After the 20th century of the 21st century, it will no longer be the era of romantic films, or it will no longer be an era of discussing "marriage" as the core of love.
In the 21st year of the 21st century, I was horrified to see this seven-year-old love movie. Can't wait to write this review after I woke up.
"45th Anniversary" has two intriguing points.
First, the subject of love written in "45th Anniversary" is a pair of elderly people who are nearly seventy years old. The portrayal of love in it deviates from the stereotypes of the "golden marriage" of the elderly that we (those who have never really experienced such a long marital war) often think of: boring routines, artificial warmth, long-term micro-entitlement cooperation with deceit ...
We are accustomed to thinking that eroticism belongs to all the love privileges of the young flesh: jealousy, possessiveness, conflict, immaturity, blindness . In short, it circumvents the love and lust that our society always refuses to admit to older people . In love, people of any age always appear so immature and demented, thus showing that ignorance and ignorance are a language of love. The love of fading, the love of wrinkles, the love of inability to get an erection , it seems to be an erotic barrier that our young and powerful society has erected deliberately.
Second, the jealousy in love written in "45th Anniversary" is second-order . This jealousy takes the heroine Kate as the subject, and his husband Geoff as the object to assist her in fulfilling the erotic desire. The object of jealousy is the imaginary ex (like ghosts, saints, never actually appear in the camera). This jealousy of a "third party who has passed away forever" is second-order. One comes from the sudden intervention of ex, which penetrated this perfect golden marriage that lasted for 45 years and formed a crack in the symbiotic relationship between the two.
Second, there is another layer that envy cannot reach - envy of youth. Kate's jealousy of ex and Geoff's nostalgia for ex are all jealousy of lost youthful lust and physical inability (the nostalgia and hatred of youth). If Geoff's ex is an old lady who is still happily living in a small town next door, then Kate's jealous object has the same physical form as herself, maybe the sensible and elegant Kate's jealousy will just laugh and disappear, because the old lady Wrinkles, swimming circles may be more than their own. And only if the other party is in the form of a ghost wandering in Geoff's memory (the attic of the family where the photos are kept) - Kate's "third person" is a "perpetually young phantom" that never returns , unlike The aging that Kate can only obtain in the passage of time, ex will become more and more beautiful and incomprehensible with time, and her beauty will become eternity because it is no longer traceable and gradually transcend all the definitions of worldly love; , 45 years of marriage is just a brief, self-inflicted yawn in the unit of human society's time measurement.
"My love for you is the human hate, because falls in love with a human can not concentrate on loving you." Love you with all my heart.) (Byron, Don Juan)
This line of Don Juan asserts very decisively that love is a communal choice, and places the object of love in opposition to the whole world. I want to be my lover? Or do you want to devote yourself to my collective? I can only choose one of them, and once I choose one of them, I can blame the regret I have lost for not having a choice on the object of my choice. What a childish confession~
The confession of this dualistic love implies that love must always go hand in hand with hatred, freely transforming, because the essence of love is childlike selfishness.
Selfishness stems from love being possession, and possession is always a form of expression that love is not the only, but must exist. (Although we always go to the trouble and deceive ourselves to use the language of "possessiveness" as "enjoy", "own" and "give you what I think is the best").
Lucretius said: Love is a game of possession.
Whether it's seeing each other as an "object" - I want to have all of you indefinitely (Kate, who has spent 45 years with Geoff, can't stand Geoff having other lovers before him.)
Or treat the other person as his "subject" - I want to continue to be a complete you (Kate keeps asking Geoff and his ex-girlfriend all kinds of details and feelings about getting along pain).
This is the paradox of "possession" in love. We know that the expression of love is possession, but the tragedy is that the existence of love always requires infinite possession, and ultimately the expression of love will swallow the existence of love.
"45th Anniversary" profoundly expresses the death motif of love - possessing blindly, being blind in possessing.
The 45th Anniversary story has a very simple structure. Kate, who is over 70 years old, is planning a 45th wedding anniversary party with her husband Geoff. Everything is warm and happy. Kate will define her marriage business winner through a ceremony that has taken her an extraordinary 45 years. At this time, a "third party" suddenly intervenes to break the perfect and stable relationship between the couple. This third person arrives in the form of a letter—a body—Geoff's ex-girlfriend who died in the snowy mountains more than forty years ago.
Geoff, like all "death is a teenager" , believes that the 45th anniversary of the marriage is strong enough, and regards Kate as a soul confidant and honestly confided all his love and regrets for his first girlfriend to his wife.
The delicate Kate in her 70s is calm on the outside, but her heart is already turbulent. She suddenly realized that the beautiful marriage of 45 years was like a hoax. The photo of the ex-girlfriend makes the calm Kate go crazy with jealousy.
At this time, the attic is like Pandora's box. The creator accurately captured the hesitant changes of a seventy-year-old woman in jealousy - how Kate quickly aged and dimmed in the camera under the torture of jealousy (the actor's acting skills are too good), Kate knowingly climbed the attic to find A dead ghost is an act of nothingness, and her intelligence and reason in her marriage made her restrained, but after two times she finally gave in and her possessive and jealous curiosity (wanting to be her lover indefinitely) opened up Geoff's love for her. Photos taken by ex-girlfriends.
The scene where Kate projects a picture of her ex-girlfriend on the rags is the best scene in the film except for the final dance sequence. Kate's eyes panicked, another woman's (and apparently pregnant) young free-spirited figure appeared on the little rags, two women who didn't meet, one in their seventies and one in their twenties, because of the same A man met at the crest of the wrong time in this small space.
Here, forgive me for boldly describing Kate's psychology. When ex's face has no specific image, Kate's attitude towards ex relies on complaining about Geoff, complaining that he brought a most disappointing secret at this most beautiful moment. And when Kate saw the face of Geoff's ex-girlfriend with his own eyes, the emotion for ex was not hatred, but an intimate recognition. Because, from the beginning to the end, Kate needs to constantly beautify the image of a third-party girl who is no longer accountable to explain the source of her jealousy . If Geoff's emotional spectrum for ex is composed of regret, then Kate's emotional spectrum for this woman who has never met before is to beautify the other party infinitely through his own imagination, and beautify the past between the other party and his lover. Jealousy is not a learned objective instinct. Jealousy is self-hatred. Jealousy is imagination.
Possession is a kind of strong love , and this kind of "all-for-me" love needs to stem from devotion at first, when it realizes the despair that it cannot absolutely possess, and is unwilling to choose the object of increasing love (such as Lucretius). It is said: the best love is the wandering Venus ), but also to avoid self-subject love being swallowed up, and finally can only move towards "fraternity" in self-consistency .
It is because we fully understand that the other party has their own freedom, so we want to catch them. This is similar to a love dictator , except that a behavioral love dictator tends to act as a love slave psychologically. In "fraternity", the subject realizes that all objects of love are mediums, phantoms, unspeakable phantoms, the sad hope that the moment of waking up will be gone with the wind in an instant. Lovers are unstoppable pretense, and we need the nourishment of phantoms.
This will probably hit anyone who doesn't understand (because they won't be candid) in the face of the movie. After all, when we are in a society without sustenance, love is often regarded as the first utopia, and human love and marriage are regarded as "civilized behavior" in the biological world, and this civilized behavior is based on hypocritical dedication. .
"The lover sees the possibility of happiness in the eyes of the loved one, and if he wants to possess the object of his own love, he wants to exclude all the happiness that can be brought by others in the world, and can only be brought to the other by me." (Nietzsche )
What a painful realization~
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