time often makes us forget many people, many things, and it is the time that often reminds us of some people and some things. If the hard file of time cannot erase a memory, then what can make us suddenly look back in the red dust, and who makes us temporarily forget the present and return to the past?
April 1st, April Fool's Day, a day that is gradually accepted as a day to entertain each other with jokes, has a special meaning for some people in the crowd: On April 1, 2003, Leslie Cheung jumped from the Mandarin Hotel in Hong Kong. Going down, from then on, Farewell My Concubine became an absolute sound, and there was no legless bird in the world. The wind continued to blow, and there were still fireworks burning red dust, but Leslie Cheung had drifted away.
I'm not a standard Rong fan. Once a person preached to me, I respect the spirit of God's fraternity, but there are a few questions I can't understand, when I opened my mouth to ask, the preacher looked at me very suspiciously and said, "You just need to believe, just feel , don't ask why, faith cannot be judged." Many fans' feelings for Leslie Cheung are already similar to the simplicity of religious belief, I'm just a person who likes Leslie Cheung's movies, so I don't want to pretend to be a fan of Rong, I am an ordinary audience, On this day, I suddenly thought of Leslie Cheung.
The first time I saw Leslie Cheung's movie was Wong Kar Wai's "The True Story of A Fei". Leslie Cheung played the lonely boy incisively and vividly. The back of him leaving the Philippines is the most classic movie segment in my memory. Only Leslie Cheung can have that kind of sadness and unruly. Later, Leslie Cheung played again in "Fengyue" I felt this way once, but unfortunately it was a bad movie, artificial and gloomy, Leslie Cheung still performed well, but he couldn't save the moldy whole movie. In "Happy Events in the Flower Field", Leslie Cheung, a man disguised as a woman, is enough to make any woman ashamed, and the charm and style are very unforgettable. In "Breakthrough", Leslie Cheung's performance far surpassed that of Tony Leung, because some people are good at acting, while others are acting with heart. The strange thing is that it was Tony Leung who won the award in the end. When it came to "Farewell My Concubine", Leslie Cheung's acting skills have reached the stage of transformation. Every time I watch the film, I doubt whether he is a god or not. I even thought that "Farewell My Concubine" was an unsurpassable peak not only for the actors, but also for Leslie Cheung himself, which may have put a lot of pressure on him because he pursued perfection so much.
I thought later that "The True Story of Ah Fei" is Leslie Cheung's autobiography - not in terms of experience, but in spirit. This world has given A Fei a grey undertone, and it is so difficult to make it warm. He wandered among different women, and finally found that the warmth he longed for was so unreachable: giving or receiving He was frightened, I mean, frightened inside. He went to the Philippines to find his biological mother. In fact, he was looking for a reason to reconcile with the world, but he gave up at the last moment. Is it also because of a kind of fear? A kind of fear that he thought he could question and forgive the world, but when he was about to face reality, he suddenly found out that he couldn't do it, so he chose to escape and returned to his loneliness and uninhibitedness. "In the past, there was a kind of bird that was born without legs. It kept flying. When it was tired, it would sleep in the wind. It could only land once in its life, and that was when it died." Ah Fei is like a bird without legs. He flies like this, looks free and unrestrained, no one knows his loneliness, his tears, and he swirls between women after another, just like a footless bird resting in the wind, illusory and unreal. The last and only time when Ah Fei tried to land, ended in disappointment, because flying non-stop is an unbearable light in life, but returning to reality is also an unbearable weight - there is a kind of bird that is born without feet.
"A Feifei Zhengzhuan" is a film with an unbeautiful picture, and it is Leslie Cheung's performance that brightens it up. Later, I watched several Leslie Cheung films, some of which were vague and some deeply impressed. I think Leslie Cheung in the movie looks like a boy who hasn't grown up, but Leslie Cheung in the singing is an adult, or try to act like an adult, so I have always had a vague impression of Leslie Cheung's songs. I'm not a fan of glory, and I don't have the ability to speculate on Leslie Cheung's life. I'm just wondering: the charming Leslie Cheung and the decadent and sentimental Leslie Cheung, the beautiful Leslie Cheung and the sensitive and lonely Leslie Cheung, which one is closer to the real Leslie Cheung? Human nature is complex. If you have to explore some things rationally, isn't life boring and boring? So I'm just expressing an impression, not trying to get an answer.
From a vulgar point of view, Leslie Cheung has achieved success beyond the reach of mortals. Why did he choose to leave in his prime? Of course there are many answers, and everyone who cares about him can choose to accept the reasons he is willing to accept. I personally think it stems from his quest for perfection. Does perfection really exist? Many people comfort themselves when they are disappointed and then accept the reality. But Leslie Cheung couldn't, and finally fell into depression, which reminded me of the movie "Evil in the East and Poison in the West". "There is a kind of wine in the world called drunken life and dream of death. It is said that if you drink it, you can forget about your love affairs and end your past." Is there really a "drunk life, dream and death wine" in the world? Probably no one believed it, nor did Leslie Cheung believe it, but he still drank half a jar of Drunken Life and Dreams of Death, knowing that "actually 'Dream of Life and Dreams' is just a joke she and I made. The more you want to know if you forget, the more you forget. The more you remember..."
Life is often like this, reason is one thing, emotion is one thing, and choice is another. So it surprised us and left us helpless. Does the perfect Leslie Cheung really exist, or is it just a legend? Did Leslie Cheung, who pursues perfection, really leave, or was he just a joke with us? "When you can no longer have it, the only thing you can do is to make yourself not forget it," said Ouyang Feng, who looked like Leslie Cheung. Maybe he will also say, when you can't judge, try to accept it, when you can't accept it, take it as a joke, and keep moving forward and imagine that spring will come again and the flowers will bloom again.
Attachment: After writing, it is considered finished, because it is not good enough. There are many times when the article is not good enough, but this time I feel that it should not be posted. I watched Zhang Xiaoxian's "Time is the End of the World" by chance, thought it was right, and posted it again.
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