The Joy Luck Club, a Hollywood movie based on a novel written by Amy Tan, a Chinese-American woman, brought tears to my eyes. Four families, two generations of women (even three generations), all tell the story of mother and daughter.
The mother-daughter relationship is an eternal topic. Women are relatively emotional, and mothers and daughters are both the closest people, and they can easily become the people who hurt each other the most. It is said that the daughter is the father's little lover. The person who said this may not be to show how close the father and daughter are, but to reflect the invisible opposition between mother and daughter! Coupled with Freud's "Oedipus complex" theory, there is a natural "hostile" relationship between mother and daughter, father and son.
A few thoughts on maintaining a normal and healthy mother-daughter relationship:
1. A mother should be able to completely abandon the idea of patriarchal and not despise her daughter, this is the first rule;
2. A mother cannot put all her wishes and ideals on her daughter, and want her to achieve what she cannot achieve. This is the second rule;
3 No matter what injustices you have been subjected to, you should recognize and face up to the dark side of your heart, and educate yourself, instead of treating your daughter with a distorted heart. Fluctuating hot and cold, cloudy and sunny will make daughters at a loss, and children's instinct to be close to their mothers will cause their minds to become unbalanced and lack a correct understanding of their own value.
Going back to The Joy Luck Club, there are four mother-daughter pairs in the story:
Wu Jingmei + mother Suyuan: Suyuan put all her expectations for the two abandoned children on Jingmei, hoping that she will be excellent; but Jingmei is very ordinary, and no matter how hard she tries, she cannot meet her mother's expectations. It was not until the end that Suyuan told her daughter that she knew the value of her daughter: although she was not very good, she had a kind heart. Relatively speaking, this mother-daughter relationship is the most healthy and balanced, so although the daughter is not very good, she has a healthy heart, and the scene where she finally returned to China to meet the twin sisters was very touching.
Jiang Linduo + daughter: Lin Duo got rid of the child bride status in the old society family by herself, and is a very strong and capable woman. Her daughter is just as talented, smart, and strong. But it should be said: a strong mother will have a strong daughter. The relationship between the mother and daughter was very tense and conflicted. They are extremely concerned about each other's opinion of themselves, but they are mean and blame. In this case, daughters often provoke their mothers through rebellion, but deep down they want to please their mothers.
Yingying and her daughter: Yingying was betrayed and humiliated when she met a scumbag when she was young. She drowned her son with her own hands when she was in despair. Completely ignoring the existence of the daughter, the daughter lacks the attention of her mother since birth, so she has no self-confidence at all. She is committed to a strange, hopeless, and loveless marriage. Later, the mother went to her daughter's house for the first time after a few years of her daughter's marriage (!), and only woke up when she saw her daughter's living condition of complacency. This mom is so unqualified! Since the heart is dead and the hope of life is lost, the child should not be brought into this world! How many parents in the world have children without thinking about why? But since they are born, they have to be responsible, and the greatest responsibility for children is to love them and pay attention to them.
An Mei + Daughter: An Mei is a ruthless character. Her mother (played by Wu Junmei, who loves Wu Junmei very much, loves her looks, acting skills, and voice) used suicide to convey her courage. An Mei knew how to fight for her rights at a young age. But for such a woman who combines wisdom, courage, and self-confidence, her daughter despises her own value, and feels inferior like An Mei's mother, thinking that she is not worthy of the love of others. Her husband initially fell in love with her because of her unique personality, but after marriage she was willing to become her husband's appendage, causing him to stay away from her. Later, she got back to herself after being instructed by her mother, and her husband naturally stayed by her side. At first, I thought it was very strange, and I thought about it carefully: Aren't many women willing to give up themselves in marriage? No one even asked her to do it! Even if someone asks, a woman can never lose herself and deny her self-worth. Otherwise, a woman who doesn't even love herself, how can anyone else love her? It is an eternal truth that confident people are most attractive.
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