I fear being in hot
I fear being cold
I fear being fool
I fear being poor
I fear being ignorant
I fear being envied
I fear being addicted to anything
I fear bad grades
I fear admiring
I fear expecting something impossible
I fear losing my way suddenly
I fear abusing money
I fear gazing at others
I fear something
I fear seemingly hopeless future
This was written in a hurry after reading it in the library the day before yesterday.
I always feel that at some point I will sit in the corner and organize my thoughts like I am now. I
feel afraid and feel powerless. I feel that there is no friend in the world to rely on
. The man said, "I think I am not afraid of anything now." I can't do it, I think about it seriously, there are really many, many things that I am afraid of.
The powerlessness caused by fear, the fear caused by loneliness. Recently, I watched a variety show "Follow Bell to Adventure" on Dragon TV. Unlike previous variety shows, the stars who have lost their halo no longer seem to live so clearly. Bell said that life is the process of conquering fear. The tone when he spoke was very much like that of a foreign teacher in a speaking class, an old American lady in her fifties who looked more than ten years younger than her actual age.
Today is the first day of 2016. I was so frightened that I uninstalled QQ, WeChat, Weibo and even Tieba on my phone because I wanted to give myself a few days of peace and quiet. I'm afraid, I don't have any wishes for the new year, I don't have friends, and I don't have a good mood. Happiness is theirs, I have nothing.
I can't even think of chicken soup for myself, but I don't actually feel that I'm in despair. Instead, I remind myself from time to time to laugh, to be happy, to believe in the truth, goodness and beauty, and to believe that the sincerity will not be let down. Even when the lights are dim, I am really scared to the point where my heart beats.
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