Before falling in love, I did not think that this society is so patriarchal, but after falling in love and breaking up, I discovered that patriarchal thinking not only affects men, but also affects women in life. Men unusually seek social affirmation while ignoring respect for women, and women unusually seek male approval while ignoring respect for themselves. During the time I broke up, I watched this show. The personality of the heroine in the show made me see a possibility different from anyone around me. I was inspired and wanted to share this inspiration. give everyone.
In the drama "Virgin Love", the heroine Jane was educated by her grandmother as a person who refused to have sex before marriage. This setting is very similar to the initial education of our generation, but her mother is unmarried. A single mother who gave birth to a daughter, and a very open minded person, supported Jane's premarital sex. This is very similar to the new social concept that our generation faces when they grow up. Jane grew up in these two different concepts. But in the face of my love, marriage, and career decisions, I was very sober, which inspired me very much. Sometimes it can bring me a little good value judgment help in the entanglement. I can learn something in almost every episode:
1. Because of the oath, I have insisted not to have premarital sex with my boyfriend for more than 2 years. Whether or not she is a supporter of premarital sex, Jane knows exactly what her choice is, so she will always insist on her choice in the face of passion. Thinking about you, I always ask various emotional bloggers: My boyfriend wants to have a relationship, but I don’t know if I want to? Am I going to give it to him? This is not whether you want a boyfriend or not, but first of all how you think about it, what your feelings are, what your principles are and what your reasons are. Once you think it over, don't be afraid that others will question you. You have the right to decide your own behavior, and you haven't hurt anyone. So when she decided to have a relationship with her boyfriend later, even if her favorite grandmother blocked her, she just said: Grandma, you can't control it. I told you because if I didn't say it, I would feel guilty, not soliciting Your consent, I'm sorry, I just don't think so, I have to go now, I'm sorry I let you down, grandma"
2. When a girlfriend colleague talked about Jane’s boyfriend who might want to propose to her, she felt that this was not a good direction, because they agreed to take it step by step, and because she had her own ambitions, she wanted to get a teacher’s qualification certificate. Thinking about you, every day I think about how to find a long-term meal ticket immediately after graduation, learn how to achieve the goal of marriage by pleasing men, and imagine that when you get your marriage certificate, you will enter the safe, and you can laugh at others. Do you have any? Think about your own ambition in life to just marry and be another woman?
3. For people who do not respect themselves, know how to fight back in a second. When the rich and handsome male protagonist said that she remembered her, she thought maybe she remembered the short time together before, but the male protagonist said whether it was in the strip club or not. Although the male protagonist did not intend to offend, the first sentence of Jane's reply was " jerk bastard". Think about you with low eyebrows when you see Gao Fushuai, it's no wonder that some Gao Fushuai don't treat you as normal people.
4. After the accidental artificial pregnancy, even if he knew that the child was the offspring of Gao Fushuai, Gao Fushuai promised to raise the child properly. She will also need to consider whether she will give birth because this is not part of her life plan. I feel that having a child is to be responsible for it. If you can’t be responsible, you shouldn’t have a child. But think about your casual unmeasured sex and abortion at will, or if you want to tie up a man by giving birth, is it completely irresponsible?
5. She finally decided to give birth to a child but it was given to Gao Fushuai couple. Then when she proposed to her boyfriend, she said: "I love you because you are my best friend". Think about it if you can be 100% sure of this sentence in your mind when you get married, instead of getting married for the sake of marriage, the chances of divorce later will not be so great. If it is a friend, do you still have a variety of eager needs for your other partner? Do you still think about who is strong and who is weak? Whose MV is higher and whose MV is lower? Remember, you are equal! !
6. Jane intends to sue the doctor who caused the medical malpractice, which is Gao Fushuai’s sister, but Gao Fushuai came over and told her that because it was his sister, she hoped that Jane would not sue and would give her money, she also rebutted fiercely. he. Think about it as a foregone conclusion, pregnancy does not go back to the beginning, and some people give a lot of money for free. In real life, many people may choose to accept money, but in the play Jane clearly distinguishes these relationships and will still prosecute, not because a doctor should be responsible for her actions. Not tempted by money, not kidnapped by relatives and sparse, with clear boundaries.
