Martha insists on giving birth at home in order to draw a line from the life controlled by her mother. But she failed, and her child was born and died in her arms. The blood in the bathtub became the eternal "red letter" on her chest, and she was stuck in the "life" and couldn't get out.
Standing up again, wrapped in a red dress, she was already a cripple. Regardless of the family's efforts to obstruct, she sent the child's body to a medical research institution, hoping to give her short life a little value. Signed twice, once ushered in a new life, once sent away the undead, but the two were only a few days apart, but it seemed to have exhausted the rest of her life. That is the unbearable lightness of her life.
She became mean at work, sensitive, dark, and lonely in front of her family. Any relative or friend who jumped out and mentioned it in the name of care made her feel like she was being tried and humiliated as if she had been stripped over and over again. She rejected her mother's painstaking preaching and intervention, and indifferently treated her husband's invitation to travel and intimacy (infringement)... Her relationship with the people around her sank like a cliff.
Her child died. In the face of this change that lay in front of her, their grief and needs were so unequal. She needs time to resolve the pain of the ups and downs, and this is precisely what the people around do not want to give her. Everyone is urging her to "move on", they behaved diligently and omnipotent, they downplayed or even said nothing about the accident. They even attributed the death of the child to the midwife, in an attempt to get some relief from the transfer of responsibility.
But at this moment, this "comfort" seems so cheap, arrogant and disgusting. They are like the handful of salt that she heavily sprinkled on her wounds after she was injured. They thought they were sterilizing and disinfecting, but they actually increased the sharpness of her pain-she was even more unable to reconcile with herself or anyone.
How she swam ashore the icy river in the middle, I won't go into details here. The end result is a bit like a fairy tale. The midwife was forgiven by Martha in court. The snow stopped, the bridge was repaired, and the rotten apple pits sprouted into towering trees, bearing new fruits. Martha threw the child's ashes into the sea and became a mother again.
Only this time, can the new round of intimacy between the child and her can bridge her fragmented life?
I don't want to say much about what it means to have a child or a child. Almost all those who praise the great maternal love are the moral kidnapping of women and the blasphemy of women's independent personality. This movie is not about the pain a mother suffers when she loses her child, but about how people deal with the secondary harm caused by intimacy after the tragedy.
Has always agreed with Sartre's theory that "others are hell." People in difficult relationships, especially women, are always broken and not free. To a certain extent, others are the fetters and burdens of their self-development and self-fulfillment. They seem to live forever in various family and social role-plays, but are absent in their own world; they are always trapped in the evaluation, expectation, definition and gaze of others; they are always bound to the mob of social order and lose themselves. , Go with the flow...
So in the end, it was not the dead child that made Martha fall apart, but the mother's name, wife's name, daughter's name, sister's name...those invisible but heavy labels, responsibilities, morals, and " "Positive energy" tightly wrapped around her and tore at her wounds, which became the reason for "harming" her again and again.
Many family ethical tragedies in real life come from the collapse of this kind of close relationship, especially in China's social structure with traditional families as the basic unit. The two generations intervene too much in each other’s lives under the name "It’s all for your good", and use "It’s all your fault" to wash away their failures in life; there is no privacy space between husband and wife or even friends, who They can impose their own will on others, make judgments about others, and judge their opinions...
These entangled, stalemate, contradictory and confrontational connections bring not enlightenment, nourishment and assistance, but endless games, squeeze and loss. After all, people are independent individuals, and the intimacy that loses the sense of boundaries is dangerous and contrary to human nature. Able to maintain a comfortable distance from the important people in life, do not try to possess, control and dominate, treat him as an independent soul to respect and understand, let him face and deal with the various encounters he has encountered, and accompany him appropriately What a precious accomplishment to finish a certain period of life.
Martha finally chose to forgive because she soberly realized that the only person responsible for the child's death was herself, and the only person who could get her out of this haze was herself.
Are we not? After all, everyone comes with the tasks he wants to complete in his life, so he should let him go to lead, decide, experience, bear, settle, and settle. We retreat to complete ourselves. Isn't this the greatest kindness of being born?
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