"Take back control" slogan of the year

Dominic Cummings: Let me tell you who we're up against. Who are setting themselves up over the river to destroy us.

[scene cuts to Vote Remain offices as he continues]

Dominic Cummings: Lucy Thomas, ex-producer of BBC's Newsnight program, so she'll know how to handle the press. Director of the campaign, Will Straw, son of Jack. Failed his MP race in 2015, typical establishment thinker: "If it didn't work the first time, try it again". You got Ryan Coetzee, director of strategy, he's Nick Clegg's former special advisor.

Nigel Farage: Labour and Lib-Dem hate each other post-coalition. That won't work!

Dominic Cummings: Oh, yeah, no, it's a proper left and center-left love-in. You've got the Greens and the Welsh, but none as interesting as these. The one true enemy they both share...

Matthew Elliott: Tories.

Dominic Cummings: The Number Ten machine, headed up by, trumpets please

[blows raspberry]

Dominic Cummings: Craig Oliver!

Nigel Farage: Cameron's communication director.

Dominic Cummings: A position held as we know by a long succession of bastards - Campbell, Coulsen. This one's more out of the limelight, ostensibly in control and composed. He's furiously loyal to his boss and I can tell you that we, uh, well we have a little history.

[cut back to Vote Remain offices]

Craig Oliver: Dominic Cummings is basically mental. We had to all but ban him from Number Ten. He's desperate to be seen as this visionary architect of a new world order, but actually, he's just an egotist with a wrecking ball. It does however mean that he's, well, he's unpredictable.

[cut back to Vote Leave offices]

Dominic Cummings: I know how to beat Oliver. Conventional wisdom is a disease that the British are peculiarly susceptible to, and he certainly hasn't been inoculated.

Dominic Cummings: [scene cuts between the two offices of Vote Leave and Vote Remain as they write out strategy] We also know that the other side are gonna run a campaign the way that campaigns have been run for pretty much the last 70 years. They're gonna fight from the center, and they're gonna make it about jobs and the economy.

Andrew Cooper: We focus on the economy and jobs. The message: leaving risks both.

Craig Oliver: Clinton '92. Best campaign ever. "It's the economy, stupid".

Andrew Cooper: You define your opponent as the riskier option, and though the change candidate might initially poll well, come election day the nerves kick in. Voters revert back to center. Law of political science - if the status quo are ahead before the campaign begins, which we are, they always win on the day. So...

Douglas Carswell: So, what's our answer?

Dominic Cummings: Tzu's "The Art of War". If we fight them on home terrain, they will win. So what we need to do is lead them to the ninth battlefield. The deadly ground where no one expects to find themselves. Outcome? *They* perish.

Victoria Woodcock: Which means?

Dominic Cummings: You reverse the proposition. We make *them* the risky option. To stay is to risk losing more of the things we cherish - we're asking voters not to reject the status quo, but to return to it, to independence. How much does it cost us each week to be members of the EU?

Daniel Hannan: In the region of...

Dominic Cummings: What's our researcher's name?

Matthew Elliott: Richard.

Dominic Cummings: Ricardo, will you get me all the figures up for how much it costs to be members of the EU for a week? Largest one wins.

Matthew Elliott: Make sure it's verifiable!