Grete Duras once said, "If I'm not a writer, I must be a prostitute."
Duras is a French writer and a legendary woman who has moved through different emotions throughout her life.
In her old age, she wanted to reveal her unknown love affairs when she was young. At the age of 70, she published the novella "The Lover" .
Although the feelings in the novel are controversial, it also won the Goncourt Literary Award that year for its unique brushwork.
This novel was also adapted into a movie in 1992. Jane March and Hong Kong movie star Tony Leung restored the erotic entanglement between the French girl and the rich young master, as well as Duras's lifelong pursuit of love.
01 "Love at first sight" when we first met
Vietnam in 1929 was a French colony, so there were a lot of French in Vietnam.
Jane is a 15-year-old French girl studying at a boarding school for girls in Saigon, Vietnam.
His father died, and his mother ran a school to support the family on a meager income.
The eldest brother is addicted to drugs, and the second brother is cowardly by nature.
Jane didn't like going home, and she didn't want to go back to her breathless home when she stayed at school or went outside.
As usual, she took the ferry to school, but on the boat she met Tony, the rich young man in the black car.
Tony saw the 15-year-old girl with red lips and white teeth trembling, and took the initiative to approach her.
After chatting, Jane realized that he was the only son of an overseas Chinese rich man.
She didn't know what he was like, but she must have money and be able to help herself and her family through difficulties.
He didn't know her temperament, but when he saw her, his heart beat faster and he wanted to get close.
It was the ferryboat who looked at her one more time and started this relationship.
Every day he drove a car to wait for her at the school gate, went to restaurants to eat together, and visited Saigon together.
32 years old, 15 years old, separated by a whole youth, but also separated by thousands of mountains and rivers between hearts.
Knowing that there would be no future, he still couldn't hold back the passion and love.
Jane doesn't know what love is yet, but she knows that there are girls in the school who are prostituting outside, and she wants to try it too.
Besides, Tony is also very rich, so he is a suitable candidate.
The ignorant bad girl just fell in love with the rich young master.
He loves her, but she still doesn't know what love is.
02 "Love and hatred" in the interweaving of the body
Jane didn't go back to the dormitory that night, and came to where he lived with Tony.
Tony thinks she's too young and says you're too young.
Jane took the initiative to say, "you can do it like other women."
The 32-year-old Chinese man just took off the dress of a 15-year-old girl, this scene has been lingering in my mind.
He hesitated and said you were still too young. Jane took the initiative to help him take off his clothes and kissed his smooth arm.
A woman will never reject a man she likes, and she is willing to give everything for him, including her body.
But Jane, who still doesn't understand what love is, is only controlled by her desire to indulge, her eager curiosity, and her own ignorance.
Think about it carefully, why does a 15-year-old girl have no fear in the face of such emotions?
Because she is extremely insecure and love in her bones.
A person's attitude towards feelings can be seen from her family of origin.
When Jane was young, her father died of illness, and her mother had to support 3 children on a meager income.
She has never felt her father's love, and her family is still very embarrassed.
The eldest brother takes drugs, and the second brother is cowardly.
I have never felt the love from my brother and suffered physical violence.
The lack of material makes her yearn for money and a prosperous life; the poverty of spirit makes her feel a little love and fall into it.
So when she meets Tony who is rich and treats her well, even if he has three wives and four concubines, it doesn't matter.
Because she was never cared for, her family's signal to her was: You're cheap.
So she doesn't know how to cherish herself and her body.
She and he enjoy the joy in the interweaving of the body, numb and happy.
They know that there will be no stories for each other in the future, so they don't talk about breaking up and the future.
Tony said: You will remember this afternoon, even if you forget my face and my name.
While talking, he patiently wiped the liquid between her legs for her, and asked her if it hurt.
Fortunately, this man truly loved her, and shed tears in the struggle between desire and morality.
For Jane, below lust is a desire for security; for Tony, above lust is a begging for love.
Tony wants to conquer her body and rule her soul, but finds he can't be sure she loves him.
At that moment, it was me who happened to get out of the car, without him, there would be other men.
So let her tell herself that she came back to him for his money, and he just wanted to give up.
But he struggled in his heart. He wanted to marry her, but he couldn't escape the words of the matchmaker at home.
That afternoon, what they were lingering with was not the body, but the inexhaustible love and hatred.
03 years later "connection"
I have to admit, they are both sad individuals.
She came from a humble background and her family was embarrassed. She sold her body to win money and release her nature;
He comes from a wealthy family, is numb and cowardly, and uses money and sex to break free from the shackles of his family and seek freedom.
He wanted to marry Jane, but there was no way to get rid of the fate of the family; Jane didn't understand anything, and seemed to be able to afford it.
But on the ferry back to China, she burst into tears and came to her senses.
She misses the Chinese man who has been with her for a while, and she knows she has fallen in love with him.
The hysteria that night also made it difficult for her to let go of this relationship for the rest of her life.
She knew that it was Tony who influenced her and made her feel that she was not a prostitution machine, but also possessed the ability to love.
Tony still married the woman he didn't love, and Jane returned to France with her mother.
All kinds of tenderness rushed into the air, and when he turned around and turned back, people went to the empty building.
The twilight sunset sprinkled on the water, grief-stricken, but also abruptly stopped.
Years later, Jane also got married, had children, divorced, and then insisted on writing, and Tony also had a family of his own.
Occasionally, Tony found Jane and told her on the phone: " He will love me until I die. "
At the end of the movie, Jane was silent in her book room, listening to the voice on the phone.
That silence gave us the deepest thoughts.
We always say the saddest thing in the world is that I love you but can't be with you.
That fragmented relationship is a lifetime regret;
That sentence of loving you unswervingly is the debt of a lifetime.
But in terms of relationships, the happiest thing may be that we can't be together, but we have been in love.
After all, love is not your love and I can stay together until old age.
Like Jane and Tony:
I know you are a whore, but I still love you; I know we have no future, but I still love you.
This love cherished in the heart is also a kind of romance.
At last
The 70-year-old Duras recalled a passionate love in her youth. She calmly and enthusiastically accepted the approach of old age, and enthusiastically pursued love after love in her life.
Even if it is outside of morality, even if it is shocking.
The details of the original book are in place, and the footage of the movie is very skinny, so you can combine the two.
I hope we can experience a different kind of love life from a seemingly nondescript love, and find your own truth and romance.
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