7. When Jane's fiance hoped that she would resign, although she loved her fiance very much, and she also realized that if she did not resign, her fiance's feelings might be hurt a little, but in the end she chose to be loyal to her feelings. Think about you sometimes, as long as a man is a little unhappy, you just ignore your feelings and life, and immediately make sacrifices. In fact, saying that it is sacrifice is actually an excuse for not insisting on your own life. . Please be responsible for your life, okay?
8. Jane decides to have sex with her fiance, but she will decide where it will happen according to her wishes, not just a random place. Even if her grandmother opposes, she will stick to her own ideas when she decides, not to please anyone, but to please herself. It is very contradictory to think about your first time that you value yourself so casually, but so casually let others manipulate your first time, place, time, and dare not express your own opinions in your sex life.
10. Facing the fiancé who is about to hold the wedding, if you still have such a trace of uncertainty in your heart, do you have the courage to tell the other party the truth to face these uncertainties together? Jane, just had a spring dream with Gao Fushuai, in reality We may simply ignore such trivial matters in our lives. But in reality, there will indeed be some uncertainties in our hearts. Don't ignore these uncertainties, and tell the other person about your true feelings to solve them together. In order to make her fiancé feel better and love, Jane wrote a sexy letter to her fiancé, but the fiancé didn't seem to appreciate it. At this time, Jane realized that the problem was not whether she had a spring dream, but that the other party was no longer willing to spend time with her when faced with a difficult situation. At this time, she no longer chose to endure blindly. She said:
If we are not doing well enough when facing the relationship between two people, how can we solve it? Speak out and express our true feelings, instead of blindly grieving and seeking perfection, or just expecting to work for each other through our own efforts It is very important to change and be true to your feelings, and it is also very important to tell the other person how you feel. Then the expression that is not noisy is also very important. Rather than saying that we may be learning a kind of speech, in fact, it is better to say that when we have mental activities, how to use appropriate language to express, this is very important emotional intelligence. The lack of education in China in this respect is very serious, and it can only be made up for by oneself the day after tomorrow. If you say why some green tea bitches can get what they want, it is because they are sure what they want and can express it in a good way. And since we yearn for a good life, why don't we know how to express it?
11. When it was discovered that the fiancé knew that Gao Fushuai's marriage was not very good, but did not tell her and cheated Jane because of the selfishness of not wanting Jane to leave the child, it broke out at that time. Emotions are the most taboo to deceive. Think about what you did when you knew your boyfriend was chatting or cheating? It's not an outbreak, not a choice to speak out, but a choice to treat your boyfriend better, because you think it is your own responsibility, why does he go to chat? I was not good enough for him and made him feel unsatisfied. Maybe you are responsible for not making him feel good in your relationship, but the person who talks about it is that he is not you, and you should not tolerate anything for his own responsibility. It's important to find out the reason and see if you didn't take him into consideration, or if he is a selfish person.
Once you find out that the other party is cheating, can you still keep your trust in the other party? You must first answer this question honestly. If you no longer trust the other party, the other party can no longer trust you, regardless of the previous relationship. How wonderful it is, it will not last longer. Please be sober and please be bold, girls. When you can't get a sense of trust or security, please don't reluctantly maintain it on your own. Please abandon the current bad choice, because it is maintained now, and it will be in the future. It broke out at a certain time.
You can't go back, you can forgive each other, but you can't be with each other anymore. Do you have to say this boldly sometimes?
12. When Gao Fushuai said that he wanted to follow Jane, Jane was still able to stay calm. Instead of being dazzled by Gao Fushuai's sweet offensive, he expressed the desire to make progress more slowly. And Gao Fushuai should fully understand her ex-fiance's feelings. I think this is a very atmospheric and mature performance. If you use the theory of a certain baby, this is a kind of high MV performance. It can also be said to be personality charm.
