In the 2012 comedy movie "Friends with Kids" (Friends with Kids), an interesting relationship setting was arranged: a pair of friends of the opposite sex were married and had children. When the family relationship had problems like this, they decided to establish a new one. Unconstrained "open home". In short, the two briefly became friends, conceived and had children, and raised them together, but they still only maintained a long-term friendship relationship.
The film itself is of modest level, but the unusual relationship setting and the expansion of the setting it proposes is very interesting. In the play, two of the three families in the traditional marriage relationship have endless problems after they started raising their children. Toys and sundries are thrown on the floor, the big ones are tired, and the little ones are screaming. Everyone is angry. Life is so tossing that there is no energy and no time for romance. The love in this city is dying and lingering. Even if he barely survived the hardship, he would end up like a deceased willow, leaving only two people who lost their temper and heart to partner with.
Is this "make-up" the ultimate truth of marriage or the self-comfort of loser? The movie didn’t clearly express its attitude, but the open-ended friendship that was stigmatized from the beginning broke the curse. Not only did the friendship continue to be beautiful, the home was tidy and comfortable, and the two also rushed to take care of the children, except that there was no close relationship. , This family is simply more exemplary than any model family. Good deed, what does the screenwriter want to imply?
Of course, the development of the plot will inevitably lead the patrons to love, but the focus of the conclusion of the story I think is to completely eliminate crookedness. Children are not the tomb of marriage. Couples who do not have children will eventually fight against time; and open marriage is not necessarily the savior of love-each playing its own way can ultimately maintain a dynamic balance. The meaning of marriage has long been separated from love and becomes other Political marriage of interest relations. So what kind of secrets of success in married life have been touched by such friendship in the movie?
I think this open-ended relationship actually leads to mutual respect and personal freedom in the relationship between the sexes. Think about how love happens. In the vast sea of people, there is a person who is unique, a star in the dark, a cloud in the blue sky, a heartbeat, a spark, a song, a teardrop, and the ultimate incarnation of hope and all the concepts of happiness. Love stems from the imagination of perfection. Imagine the kapok holding the roots of the oak tree, touching the branches and leaves, imagining the whiteness of the two eyes intertwined, imagining the tragic and beauty of fighting death and loneliness together in the vast universe. However, the perfect soap bubble always breaks in contact with reality. Each of us is a complete person, and no one can only live in each other's imagination. A 100% fit is a legend of loneliness. In the long-term face-to-face, the neglected and concealed edges, branches, and scars will eventually appear. Facing these ugliness, what is the qualitative difference between the attitudes of lovers and friends?
What the lover sees is betrayal-betrayal of perfection, betrayal of hope, betrayal of the future. After this, of course, there will be anger, frustration, disappointment, even indifference and despair.
What a friend sees is true. There is no imagination, no comparison with the original images in the mind, no marriage requirement of “dedicating all one's heart and soul and always standing on my side”, friends will not ask the other party to give up self and put others first. On the contrary, friends appreciate each other's timely care, but also understand each other's frequent absences. Friends only need the critical moment, not forever. "Tolerance" for friends is a prerequisite for the development of a relationship, not a residue of enthusiasm.
Therefore, people in love will ask the other party to lay down their dignity, lose their personality, and become their own vassal and dependence. However, the two things of dignity and personality can be thrown away in the short-term, but it is probably only zombies that can maintain operation without long-term. Unless zombies can also fall in love, the loss of these two points, I think, is the key to the destruction of marriage or love.
The open friendship in the film can become a model family precisely because the setting itself guarantees the respect for each other's personal space and the freedom of personality. Freedom, the freedom to accept constraints spontaneously, not the bondage of children's family bonds, is the true essence of the continuation of the love relationship. So see, what an interesting pair of paradoxes are love and marriage. Love needs freedom to survive. Surviving love requires marriage, and marriage is a social setting that restricts freedom. How to break?
Haha, if there is a standard answer to love and marriage, it will not be mysterious or worry about people. We need to compete with love for a whole lifetime, but not to dig through the truth.
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