It has to be said that the silent and stagnant long shot is an essential artifact for rendering the depressing atmosphere. "45th Anniversary" volatilizes this oppressive and cold temperament to the extreme. The entire film is immersed in a misty and restrained calm, but under every peaceful texture, there is a razor-sharp emotion. There is no trace, but it penetrates the back of the paper.
This is probably the coldest part of marriage. If one day, you find in the person who is opposite each other day and night, that what fills the past time is not love and admiration, what kind of disillusionment.
But I'm not here to talk about love, and all the vague and unrequited visions of marriage. That is the most indescribable.
I'm talking about aging.
I always feel that Geoff's obsession with his first girlfriend is not just because of the "red roses and white roses", not just because of the unquenchable commotion caused by the "amorous feelings elsewhere", but also because of the unquenchable commotion. a confrontation with time. What he misses is not just his first love, not just "that one", but the most extraordinary time in his life wrapped up by the symbol "girlfriend", a time that shines whenever he thinks of it. Time, there is something called "youth".
In a long late-night chat with Kate, Geoff said, "Berlin was building the Berlin Wall and the Bay of Pigs happened in America, but when we were on the mountain, we didn't think about those things, we didn't think about our future, but with the At the same time, we are not aimless at all. We know what our aim is, how can we be aimless? Every day seems to have its meaning, finding a place to live, finding food, those days when we get lost in the mountains, it seems that The same purpose as when we set out very seriously at 4 in the morning. I think this is the saddest part of growing old, losing that kind of... purpose." His calm tone made people feel hopeless. . Yes, "purpose" or "longing" is the most fascinating part of finite life, but it is also the most hasty and fleeting, and it only favors the young body. With it, time has become Shaohua, beauty is inexhaustible. Courage, enthusiasm, passion, or the phrase "unexplained love" that I have seen since then, is young, self-willed, arrogant, and generous, full of desires that are still surging even if they are unattainable. Just like Geoff's reminiscence of their youthful years: "Wandering around and rejecting civilized society", such a seemingly idle and minimal life just symbolizes their youthful identities, because they are young, they can pose a kind of generous Attitude, reject the noisy city, reject the vulgar life. During such a period of time, he spent with Katya. Katya was the witness of his youthful identity. In her, he could always feel a distant but fiery gaze, a possibility of resisting mediocrity.
And these, Kate can't see, or, he never really "see" Kate. The long marriage made him feel the daily habits, the inescapable aging, and the fading desire.
The climax of the film, I thought, happened when Kate looked at the footage left by Katya and saw the girl stroking her bulging belly and smiling back. At that moment, the surprise, despair, and eclipse in her eyes stabbed me firmly. What a brutal confrontation it was. The girl in the image is plump, fresh, and smiling like a flower, and more importantly, she is giving birth to life. The woman outside the image is shriveled, haggard, and gloomy, and there is no possibility of giving birth in that old body. Child, she never had a child.
In Nietzsche, the child is a metaphor for the will to power. At the beginning of life, the growth of the body is precisely the growth of a kind of force. When this force is filled to its peak, it needs to be released, and the birth of a baby is this. kind of release. Therefore, Kate, who has never conceived of life, from the perspective of an irresistible male, represents the lack of power and the irreversibility of aging.
Neither Geoff nor Kate can escape the unwillingness and helplessness brought about by aging.
The 45th anniversary is enough to make everything so old that it has lost its echo, and it is so silent that it makes people palpitate. I knew that my lingering fear of old age would never be removed. It's in the folds of life, bit by bit eroding my body.
I remembered that I saw a bookmark between the fingers of a young man on the subway many years ago: "Please promise yourself a future where the sea breeze and tides come and go." Such a slight heartbeat is already too faint to touch.
I have gone through life without hearing the singing.
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