13. I don’t know if people fall in love now if they just eat, watch movies, travel and sleep, but I think the so-called close relationship should be established a few times without any interference, just two people’s overnight chat, don’t be tacky, think of your good friends The reason why I can become good friends is that I have had the experience of chatting all night. It is also the establishment of a relationship, and it is a boyfriend or future husband who has had a profound impact on your life. Why don’t you need such a process? Jane said: less kissing, more talking, we got to start to get to know each other, right? Before you truly establish an intimate relationship, please get to know each other well. Don't just blindly think that intimacy is to establish an intimacy. Girls should be especially aware of this issue.
14. In the face of trust, everyone is equal. When Gao Fushuai found out that Jane did not believe in him that much, he was also very injured and it also affected the feelings between them. Trust takes time. In this era of rapid development, perhaps it is precisely because of this that everyone needs to understand each other better.
15. When a major change occurred in Gao Fushuai boyfriend's house, Jane wanted to do more for his boyfriend, accompany him, prepare dinner for him, and comfort him. We talk about self-respect, love ourselves, and fight for our own. Right, but it does not mean that we don’t care about others, but only care about ourselves. When your family, friends, boyfriend, and husband really encounter problems, you can accompany and help them in a suitable way.
16. Gao Fushuai boyfriend proposes marriage with a diamond ring in a romantic way in front of a hundred people. A woman will agree, but Jane will not say Yes because of pressure, because she thinks that marriage should be considered carefully. Marriage is an important matter. Because she is not sure, Gao Fushuai boyfriend knows her well. Attention, everyone, we generally get married because I want to know enough about each other? I rarely think from the perspective that the other party knows me well. In fact, this is a good angle of thinking. If the other person loves not the real you, but the you he imagines, your marriage will not be particularly happy and long, because there will be someone who wants to transform you later. All kinds of behaviors. It means to know if the other person loves the real you, rather than the you he imagined.
17. Probing is actually not a very good way of communication. Once the other party finds out, you will lose the other party's trust in you. Because of increased uncertainty, Jane adopted the method of probing her boyfriend to communicate, but instead made her boyfriend farther away from her.
18. Inner determination is the mentality you should have when you enter a marriage. And Jane has never been determined in her heart, so her marriage has never gone smoothly. Think about your lack of confidence in every way, but you rush into marriage because of your age, house, and car. Why on earth?
19. When a boy is absent-minded and negligent, he is indeed absent-minded and negligent. There are almost no exceptions. And the girls are all using the excuse that he is busy to convince themselves, and then devote themselves to their busy things. Why do you have to wait until this time to start doing your own things? In fact, girls should always have something to do on their own, instead of finding something to do when boys are busy. And boys’ negligence has nothing to do with whether you do your own thing or not. It is only related to the communication and understanding between you. If the communication between you is not good, it is often not just you alone. Let’s see how Jane analyzes the problem. It's easy for men to make excuses for being busy at work.
20. Speak out this sentence boldly, okay? I know that many girls don't want this kind of life, but you didn't say it boldly!
21. Different expectations and plans for life are always the biggest killer of marriage. Jane keeps conflicting because her boyfriend's expectations and plans are different from her own.
twenty two. After breaking up with her beloved boyfriend, she no longer entangled, but chose to face some of the problems facing childbirth alone and bear those pressures instead of complaining about herself. Although she did not do well enough, she still said: I I just hope I have the ability to do something. Although it sounds pitiful, in reality many things are actually done by yourself. Most of what you can rely on is yourself. If you exercise your self-reliance one day earlier, you will have more choices.
23. Although the relationship with her boyfriend was eased later, when her boyfriend wanted to come and get back together, Jane said this:
Her boyfriend did not cheat, did not love Jane, just because of her own business before. I broke up with Jane when she was too upset. Now she comes over and asks for peace. Although Jane still loves her boyfriend, she is still very angry and refuses. Think about you knowing that your boyfriend cheated, broke up after chatting, and forgive him as soon as he came to ask for peace. Think about whether your self-esteem level is too low. I like this sentence very much: "You are not sincere when you say what you said before, should I treat it as if everything has never happened?" This sentence should really be used more.
Although this is only a TV series, I sincerely feel that the heroine can be relied on, without illusions, and the personality of facing her own feelings and inner choices makes me very touched. In reality, we really need to do this more!
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