I watched "The Joy Luck Club" once a long time ago, and I liked it, but I didn't feel it.
I watched it again recently, and I was in awe.
The story is very large and covers a wide range, the conflict between Chinese and Western cultures, the mothers who escaped the feudal system and ideology but are always burdened with traditional culture, and the "mother" who is born and raised abroad but still lives under the influence of "mother" who can't get rid of it. of the next generation.
The part of learning the piano, "I don't want to learn the piano! You can't force me! This is not in China!" I don't know whether learning an instrument depends on beating, but I haven't heard it because I have never been beaten for learning an instrument. Well, the difference is how long to hit the multiplayer? Many people who gave up learning the piano later were because they could no longer play. After reading so many parenting books and doing so much psychological construction, in the end, I still can't move it and understand it.
I often think about what a healthy parent-child relationship is. It is not endless companionship or so-called love. I think the most important thing is patience and treating each other as human beings. A mother’s love is not an infinite alien power, nor is a mother an omnipotent saint. You must have the courage to face mistakes and failures, but try not to make yourself feel guilty and regret because of the other person, and deny yourself everything you have done. I also don't want my kids to feel guilty about me and make them feel sorry for not being what I wanted and not being what I wanted them to be, because no one is going to have fun in a relationship like that.
You laugh at your children because they are beautiful, and you also get angry because of their little mistakes. Parenting can become very emotional after a long time. You don't want them to be puppets but often suppress them to let them They are controlled by you, from their behavior to their inner beliefs. You drag the children who often cross the line back to the right track that you have carefully laid out, but in the end they still have their own hurts to bear, their own pains to bear.
The mothers in the film have all experienced a painful past. They hope their daughters can be happy more than anyone else. They long for freedom and strive for freedom. They tried their best to cross the ocean to the United States in that era, but they Still haven't given the daughters the freedom to follow, enough space, just like you and me. What the hell have we fallen for, and we are spinning in this vicious circle.
"It's all for your own good."
"How Would You Know?"
My daughter's words left me speechless.
Obviously, I don't know if it's for her or not, everyone is different.
Like all relationships, it requires careful management and so-called luck, just because everyone is related by blood does not make the relationship closer and easier. On the contrary, because they are too close and too difficult to separate, they will only end up with repeated injuries, and no antidote can be found.
When my sister was having dinner that day, she suddenly said that mummy is the most important person in our family, because we always need to calm her down, and my father and brother quickly gave her a look of admiration and approval (I wanted to flip the table on the spot and say you Mother, make it clear! I'm pissing and peeing...) Before playing the Famliy Game last night, because of something the size of a sesame and mung bean, I got emotional and said I can't play, I want to go back to my room! ! Dad and the two children quickly gathered around and started the mode of family comfort. Dad pressed me on the sofa, everyone took turns to coax me, my brother was rubbing my stomach, K was rubbing my face and saying that he was not good, my sister took my arm and said, "I know you had very stressful day", at that second I really felt that what my sister said that day was right at all, and the children are old enough to see through this.
Be a functional adult is really not an easy task.
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