should i get married

Aletha 2022-04-23 07:05:21

August Stirling once said, is there anything scarier than a husband and wife hating each other?

I'm 24 this year, I have a boyfriend, we've been dating for 7 years, and friends all ask if we're getting married soon. We came to Shanghai two years ago, rented a house in Shanghai, and became social animals; my boyfriend recently bought a car and took out a car loan. Is this state a prelude to marriage?

My boyfriend and I met and got together in the second year of high school. After graduating from the third year of high school, I was successfully admitted to a 985 college in another place. He followed me into a third college in that place. During the four years of college, he was unstoppable and sat for 2 hours every Sunday. Come play with me on the bus.

After I failed the postgraduate entrance examination, I found a job in Shanghai, and he still accompanied me to Shanghai, and neither was very satisfied with the work. For him, I moved out of the dormitory provided by the company and found a small single room to live with him. There is no warm feeling of home, just a very clear feeling: I have only him and he has only me in this cruel and utterly cruel magic capital. When I returned to the rented place after get off work, it seemed that I had cut off contact with the outside world. There were only two of us in the world of Nuoda, and we were tossing each other in this small world.

In the beginning, we were in constant cold war. On the one hand, I couldn’t get out of the frustration of failing in the postgraduate entrance examination. On the other hand, I was full of complaints about my current job in a state-owned enterprise, and he couldn’t accept a job like a telemarketer. Every day after get off work, he kept complaining and then played games with his friends. He's like a constant output radio, too loud and too egotistical. And I, like a sponge with holes all over my body, constantly accepting his negative energy, and unable to digest my anguish, my body is constantly being cut by reality, and it is getting heavier and heavier. The only way to vent is to shed tears before dawn. Dry.

I gradually realized that the unequal relationship between each other has weakened the strong feelings. We seem to have lost all romantic qualities. I often think that the result of my paranoia and his selfishness is the result of the incompatible personality in this world.

He later quit his job, but he didn't expect a job to be hard to find, so he spent 5 months in a rental house doing nothing. Because of his "showing weakness" this time, I felt the responsibility of love miraculously. While saving money to subsidize the "household", I bought him gifts to cheer him up. After all, he found a job he liked. When a man can inspire motherhood in a woman, he wins. So will I marry him?

Accidentally watched "Marriage Life", I found the answer.

John and Marianne used to be a model couple, but John cheated, a flirtatious woman named Paula, John was burdened with guilt and confessed or vented to Marianne the day before the elopement. He said that his sex life with Paula was so harmonious, that he was finally free from being arranged and nagged by Marianne, he was finally free from being tied down by family life, and he cried out to freedom. He informs her that he no longer loves her. And Marianne could only accept it painfully.

Half a year after John and Paula eloped, he returned to Marianne again to woo. Marianne seemed to have been waiting for this moment, but she refused, because of jealousy and hatred; but she returned to God and asked him to stay the night because of love and dependence. Afterwards, they talked about divorce, John began to hate the loneliness Paula brought him and missed his marriage with Marianne again, he hated the confidence of Marianne who started a new life, he hated thinking that he would not agree to sign Marian's determination in the divorce book, he beat her, full of resentment that love could not help, and unwillingness to this endgame.

In the end, they fell in love with each other again outside their respective marriages, as unrestrained as when they were young, and both of them became comfortable, because the other party was just a pure lover, there was no so-called responsibility, no so-called life, and they complained about their current other half. , like their marriage at the time. Nothing has changed except that their love is no longer bound by marriage.

So it's not that love is repeated, but that once it is bound, it is no longer pure. Marriage is a gang rape. Both parents, children, life, work, society, social interaction, etc. are the perpetrators. You just have to learn to have fun.

"Marriage was a mistake, it was more of a joke."

So while you still love, try to love.

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Extended Reading
  • Nils 2022-03-25 09:01:23

    When the male protagonist faced the divorce agreement and cried out in tears, I found that I depended on you more than I thought, I needed a family, I needed a normal life, I couldn't help but sigh over and over again, this is Bergman. ! It's too delicate to be cruel!

  • Charlie 2022-03-28 09:01:13

    Finally got up the courage to read it, how cruel, how real. Marriage is about telling the same story day in and day out, each time being different. Don't know the whole thing, don't question it to the end, don't cheat for no reason, but don't have the courage to accept the whole truth. Sometimes they think too much about themselves, and sometimes they think too much about each other. If two people have no edges and corners, they will hurt each other. They are all trying to overcome misunderstandings, but the misunderstandings are getting deeper and deeper. Living in chaos, we must try our best to make sense and restore order. Originally it was love, but when I loved and loved, I was tired, and when I lived, I became numb and cold. It's really sad that marriage can make a person hate someone they once loved.

Scenes from a Marriage quotes

  • Marianne: I felt inadequate at work and at home, and I was a washout in bed too. I was hedged in by all the griping and endless demands! Goddamn you! Was it so strange that I used sex for leverage? I was outnumbered, having to fight you, both sets of parents and society! When I think about what I endured, I could scream! I tell you this: never again! You sit there whining about conspiracies. Well, it serves you right! I hope you'll have it rammed down your throat that you're a useless parasite.

    Johan: You're being utterly grotesque!

    Marianne: So what? That's what I've become!

  • Marianne: Sometimes you ask such goddamn silly questions.

    Johan: Sorry. Are you angry with me?

    Marianne: I'm not angry, but I'm on the verge of tears. The trouble with me is that I can't get angry. I wish that for once in my life I could really lose my temper, as I sometimes feel I have every right to. I think it would change my life. But that's not the point. You spoke earlier about loneliness. That bit about being strong on your own. I don't believe in your gospel of isolation.I think it's a sign of weakness.

    Johan: What's wrong, Marianne?

    Marianne: It's so... humbling.

    Johan: What's humbling?

    Marianne: I think about you... and I think about myself and about the future. I can't see how you're going to cope without me. Sometimes I think in desperation, "I must look after Johan. He's my responsibility. It's up to me to make sure he's all right. That's the only our lives will be worthwhile."

    Marianne: I don't believe people are strong all on their own. You have to have someone's hand to hold.