When I watched "Ms. America" for the first time, I randomly clicked on a few clips and actually cried. After watching it in its entirety, I was much more sober. The documentary reviewed Taylor's life from the age of 17 to 30, and it also reminded me of the eight years of becoming a "mold powder".
This isn't a movie review, it's just my thoughts.
good girl
At the beginning of the film, Tyler picks up his 13-year-old diary, and the cover says "I need people to think I'm a good guy" and I want to be a good girl.
In 2013, there was a wave of European and American music in the high school class. I locked the singer who looked "the most European and American" at that time on the list of major music apps-Taylor Swift. She sang the very popular "Red" with bright red lips on her back, carried the red electric guitar very low, and strummed the strings all at once, with a bit of coolness in her gentleness. In fact, at that time, I didn't know how to appreciate music at all, and I was just eager to call myself a "mold powder" in order to integrate into the mainstream.
"Old Taylor" is "good girl", my "ideal girl".
At the end of 2014, the album "1989" marked Taylor's transition from country music to pop music. For the first time, she made fun of the media's accusations against her in a song and expressed her disdain for plastic friendship. This attitude is very cool.
In July 2015, Taylor launched a campaign to fight for copyright interests for music creators, writing publicly against Apple's overlord clause.
At that time, the powerful women in film and television dramas were mostly "masculine women", who had the ability to be equal to or even stronger than men, running successful careers or coordinating various family affairs. But I saw real female power in Taylor. She is not a beautiful Barbie with a perfect appearance, but a strong girl with an independent personality, daring to love and hate, and a firm and directional heart.
"Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane."
(My exes have more than enough lists to tell you how crazy I am.)
"I keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving."
(I still go my own way, keep going, never stop.)
I pictured myself with cat stickers on my face, watching Taylor walking the catwalk on stage at a concert, cheering with all the moldy fans, yelling "I love you!" and then bursting into tears.
After a certain chord, the "I can do anything" ambition suddenly ignited within me.
darkest hour of a good girl
2015 was the year when Taylor reached its peak. "1989" became the number one album sales chart in many parts of the world and won numerous awards. It is considered to be comparable to the Beatles and is one of the outstanding representatives of the music industry.
She cut her hair short and still painted her red lips. The typhoon was more free and easy to publicize, and she alone impacted the emotions of tens of thousands of people at the concert tour.
"My life was never that easy," Taylor recalled.
As soon as the screen turned, the documentary inserted a seemingly meaningless clip. Taylor was sitting in the plane, the plane was tilted during takeoff, and the tableware and food on the table slid down. She pressed the tableware with both hands, and seeing the meal box that was about to slide down, she could only use her forehead to hold it.
Taylor's life has been on the rise as he ushered in a "darkest hour."
“My castle crumbled overnight, I brought a knife to a gun fight.”
(My castle collapsed overnight, and in the hail of bullets I could only hit the stone with a pebble.)
In the summer of 2016, Taylor suffered unprecedented cyber violence. "I'm in this business because I like the applause of people, it makes me forget the bad side of myself, I've been working on it for 15 years, but I've had enough..."
I was about to be a sophomore. A year of college life has worn away the initial freshness and enthusiasm, and I have become lost and depressed. The sunspots on the social network used the symbol of "snake" to satirize Taylor's divisiveness. Her name was like gunpowder, which ignited the scolding battle in the comment area again and again.
Taylor has since been silent and disappeared from the public eye. In the fourth year of becoming a moldy fan, I no longer pay attention to the evaluation of her by the media, and only listen to her past songs from time to time.
In her 20-year-old song "ours" she sings:
"Don't you worry your pretty little mind, People throw rocks at things that shine."
She might have expected all this .
Queen's Return
At the end of 2017, I was anxious about the future, and my heart was a mess. I was moved by the chicken soup of "being myself" on the Internet all day, and I cried out in my heart: "I want to be myself!" But what is the real self? I can't answer.
Running laps on the playground at night and clicking on Taylor's just-released comeback single "Look What You Made Me Do", I was a little disappointed. Heavy drums, dark and eerie soundtrack, is this still Swift? I think this style of catching horses goes against Taylor's original intention of creating music, and it even means moving closer to the current mainstream style.
