When I was a child, I liked rangers very much. Looking at Jin Yong's martial arts novels and "Strange Tales from a Liaozhai", those who are most attractive are those who have magical spells. Later, I read "The Story of Tora Jiro". It is about a small Japanese salesman who travels around the world. Like a migratory bird, he returns to his hometown several times a year to reunite with his sister's family.
At that time, I had a general understanding of what it means to be alone and what loneliness is in this world.
Alone ≠ loneliness.
When I was a child, I used to love running alone in the sun with a broomstick, directing and acting in scenes from "Water Margin", but I felt very happy.
Loneliness must be an unpleasant feeling. When I left Shijiazhuang and came to Beijing and experienced the situation of being discriminated against as a foreigner, I began to understand how the experience can be different for the same person.
If you find that you no longer belong to any group, and no one agrees with you, you have lost your connection with everyone. This connection is not a superficial communication, but that you suddenly find yourself and
lose your sense of belonging: leave your hometown, leave lost the
sense of control over his body: sometimes bullied by other boys;
lost self-esteem: scolded by teachers;
even lost sense of meaning: some friends need you and like your appearance and existence, such as When I left my hometown, someone said Lu Yue, you must come back...
At that time, loneliness will arise spontaneously.
If you've watched "Gravity," you know that true loneliness is akin to what it feels like to be thrown from a mothership and drift into dark outer space—a roaming meteorite. For humans, gravity is the foundation of our existence, and this gravity is called connection. In Marx's words: man is the sum of social relations.
Without the fetters of these social relationships, people are like weightlessness, or we are like an expelling shell, which is used to install the soul, and the composition of our soul is mainly composed of relationships. The most important of these relationships is intimate love.
Take "Nie Yinniang" after watching it recently as an example: this movie may be the best work I have ever seen to interpret loneliness. A friend told me that I often sleep in the movie theater, even in American blockbusters, the more the whole world is going to be destroyed, the better I sleep, but this super slow and boring movie , I couldn't fall asleep even though I was alive, and I kept my eyes open until the end, as if something was hooking me, a very depressing thing...
So what is it? Maybe loneliness is this kind of thing, it is an emotion that spreads like fog. You, who are in it, seem to have no other choice but to stay there powerlessly...
loneliness is to be a bystander in this world
"Nie Yinniang" is A movie that is very unfriendly to the audience. I think I am good at watching movies and reasoning. Basically, for brain-burning movies like "Inception" and "Terrorist Cruise", I can understand the plot at the first time. . But this movie makes me a little bit desperate - it's so subtle that it's almost impossible to fully understand the relationships of the characters if you don't read the plot beforehand.
This turns the viewer into a bystander in a way, like a half-deaf disabled person who struggles to catch the other person's voice, tries to piece together what the other person is saying, but can't really understand what's going on .
But this sense of isolation is precisely the first definition of loneliness: when a person's relationship with the world has been blurred to a state of dissociation, you have come to the "loneliness world". "Lonely world" is "ghost world". "Ghost" is such an existence. It seems to be able to interact with the world, but it is indirect. You can feel its existence, but you cannot directly talk to it.
This is precisely the identity of the loner.
One person told me that when she came home at night, she was so tired that she wanted to throw herself on the bed, but she couldn't sleep because she felt something was missing in her life. Did she want to talk to someone? no. She spends 10 hours a day talking non-stop with clients, with the team, with the boss... She doesn't want to talk anymore. She just needs a shoulder, a life with warmth to snuggle with her.
So get a dog?
No, because the dog wouldn't say to her after all, "Baby, you've had a hard day."
She looked at the hundreds of contact directories on her phone, but found that no one could "snuggle". "At that moment, I was a floating asteroid, and I had nothing to do with this world. When I die, who will care, who will sincerely hope that I live in this world?"
People, meaning body, we need to feel that we are meaningful to someone.
Why would we rather suffer than be alone?
Just like Nie Yinniang, she is also a very lonely person. What she really identified with since she was a child was not her own mother, but a more lonely princess of the Tang Dynasty. The princess of Tang Dynasty told a story that almost hypnotized her life, "Luan Luan Dances in the Mirror": a rare bird named "Luan", after being caught, it did not sound for three years. die. When the princess of the Tang Dynasty heard that her father had died, she also died like a solitary luan.
"Lonely Dance Mirror" tells the story of a man facing his own loneliness, a feeling so terrifying that we have to isolate it, and once faced with this feeling, the pain can be fatal.
"Nie Yinniang" actually tells a story about "attachment" in the psychological sense.
The first story: Once upon a time, there was a princess of the Tang Dynasty. Because of the threat of the feudal town, the father and the king made her "closer", trying to use the ties of blood to suppress the hyena-like local tyrannical force. The father and the king threw the jade in front of his daughter, so that the daughter would never think of returning to Tang, and the father and daughter would never see each other again. The princess also became the queen of the feudal town, protecting the country for her father.
The second story: Once upon a time, there was a sister of a Tang Dynasty princess, who was also granted the real name of an assassin by her father and king, and used the method of assassinating tyrants to protect the empire at stake.
The third story: Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Yao Qi, the lord's wife, who regarded her as her own daughter and betrothed her son to her, but for politics, she also made the same choice as her father - sacrifice. Lose the happiness of the "daughter". Yao Qi was deeply traumatized and even entered the palace at night and was injured by the guards. In the end, she was taken away by the second princess of the Tang Dynasty, the Assassin Taoist nun.
