In the past, I thought that I would not be hurt anymore. After I started counseling after high school, I thought I was dealing with the problems of my own life and getting along properly with the people around me. I feel that the people around me now Finally the "good guy" I chose myself.
When I was watching this drama, the fear and disgust started to churn in my heart again. I remember that the last time I fell into this kind of emotion just by watching the drama was the movie "For N". The family's upbringing makes people feel hopelessly that there will never be a day to come, the kind of unrelenting hatred, dungeon-like. Then I remembered the black cube in my heart and the gray vagina-like flexible tube that I mentioned in the consultation I did last week. This was my life with nowhere to escape. Fortunately, the two girls will grow up after two episodes, otherwise I think I can't catch up, and the disgust in my heart will be covered to the top. The filth of the environment, the curse words of hatred between people, is the greenhouse of hell, everyone sticks to each other and relies on each other, jealous and guilty, and the "love" that comes out of their mouths, how can they say "no love"? With a little gratitude and kindness, it should be called "love". The contrast is outstanding. So outside the play, I can see clearly that the people in the show's mutual desire and everyone's eternal desire for those specific people come from the specific things in the deep environment. People who may fall in love with people, people who have a good impression, life is separated from all others. But from this, I think I also gained some freedom. Since it is not up to me to decide, any mistakes and encounters do not belong to me, and I do not need to be accommodated. Projection in psychology can make everything Explained very clearly. I only need the affirmation of some special people, but this does not prevent me from understanding more, to get rid of it, and then there is no self, no one in the world is special, and it is enough to realize that I have obsessions .
So I don't think people can escape from any kind of environment in the past. Later, you thought you were running away, but you just fell into a new trap. I will no longer easily accept the "box" from others, and I will repeatedly review what I say and do, and my heart is bitter, but I think there is always a sea of heaven in it. Avoiding the trap is what I need to do for myself.
View more about My Brilliant Friend reviews
