At that time, I only thought that Aschenbach, who died following beauty, was romantic and complete, but I didn't understand his behavior, and felt clumsy and paranoid.
It is only now that I understand that the artist's creative process may be a realization of self-worth and pursuit of beauty. In their hearts, beauty is abstract and cannot be grasped. However, in Venice, he encountered the incarnation of beauty - that A young man, when beauty is truly embodied and materialized in front of his eyes, and cannot be described as a pleasant mood, or a sensual enjoyment, he feels a kind of shock and despair, and he thinks fiercely about it. The tunes written with painstaking effort simply can't compare to the notes that the boy played in front of the piano at will, because that is beauty itself, which is different from the self who strives for beauty but can only be infinitely close to it.
He felt that powerlessness, he knew that he could not achieve what he could, so even the plague could not stop him from staying in Venice, he went to the barber shop, repaired his beard, painted his face He dyed his lips red with a thick layer of mercury powder, like a male prostitute. In fact, he was just trying to get closer to the beauty of that entity. However, these behaviors seemed so sick and incomprehensible to ordinary people.
When he finally closed his eyes on the beach, following the direction of the boy's hand, only I can understand the grief in this situation.
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