These three stories, like three reincarnation stories, are all about a girl who first has an attachment object, is then abandoned by the attachment object, and then becomes the attachment object's tool for her entire life. Love is instrumentalized, and emotion gives way to a larger theme—politics.
Attachment → Betrayal → Identification → Loneliness
The biggest difference between loneliness and death is that loneliness is the pain of living, while death is the pain of dying. But why are so many people willing to steal their lives? It's because when they lost their loved ones, they were given new themes and new meanings by their loved ones.
The two twin sisters were abandoned by their father, but fortunately and unfortunately, the father gave meaning to his abandonment - for the Tang Dynasty, for the people of Limin, and for the way of heaven and earth. This theme is so mysterious and grand that it is enough to contain a great sadness and enough to deceive ourselves: the king loves me, but he can't help it.
Giving up with no choice and giving up with choice seems to be more acceptable, especially when we can put a good halo on this abandonment.
But abandonment is abandonment, whatever meaning it is given, it is abandonment. Just like a man roaring that I work so hard to make money is not for this family, but in fact this family is already a hotel for him; also like a woman roaring that I work so hard to raise children is not for this family, but in fact she has regarded men as if Nothing for many years.
Just like a child, when she was thrown into kindergarten and watched all alone with other children being picked up by her parents, she could say that both parents went to disaster relief and rescue, and they were busy with national affairs, and they all went to save the whole country. The world is gone, but what she can't get rid of is that she needs her parents to take her in their arms and go home. But besides giving her parents a bright reason for not picking her up, what other choice does she have? runaway? Find another parent? She can only choose: "Mom and Dad love me, but they can't come to pick me up" such a fact that seems quite contradictory in a child's heart.
For our inner child, abandonment is hurt, which means that I am no longer the most important person in his or her heart, and that he is no longer the object of my love. This is a kind of defeat of omnipotence, and everyone needs to have some kind of defeat, otherwise we will all be narcissistic to lose the boundaries of ourselves and others, but if the defeat is too severe, it is a kind of extreme damage. How much will it hurt? It hurts us to have only a broken connection with the world.
This link is our self-deception.
"The Emperor's New Clothes" is not only a game for adults, but also a game that many children have to play since childhood. For the Nie Yin girls, their choice is to either hold on to the illusory umbilical cord or fall into complete darkness. Just like an orphan must imagine how wonderful his parents are, but just abandoned her for some unavoidable reasons, when she grows up, she must ask her parents in person: let this reason be true.
But most of the time, her parents just abandoned her for their own better way of life.
Nie Yinniang chose the Taoist master who completely turned her into a tool, probably just because the Taoist nun looked like the Taoist nun's sister. She can't become a killing machine, just because she has received more love than the Taoist nun and the queen. She couldn't kill her inner child, couldn't rely on the cold politics, it was too cold for her, but for the Taoist nun or the queen, it was the last warmth.
How ruthless a man can be is directly proportional to how deprived he is. When a person's love is deprived to a negative number, she will have to use colder things as a source of warmth. For example, the sisters of the Tang Dynasty, when they lost their father's love, they would rather become their father's tools, so as to preserve the last connection with their father.
Such examples are not uncommon today. We often see children who lack the love of their parents since childhood, and often when they grow up, they will give their parents a lot of love, and even become a blood supply factory for the whole family. This is the only chance for her to get the smile of her parents.
The greatest tragedy in life is that we have to identify with those who hurt us as the only source of warmth.
Many women who refuse to divorce, many men who dare not divorce, many children who have been hurt, many parents who are dragged down by housework... They are all like astronauts in "Gravity" who are struggling to grasp the illusory connection line , It seems that once you let go, you will never get ahead.
Because when we were young, we had no choice: the parents who just beat me were also the parents who fed me and clothed me, and leaving them, as a child, was a dead end. So a negative connection is better than no connection at all. Many anxious women would rather let men humiliate themselves time and time again, but also insist on it, because they are afraid of the darkness.
But Nie Yinniang made a choice. Her choice was to stop this cold connection, to stop being a murder tool, to stop having an emotionless relationship.
She has found a warm, mirror-grinding brother, and even if his journey is home to find a wife, she would rather follow him than face a world of endless murder where there is no love, she simply does A choice, where there is warmth, she will follow whoever.
Her choice is to let go of those dead attachments, give up the fantasy of children, and face loneliness itself. It turns out that loneliness is the antidote to loneliness.
In "The Voice", Wang Feng said a very important thing: because of loneliness, you can have yourself. And when you have yourself, you will find that on the other side of the darkness, there is another kind of life - a life with warmth.
When we face it, we will have freedom. Real freedom does not come from running away and self-deception, but facing. When we let go of those entangled connections, we can free our hands to own ourselves, and when we have our own Then we really have a new connection.
Loneliness can destroy us, or it can give us a new life. If you are destroyed by loneliness, you are a bystander; if you have a new life, you are an observer.
Nie Yinniang's change was just like this. In the beginning, she was just a shadow of this world. She didn't know how to return to this world. She didn't know where her world was. She saw that her cousin had a new love, and she also saw The happy life of him and the child, she has no place.
She also participated in this world for a time and became a knight who defends justice, but doing so also lost its meaning to her. For her, she has warmer things to pursue, and she has found her own way.
People's life is to take such a path of self-seeking. At first, we pursue the attachment, and then we find that the attachment is no longer reliable, so we pursue those eternal existences, such as justice, such as God, to maintain our inner security; then we We have found our own world, we have found the life we want, we are no longer defined by our parents or by this society, we have the sovereignty to define ourselves.
View more about The Assassin reviews
