---- Stuart, Stuart: a life backward
Shame. I feel ashamed when that sentence came into my ears. Stuart, his tragic life turned out to be entirely his brother's charge. After experiencing so much cruelty in the world, and after endless struggles on the brink of mental breakdown, Stewart blamed himself and his own violence for all these tragic encounters. This kind of courage and sincerity in facing life moved me and I admired it. Stewart, he knew the reason for everything, he remembered every choice he made, and as Alex said, he remembered every time he went crazy.
I have to admit the truth of the character Stewart. In the face of a harsh birth and family environment with no choice, young Stewart is weak. He almost made the choice that each of us would make - live with that . Now the TV media is full of many "inspirational stories" of what a tragic experience and what a great achievement, these so-called "real" drugs that usually make people blood boil, compared to Stewart's experience, but it seems so frivolous and flattering. Like the confrontation between Alex and Stuart in the film, "It's the system that caused so much misery, but it is also the system that will get you a new heart pacemaker. Contradictions in reality will always exist, and the power of individuals is too weak to make any changes to this contradictory system. Maybe you are unfortunately pushed to the cusp of this contradiction by the finger of God, and you can only empty your heart and carry the truth of this destiny, just like Stewart, suffered a tragic failure in life. An ordinary life now, tormented by the so-called principles of a better world created by generations of life over millions of years? What a fierce mockery, yet how helpless. Stewart can't choose his own experience, and he is too weak to change the system. Maybe he goes to prison time and time again to prove something? Or, does this at least tell us something? Do you care about those homeless or disabled people begging at the station? When they stretched out their dirty hands to your white chest, do you always turn away in contempt, secretly defending your noble and inviolable position and your glamorous and vain dignity? When seeing alcoholics, murderers, and perpetrators in prison, is there a sense of schadenfreude superiority that gradually fills your usual lack of passion with excitement and joy? "We" are just those who are accidentally left out when God rolls the dice, we don't have to carry some too heavy "dispositions", we are lucky to be those who can control our own life, it is hard to say, if I were Stewart, How would my life be better than his. We are like kites drawn by the thread of our own destiny. Even if we struggle hard, we will never be able to break free from the thread and fly. After recognizing it, maybe like Stewart, I saw the most real side of life, ourselves. You can't choose encounter, choose luck, all you can do is to make judgments and choices in the face of these established conditions, such step by step is the most profound and clear knife marks that carve your life, and there will be surging in you. The smell of blood in the chest cavity. Regardless of failure, suicide, success, happiness, the outcome can only be borne by you. Stuart understands, but he is weak and lonely. In this society, no one will listen to his heart and comfort his injured body and mind, even his own mother, child, such close relatives! At this point, I can only feel sorry for the backwardness of our modern social civilization. Even in a developed capitalist country like the United Kingdom, the cold heart is still so ignorant to the core! "The world needs more love." I know this is a very vulgar slogan, and everyone is familiar with it. However, who has the passion and strength to practice this slogan like participating in a pop song super imitation show? Everyone is just burying themselves in The so-called "just cause" of his own is busy every day and every night, and the attitude of only sweeping the snow in front of the door is not lacking in the majority of the Chinese people. While shouting for democracy, they are reluctant to act. Expect others to do something for you. In this way, tragedies like Stewart's will only increase in our society.
"All I want is to lie down and die. I feel so filthy and terrifying. I just want to escape this madness even once." The
madness grows silently in the increasingly superior calm. In this crazy and cruel world, what are we using to protect ourselves? Maybe not using violence like murderers and lawbreakers, or using madness like a lunatic in a mental hospital. We are hung up on "normal happiness" The brand is swaggering across the market, but there is a hidden hatred in my heart. Yes, it is hatred. Just like "violence" and "rage", "hatred" is what we use. In Christian doctrine, these three are the original sin of human beings, and the existence that accompanied human beings born into this world. I'm well aware that sometimes, I get annoyed by failing professional courses, which breeds hatred. It seems like a ball of anger, so I can only see the brokenness of the reality after he burned it in my eyes. This kind of hatred is a bottomless pit. So, when I heard Stewart say "the day I discovered vilence" to Alexander, I felt utterly ashamed. Stewart didn't have enough will and enthusiasm to get rid of the trauma of his childhood like some others, he chose to be controlled by it, and he bowed his head weakly, accepting the banter of fate on him again and again. In the eyes of many, he was a pitiful loser, depraved, engulfed by the waves of fate. However, I felt a strong strength from him, or it could be said to be the strength of the British. Bravely take on my own responsibilities and choices, why can't I ever see the filth of my heart in my eyes, but always look for the murder weapon in others? There are too many helpless encounters in the world. Sometimes there is only a piece of paper between misfortune and luck. Be brave to face life and face fate sincerely, can you do it? I want to say: Even if it is miserable, it is still more weighty and meaningful than self-immolation in the anger of hatred!
emma 2112/7/8 19:23
View more about Stuart: A Life Backwards reviews