The cover of the new album "Reputation" is only in black and white. Taylor wears a metal necklace, tilts his head slightly, his eyes are sharp, and "Taylor Swift" is written densely on the background of newspaper texture.
She doesn't seem to be who she was anymore. She appeared in the public eye again and gained weight. Does the "ideal girl" in my heart no longer exist?
I read half of "A Brief History of European and American Pop Music" and pretended to dislike the excessively stacked pop elements in her songs. But she still tops my list of "Most Listened Artists of the Year".
"The old Taylor is dead!", she declared to the world.
I then remembered the low point she experienced in the past year.
After listening to the entire album, I was once again lost in her story.
"Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time."
She used "Look What You Made Me Do" to tell everyone that I care a lot about what others say about me, and I was slandered by bad words, so I used this song that's been brewing for a year to scold you blacks!
"When someone steps on your head, bite back like a snake!"
After listening carefully, I just feel happy.
In addition to venting her emotions, Taylor gave her heart to a person who shared her joy and moved forward together.
“My reputation's never been worse, so, you must like me for me.”
(I've never been so infamous, you must be in love with the pure me.)
“Only bought this dress so you could take it off.”
(Buy this long dress only for you to take it off by yourself).
Taylor is still the ideal girl who can write a moving story, brilliant and determined.
Tyler cursed, cried, and laughed in the ideal country he built with music. "I can't control what happens to me, but I can control what kind of songs I write." This state of freedom really makes me envious.
I can't wait to wander into her story every day and drown in it.
Rainbow Butterfly
In 2019, Taylor's new album "Lover" was released. The cover is full of dreamy and romantic tones like the songs inside. I seem to have seen the original girl who believed in everything beautiful again.
"I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want them all."
(I loved you three summers, but I hope all summers are ours)
She continues to write beautiful stories about herself and her lover, adding songs that express her personal opinions in addition to her personal feelings.
The second half of the documentary uses the new album "Lover" to emphasize Taylor's political stance. She no longer follows the rule that "artists should not be involved in politics", but bravely stood up and fought for the rights and interests of American women and LGBTQ groups with practical actions. Ignoring the manager's objections, choking out her opinions in front of the public, and using her popularity to win more support, I saw the most powerful woman I wanted to see.
I don't understand American politics, and the deliberate exaggeration in the second half of the film didn't impress me, but made me sober. From the moment of its birth, documentaries must be associated with certain social functions, which makes it impossible for "Ms. America" to be objective. Taylor's countless life experiences and discourse fragments are carefully arranged and combined to present the image that fans think they are most familiar with and want to see the most.
The first time I heard "Only the Young", I thought it was an inspirational song to encourage young people to work hard and be optimistic. Only after reading the information did I know the political intentions of "Ms. America".
There is an obvious clip in the clip of #Taylor tearing Trump# on the hot search on Weibo. The original video is that Taylor publicly diss the Republican candidate Marsha. Trump said that Marsha has done a good job, so he " Love for Taylor's music dropped by 25%". With the middle few sentences removed from the documentary, it's easy to directly link "Taylor's foray into politics" and "25% drop." Although it is true that the deep meaning is this, it always feels a bit out of context.
The film's sense of patchwork and deliberate provocation made me pull away from my emotions and re-look at Taylor Swift from an objective point of view. Music creation is not necessarily a career she will strive for her whole life, but it must be a job she relies on for survival; she does not care about outside eyes and media evaluations, but she also needs the official (Grammy) affirmation of her very much.
Tyler knows his lyric ability, so he uses his strengths to his advantage. Brainwashed melodies coupled with pop drums made Taylor's songs recognized by most people. When part of the public was moved by the lyrics that resonated and had a clear attitude, a large number of "mildew fans" were born.
I still yearn for Taylor's brave and forthright attitude and am blown away by her talent and creativity. I no longer desperately look for a "flag", I want to try to know myself clearly. Taylor Swift is still the "ideal girl", but not my "ideal girl" anymore.
There is no "ideal girl" template that always satisfies me in the world. In the ideal world I once constructed, Taylor's love for music, dedication to love, and rebellion against the world are my sustenance when I am depressed and confused. Thank you for the strength she gave me, for the moments that moved me.
I still care about what others think of me, but I will no longer be swayed by these opinions. I hope that 25% of my future self will be an "ideal girl aunt".
(The article was first published on the parallel public account in Yunnan)
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