, and a room that invites twin sisters to dance pole dancing. Johnny was lying there with a smile. In front of him was a mirror. In front of the mirror were two erect steel pipes. On the steel pipes were two sexy and beautiful women, two light pipes, two women, and after the mirror reflected Two selves, as if everything has a double image that is seen, they correspond, they repeat, they perform the same actions: either showing emotional ass, or making sultry moves, or showing a charming smile, in Johnny In front of him, creating a "thrilling form" like driving, and this form is like the racing car that loops at 3 minutes and 12 seconds, "all needs to be discovered, everything needs to be eliminated"-what is discovered is desire, and what is eliminated is boredom. , What is discovered is the progressive tense, and what is eliminated is the completion process.
Although he closed his eyes, even went to sleep, and even though the pole dancer finally packed up and left, between discovery and elimination, in the midst of desire and boredom, Johnny still looked for excitement in the way of an actor and a man. There will be naked women smoking on the balcony of the room. Looking down the room below, there are women who are half taken off and smiling. Opposite the door is a woman who smokes and seduces. He, she and her, strange women, But they are all around him, and what about those familiar women? Always appearing in her life, in her room. At the scene of a party, he greeted her. As the crowd passed through, they talked about the so-called performance, but the party was not over. He and she had arrived at Chateaumont Hotel 59; he returned with his daughter and opened it. The door is a naked woman waiting for him, "You are not here at the right time." He said, and then went downstairs to have a snack with his daughter. A woman passed by him and greeted him, exuding a unique charm.
Women always do this, entering his room or letting him enter his body, but between opening and closing the door, those women seem to be "somewhere" and become uncertain objects. I don’t know if the woman in black who was drinking at the party came back to the room and was the woman whose socks were taken off by him? I wonder if the woman who opened the door to catch the fire was the woman who did her hair naked in the hallway? I don't know if the woman who was closed because her daughter was by her side is the woman who walked past them downstairs? It seems that they have had names, but the names often become another obstacle. He only makes them the objects of desire when he wants them. When there is a daughter by his side, everything is just Somewhere" the passer-by.
Yes, the 11-year-old daughter Cleo broke into his room and broke into his life. She wrote her name on the plaster of his left hand, painted a love heart, and called him "Dad", and He also started sending her to learn figure skating, started playing video games with her, swimming, eating snacks, and enjoying the sun with her, and even took her to Milan to attend the film awards ceremony. The daughter is cute and beautiful. For Johnny, it is an indispensable love in life, but the daughter has always been an intruder in Room 59 of the Chateaumont Hotel. He was awakened in a dream and saw his daughter and his wife Laila. When the wife left, he took her daughter to change the order of life. At the skating rink, he saw her daughter dancing on the ice. But he didn’t know when his daughter started to learn figure skating. After three years, Johnny’s father was absent, and because of this long absence, he couldn’t even walk into his daughter completely. world.
He is still in his own story, in the reality that he cannot break free from "somewhere". When he came out of the opposite woman’s room, his daughter came to the door for the second time. She asked why you didn’t take a shower in your room. He said that the things in the room were broken. It was another break in. Cleo was deconstructing Johnny's own boredom and desires, and after deconstruction, for him, there was no reason to panic. When going out, he always suspected that there was a car following him, but his daughter said that it was just an ordinary car behind; there was no suspected enemy, but in the end the car broke down and stopped halfway on Sunset Boulevard, so he could only make a phone call. Call a trailer.
Failure, entering life, means a crisis for Johnny, and all of this happening is actually a crisis in itself. Johnny broke his left hand and fell when he walked down the stairs. Finally he was wrapped in a bandage. This was a physical injury. But he told his wife that it was caused by special effects during filming, like a Deception, but in the face of the injury that has become reality, his body, his flesh, can only accept such a fate, but it seems that the pain in his left hand did not affect his life, so he still drove by himself and attended. At the press conference, I still came to Milan to attend the awards ceremony, and I still fooled around with strange or familiar women. The only change that the injured left hand made to him is that his daughter Cleo can write her name on it, draw the love heart, from the first name and a pattern, to the end covered with plaster, every sentence, Every picture is the endless love of his daughter, and this kind of graffiti love, for Johnny, is like a wake-up, more like a punishment, like driving to forget, "Everything is to be discovered, Everything needs to be eliminated".
