'I've always been scared, it's normal'

Zola 2022-04-19 09:02:43

How beautiful was Paris, France in the 1990s?

Looking out from the running public carriage, the greenery beside the building is lush, the flat road is constantly flowing, and the Seine River is sparkling...

AIDS has changed the original trajectory of this group of young people's lives. It seems to make people live more enthusiastically, like seeing the world from a different perspective, like the world has more colors, sounds, and anger...especially in the morning. It seems to have changed the landscape of Paris.

120 BPM tells such a story.

The semi-autobiography of Campillo and Philippe Manju is self-written and self-directed, which tells the story of "ACT UP" (Aids Coalition To Unleash Power), an anti-AIDS organization, like a documentary, with gloomy passion. Switching back and forth between bickering meetings and actual protests is a collection of angry people and how that group confronts themselves.

This group of people comes from far and wide and plays different roles in their lives, but no matter who they are, they gather regularly every week to speak equally at meetings. If you agree, you snap your fingers, if you disagree, you squeak. All collective activities are open and honest. They discussed whether their previous actions constituted violence, they discussed the event slogans and posters they wrote down, and about the future, some of them were impatient, some were enthusiastic, some were calmly supportive, some were impassioned, and Campillo switched the camera between the meeting and the action, breaking the The laws of time, presenting the individual in the collective.

Everyone faces different situations, death and inaction. Even if it hurts the mood of the companions, they must put forward their own opinions-because "SILENCE=MORT" (silence means death). The person in charge went to visit the hospitalized Sean and asked him why he had hated him for so many years. Sean said confidently, "I don't know either!" They share the same name in this "ACT UP". A collective of mutual assistance, but the freedom and colorfulness of individuals will never be wiped out.

The name of the film is "120 BPM", which comes from the favorite house music of director Campillo.

Different from the spread and rippling of trance soul music, house makes people want to stay in place and indulge. The combination of generous bass and electronic drums, mixed with joy and apprehension, perfectly reflected the living conditions of the gay community at the time. The dust flying in the air of the nightclub is so similar to the environment in which the virus in the body is located, so that people have a feeling of "the air is like dust, but who is the dream?"

The dust suspended in these recurring lights, along with the music in the dance hall, stirs the crowd - the film uses such shots to push the struggle after the struggle, like boiling arterial blood that beats vigorously every minute Hit the heart.

If the first half of the movie is the group's growl, then the second half is the individual's confession, connected by a lingering same-sex sex scene.

The love in the movie is the warmth of the body and the closeness of the spirit. Wearing or not wearing a condom brings out the past accompanied by passionate love and illness. The closeness of people is both physical and spiritual, and breathing and whispering coexist. The blue picture is like the music language of DEEP HOUSE, sexy and deep. Extending the flow of time along the stroking hand, like a blue and quiet lake reflecting the past with the lake surface. The shot breaks the boundaries of time with the warmest blue. "What did we know at that time? We are all responsible." It is no longer meaningful to blame who infects whom.

In the school to promote the use of condoms, the people in the parade waved clockwise with high signs, and moved the hand of the time. One second Nathan looked at a girl at a loss and said to him, "I'm not gay, I don't need it." The next second, Sean stroked Nathan's face and kissed it gently, Nathan watched Sean's provocative eyes, the heartbeat gradually drowned in the crowd. That kiss was contemptuous and high-spirited.

Nathan sticks to Sean sweetly, and can't help kissing his neck and lips during the meeting, watching his thin body being worn down by disease day by day, leaving only the skeleton and those blue eyes. Nathan has always been very patient. He was at home with medical gloves ready to inject medicine. He took Sean to the hospital and set up the room where they lived together. He kissed him and stroked him to help him jerk off. Drain the liquid from his body and gently wipe the tears from his big blue eyes.

People always die. Among the people who love each other, there will always be one who will be the one who leaves first. As Sean said: "I'm sorry, that person is you." You witnessed his life wither, and you stayed with him, with grief, nostalgia, and responsibility. And he has deep guilt for you.

Beyond sickness and death, love is a constant theme.

Deliberately avoid coming to the next room, because looking at the face "I can't do it". Nathan put away the sofa bed awkwardly, but knew in his heart that the remains were being sorted there. Making coffee with Sean's mother, entertaining friends who came to mourn, a group of people gathered around and joked about how to distribute the ashes. Life goes on, with little things and future time.

In a blink of an eye, I will have sex with another person on the bed, hug him and cry like a mess.

Orange is a warm color. It shines on the faces of the people who march on the streets of Paris. It is a mighty sadness. This sadness is not the wailing of the dying, but the loneliness of the brave people in the struggle. Shawn's ashes were scattered on the site of their next protest, it could be swept into a dustpan, it could be sucked into a vacuum cleaner, it could be scattered anywhere in Paris, keeping the human spirit alive and powerful.

The blood-stained Seine contains turbulence in its heavy sorrow - "I have always been afraid, this is normal."

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