Stewart said he was sometimes attacked by the dark side of a Midnight Mist, where he would lose control and feel the devil inside him. "I just hope, if only once, to escape this craziest," he said.
The kind and enthusiastic Stuart is willing to lend money to friends he has just met, and is willing to give speeches to help innocent people in prison. He enthusiastically helps others and advises others. It's hard to believe that such a gentle person is actually drinking, taking drugs, using violence, robbing and stealing, taking hostages, and going to jail many times on a daily basis. Why does such a person exist, what has he experienced, and should he be defined as a good person or a bad person?
Rewinding his life, slicing away the cocoon, one by one, he restored his life experiences for us one by one. What we end up seeing is a childhood that endured endless violence, sexual abuse, misunderstanding and rejection by family members and society growing up. These experiences are so varied that they can distort, destroy a person, and cast a shadow on him that he cannot escape for the rest of his life. Childhood pain is unfortunate, fortunately some people slowly learn to accept it and live a meaningful life. But the most unfortunate thing is that some have been shrouded in fog and struggled since then. They need to spend their whole life to heal their childhood and escape the fog.
When the fog came, Stewart collapsed, he felt the demon inside him, he howled, cried, cut himself with a knife, set himself on fire, trying to drive the demon out of him. This fog, this demon, is something that many people have been fighting against all their lives. It is a childhood trauma, a haze that lingers, a dangerous explosive. Seeing Stewart covered in blood hysterical and helpless howl, I can feel the pain and helplessness - in a childhood without sufficient self-protection, due to the injuries of others, I have left indelible wounds on myself, But you have to bear the consequences for the harm of others, and the pain will be accompanied for life. It is depression and pain like this that makes people find ways to escape, so some people choose to drink, abuse drugs and drugs, and they just want to do less pain, as Stewart said, even if only once can escape this madness.
Although he has experienced so much pain that should not belong to him, Stewart is more willing to believe that it is his fault. He said that violence should not be used, even in the case of being forced to help, if there is one thing in life that he can change , he chose not to use violence. Although Stewart experienced countless traumatic abuses and injuries in his childhood, what he wanted to choose was to change the harm done to others, not the harm done to him by others. They spend their lives forgiving others and blaming themselves for mistakes.
These people seem to be maverick and out of tune with this world, but they are deep in the hell on earth and gradually collapse, they try to escape the fog but to no avail, they spend most of their lives fighting against the fog, some people succeed and some people destroy. May they escape the fog and finally embrace the sun, and may they know that everyone deserves to be loved.
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