For Johnny, what should be discovered, and what should be eliminated? Find your own decadence and eliminate the estrangement with your daughter? Or is it to discover the wonderful world and eliminate the anxiety of oneself? At the press conference, someone asked who was "Cleo" in the plaster on his hand. He said it was his daughter. When asked "Who
is Johnny Marco ", he couldn't answer readily. Should he forget himself? Still really don't know your name? In that hesitation, it seemed that he had heard another person's name, as if he had seen another life-he had not forgotten the pain and anxiety, but had forgotten his own name. It seems not in his own life, not in his own story, or even in his own room. In the reality of self-alienation, the curse text messages that are constantly sent by people are also like looking at another person ugly. Life. "Why are you such a bastard?" "Do you think you are proud?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" Seeing the curses from these private numbers, he just saved them in the phone and ignored them, just like and It has nothing to do with yourself, it's like sending the wrong number.
Outside of himself, he became a stranger. In that elevator, the movie star Benicio de Toro appeared friendly. He was a passerby with no name and no surname, but he met Johnny who was familiar with him. He asked "Which room do you live in?" He took a look and said, "Room 59." He said, "I saw Bono in room 59." Who is Bono, the most famous rock singer in the world, U2 The lead singer of the band. Johnny was expressionless, he said: "That's very interesting." The elevator opened the door, he came out, and walked straight to No.59 Chateaumont Hotel, yes, in that room lived himself or another called Bono Celebrities? Perhaps only when he opened the door and saw a familiar face in the mirror, could Johnny confirm that he was not Bono and that he was not somewhere.
But the daughter was by her side, not somewhere. When Cleo was about to be sent to the camp, she sat in his car and wept, "I don't know when mom will be back? Are you not by your side?" This is the daughter. This is the daughter’s anxiety. At that time, Johnny’s plaster was completely removed. At that time, Johnny and his daughter were already enjoying themselves. Even then, he had slowly become himself, but when the daughter left, he Who will become? He took his daughter to the casino in Las Vegas and took her daughter on a helicopter, but the chaos of the casino and the loud noise of the helicopter propeller would conceal the expressions of true feelings, "Cleo, I'm sorry I can't accompany you." Johnny yelled to his daughter who had taken a taxi to the camp, but her voice was drowned. He couldn't even hear his own voice. Only her daughter's helpless expression and waving goodbye were in the distance.
A kind of departure, or to discover what is really absent, is it a compromise that should not be made to reality, or a decadence that must say goodbye to oneself? He washed the company, saw himself in the mirror again, and then called his wife Laila in a person's room: "I am nothing, I am not worthy to be a person, I don't know where to go, I just want... …" The omitted world is actually a kind of affirmative life, do you want your daughter by your side? Want your wife back? Want to say goodbye to this reality? Want to leave "somewhere"? Johnny at least started to move. He retired from the hotel, walked out of the Chateaumont Hotel 59, left this lustful, decadent, and boring room, and drove his own black sports car, going straight, turning, converging, and accelerating. Through the forest road, through the desert, straight forward, but in this world of speed and direction, Johnny may still return to the long loop of 3 minutes and 12 seconds, so he stopped the car and did not remove the key. Then came out, alone, walking on the road, no loops, no repetitions, no long shots of 3 minutes and 12 seconds, what was left behind was a car, a past, a reality "somewhere" , An abandoned background.
Where is it going? Like a kind of redemption, like a kind of transcendence, like a kind of affirmation after negation, but without a daughter and a wife, without the "thrilling form" brought by driving, for Johnny, being somewhere is not in a certain place. Not being somewhere is another kind of being somewhere: more boring than a loop of 3 minutes and 12 seconds, more terrifying than a face of 2 minutes and 05 seconds, and a greater change than a 40-minute look. Long shots Besides, it is a longer life, a life with no end in sight.
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