After reading it, there are only some scattered feelings left:
Lennon is a person who is very cold to herself, her emotions have been diluted, the most intense is the opening "You can't disappear as you wish, I want to record you"
After thinking about it for a while, the reason why Lennon feels cold may be a matter of perspective, or it may be because Lennon exists as an active passive character.
Let’s start with perspective. Like a deliberate focus, Lennon’s emotions are all devoted to important characters and turning points. But strangely, she's also very honest with her senses, like "That's the first time I felt that kind of pleasure," and when this sentence came up, I subconsciously thought what was going to happen here.
The second possibility is Lennon's character, as she said, "I can't seem to escape that block no matter what." Except for the days when the island vacation did not write to Lila, Lennon was more "self". Moments are always influenced by Lila. She is actively influenced by Lila, which is actually quite depressing, not only because she can't surpass Lila, but also because she may subconsciously think that only by being influenced by her can I keep up with her. It's depressing in every way.
Recently, I have been thinking about how to behave as a protagonist in the work. Perhaps when I share my crush with friends, I should realize that creation is easiest when the protagonist is just a frame. But there is no feedback at all, and the protagonist will appear to be just a picture frame. As a "good writing" perspective, the perspective of secret love is not only because of the long distance, it can automatically blur unnecessary details, and the missing details will also be added imaginatively (perhaps from this to reflect the character of the protagonist); on the other hand, Secret love lacks both input and feedback. When substituting descriptions, it will reduce a lot of subjective descriptions, which means that it can satisfy audiences with different perception abilities at the same time.
tbc.
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