I haven't slept for four days. very tired. Every night, it is another painful torment. He stared blankly at the ceiling with tired eyes. Or read a book, and read the Bible every night.
The Bible-Ecclesiastes says: Vanity of vanity, vanity of vanity, all things are vanity. All man's labor is his labor under the sun. What good is it? Generations pass, and generations come, but the earth remains forever. The sun rises, the sun sets, and we rush back to where we came from. The wind blows south, turns north again, keeps spinning, and returns to the original path. The rivers flow into the sea, but the sea is not satisfied; wherever the rivers flow from, they still return. Everything is boring, and one can't say enough. Seeing is not enough; hearing is not enough. What has been done will be done again; what has been done will be done again. Under the sun, there is nothing new... The
instructor's experience says: Everything I see done under the sun is vanity and a chasing after the wind.
I feel like I'm going through another transformation. After each injury, it grows and understands again. The more one sees through more types of feelings, the more rationality and indifference appear. After the washing of time and life, I don't know what form it fell into. I don't know whether to be happy or sad.
Humans are emotional animals. There are many emotions. Fragile, simple, scheming, sensible, ambiguous...mostly vulnerable. As Ruhua said in "Rouge Buckle": "Real things are the most ugly." When she said it, she couldn't see her face clearly. "It's like a dream, like a fantasy moon, if it's like a flower."
I once put my feelings into a person bit by bit. Gradually began to love him. is his own father. Because I never got it, I started to hope at some point when I grew up. It is a cautious longing. The little girl wants to be embraced by pure anticipation. Of course, the real thing always does. Understand that it was abandoned from the beginning. Some things are always impossible. So, also gave up. Reminds me of a movie I watched many times. The man in the film, who also needs a lot of love but doesn't know how to love, finally finds the mother who gave up on him from the very beginning. He wants to see her. She closed the door. He turned away. There is no turning back. He said: "I just want to see her. Look at her. Since she doesn't give me the chance, I won't give her the chance either. Let her see me." He said so decisively.
Some relationships are shattered from the start. Abandoned for a long time...
Watch Su De's "Love on the Rails". I saw tears streaming down my face, and then burst into tears. Feel the pain inside. Sometimes, when a person is injured, it is not until they see the wound that they feel pain.
I suddenly remembered the boy I wrote last year, no matter what the name is, it is just a symbol, but that kind of feeling, when I think about it now, is also forgotten in time like running water. It is a kind of meaningless, but also a kind of bearishness, although it was once loved, it is also a kind of complex. This is a story that doesn't suit me, and now I think about it, it's a bit immature. But so.
"It's like a dream, like a fantasy moon, if it's like a flower."
There are too many illusory feelings, sometimes they seem fantasy, sometimes they seem real. How to actually hold it in the palm of your hand. Wait for the sea, or just watch the sunset, the sea ebbs and flows, and the tide rises. Life, sorrow and boring, nor I can say this little child says.
"Young people don't know the taste of sadness, so they are forced to express sadness in order to give new words.
"
Author's Notes:
In August 2005, it was my birthday. Write this article. To commemorate and remember this lost relationship.
It's been more than two years, and I haven't seen my father for a long time, so long that I can't remember exactly how long. a year? two years? or longer? The mother would sometimes complain resentfully that this man even treated his own children like this. He smiled indifferently and said to his mother, "What's the point? It's been so long since we were separated. Where is there so much hatred. Having hatred shows the deep love I once had. I have no feelings for him, so I have no love and no hatred. An unrelated person who just once brought me into this world. That's all."...I
started watching Annie's "Lotus" recently, so I watched Ah Fei again. Suddenly remembering the past text, can not help but calm smile.
View more about Days of Being Wild reviews
