—————— Serious spoilers after viewing ——————
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It's a movie I've watched four times over and over, and it's a movie that touches my heart every time I think about it. It's arguably one of the most treasured movies I've watched in 2020.
In fact, even now, I don't know where to start. The title of this afterthought is actually a lyric from Mao Buyi's song "Relieving Sorrow". When I listened to this song last night, I suddenly felt that this lyric was particularly suitable to describe Stuart, so I decided to use this as the title and write down some thoughts. Stewart's life has been bumpy and bumpy, and I don't think his state of mind can be understood simply by empathy. Perhaps in his view, death is freedom. When I watched the movie for the first time, I could hardly breathe, let alone write down what I felt after watching it. I can't write it, and I don't think I'm qualified to write. Because Stewart's emotions seem to be transmitted to the viewer through the screen, but in the end, this is just an illusion. In fact, as a bystander, I can't imagine that he bears so many unbearable pressures. What kind of feeling. I'm afraid that what I'm writing will be so superficial that I can't even move myself, and that's a disrespect to the film and Stewart himself. After that, I was hesitant, and it was not until the third time that I had some hazy thoughts in my mind. Until today, perhaps inspired by the song, I finally dared to pick up a pen and write some shallow words. I often say that I am very anxious, that I often feel stressed in my life, etc. But after seeing more and more films and literary works, and hearing more and more people talking about their experiences, there is one word I dare not use lightly any more—pain. I think my situation can be called "annoyance" at best, and compared to some people, it is just a grain of sand in the desert, a drop of water in the sea, and a speck of ash in the air. If I had experienced even one of the things that Stewart had, I wouldn't be able to live as peacefully as I do now. Physical torture brings people a physical pain that is formed by one after another, while long-term mental torture is like cutting a piece of flesh in the heart with a dull knife, or as if living all the time. In a suffocating blister, or like being imprisoned in a cage with no escape. The whole life is immersed in bottomless bitter water, everything is stained with bitter taste, and the emotions that cannot be vented are locked behind the lips and eyes. Not to mention those who have indelible mental trauma, wandering around the world with incurable wounds day and night, and may be hurt twice, three times or even countless times at any time. It was a pain I couldn't describe in words, I couldn't even imagine it. What happened to Stewart, I don't want to write about it here. I hope everyone can find this movie and watch it patiently. Because in some cases, I think good sound and picture art is more powerful than my shallow words. And in this movie, actor Tom Hardy played the role of Stewart vividly. I believe his performance is enough to impress any sympathetic and patient, attentive audience.
In fact, Stewart is not a standard "positive character", on the contrary, some of his actions make him look more like a "negative character" in real life. He was on welfare, living in low-rent housing, smoking heroin, drinking a lot of alcohol, and staggering down the road. If it wasn't for Alexander meeting him by chance and getting along with him with a tolerant heart, the two went from ordinary friends to close friends, and finally Stuart told Alexander the secret buried in his heart, maybe Stuart will only be at the bottom of society in this life." One of the "rubbish", maybe sooner or later will rot in some unknown corner, along with his unspeakable sad past. Why did Stuart become the down-and-out look he is now? With this idea in mind, Alexander explored the secrets of Stewart's life experience little by little. I admire Alexander very much. Although he initially wanted to dig out Stewart's story to write a book to make money, in the process, he was able to put aside all prejudices, exchange sincerity for sincerity, and perceive Stewart's spirit with the most sincere heart. world. And he was also able to glimpse the dark side behind Stewart, it was the demon hidden in the past years that devoured his normal life. This fresh style and heavy content film unfolds the life of a down-and-out young man for people to see. One after another shocking scars appeared, but the film did not exaggerate too much, and even the overall tone of the film revealed a touch of warmth. Except for a few episodes of Stewart's memories that are more impactful, other scenes try to use some colors that I find warm and comfortable, and there are a few cute animations interspersed in between, making the atmosphere of the film more lively. This is like Stewart's heart, innocent and kind. While carrying so many unbearable pasts and serious illnesses, he still accompanied Alexander to the protests, told his story to the public to support Alexander's protests, and shared with Alexander The food he likes will also be revealed to Alexander about his hidden past and thoughts, because he cherishes his only friend very much.
After learning about Stewart's life, I feel extremely sorry for him and at the same time feel extremely angry at the people who hurt him. He should have a happy life, a family who loves him, and he loves the world. But in reality, he was hurt by his family and outsiders. He had a rough and painful childhood, a youth who could not adapt to the society, and a future that could never be reached. Fortunately, at the end of his life, he met Alexander. I have a conjecture about his ending: it was precisely because he finally told others about his experience and witnessed his sister's marriage that he no longer had any nostalgia for the world, so he decided to die. Stewart said this: "Sometimes I think I'm the child of the devil. I let the devil in. Now I can't get him out. I tried...burning him out, and cutting him out, and ...he don't take no notice. Why should he? He don't wanna be homeless." ("Sometimes I feel like I'm the son of Satan. I put the devil in and can't get him out now. I Tried burning with fire, cutting with a knife...he didn't care. Why would he? The devil doesn't want to be homeless.") (Note: "burning" and "cutting with a knife" refer to what Stewart did before. All kinds of self-mutilation behaviors) Painful but kind, sad and optimistic, enduring all kinds of torture but still welcoming friends with a smile. Stewart, who was immersed in repentance after losing control, tried his best to get rid of his violent tendencies, and grew up in a rancid quagmire but had a beautiful heart, and finally found his freedom. Because of him, I am willing to believe that man is a child of God, and hope that he will become God's darling in heaven and enjoy the love that he rarely feels when he is on earth. (Note 1: The film is adapted from the biography written by Alexander Masters, and both Stuart and Alexander in the film have character prototypes.) (Note 2: The pictures are all from the Internet, infringed and deleted)
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