My memories, my experiences and my past shape who I am now. They implicitly determine my actions, my thoughts, my decisions, and even the path of my future. I sometimes look back at how I was born. The road, but I can't see it clearly, I can only see countless, vague memory fragments, they sometimes reappear in my dreams, but they often make up a chaotic picture, they are my past, but they are like inertia. Magic determines my future, these beautiful or painful fragments, I can't get rid of them, what we call "forgetting" seems to be controlled by an inexplicable force, but I can't do anything about it, these "filtered" memories Fragments have become a part of my life, and the chaotic memory images that reappear in my dreams late at night seem to be constantly reminding me of who I am, where I came from, and where I am going, and sometimes I hate it all but there is nothing I can do . And the hints and guidance that these memories gave me are guidance for me, but also a powerful force that I cannot resist. When I understand and accept all this, great pain also follows.
I am full of yearning for the places I have not been and the things I have not done, but there is a voice in my heart that tells me and guides me back to my hometown and back to my relatives. Gathering is the source of happiness, and separation is the source of pain, and the knowledge and cognition I have acquired from books, movies, TV, and music have formed another force that drives me to explore, discover, and experience more. Many, when I see all this clearly in a trance at a certain moment, I feel like a doll, firmly controlled by my own past and cognition, and the trajectory of my life, from the one I have memories. From the moment, it has been painted, and my helplessness is that the power to decide and filter my memory, who is the owner of the hands that play with the doll, this kind of thinking will bring me contradictions and pains. But it will also become part of my life.
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