Is it okay to be unlovable but self-consistent? Must learn emotion management, nonviolent communication, the art of language? Is it okay if I insist on loving and treating the world in my own way, in a way that others think is wrong and inappropriate and incomprehensible? I don't have to work hard to explore myself, can I practice communication? I will live a rough and awkward life in my own way, okay?
The above was written casually after watching two episodes.
After watching it now, I love this drama, but it's too depressing. Maine, where the story is supposed to take place, where winters are cold and gloomy and long. Can you imagine Olive in Cuba, Hawaii? Can't.
From Olive's point of view, I can understand her coldness and stubbornness, and my heart aches for her loneliness and pain. But at the same time, if I were just a bystander, I would probably hate such an unruly old lady at the airport, an ignorant and arrogant mother who oppressed her son all the year round but refused to apologize, and hated her husband with sarcasm. A wife who roars before she speaks, hates a social eccentric who is inappropriate in any occasion... How can such a person be likable? Even those who were willing to love her were forced back by her strong coldness day after day. Her husband, who loves sending flowers and cards, is probably the only exception.
I was desperate to peer into my past and future in these characters. Even when Oliver committed suicide at the end, I was so desperate that I felt that there was no way out but death. What are you still doing? The lover who has been with him for many years quietly left, the dog is old and dead, and the relationship with his son is broken and there is no possibility of repair. Seems really, there is nothing to worry about anymore. Realize self-worth? Have money and have fun? It's all bullshit. There is no reason to get up every day, and there is nothing to look forward to in life.
But she is not dead. As she herself said, suicide can never be dealt with cleanly, and it will always bring disaster to others. She would never intentionally hurt a child, that's what she said. So she hid the gun. In front of those three children, she was not the woman who had scribbled and failed her whole life and finally had nothing to worry about, but an evil old witch who had just finished enjoying her picnic in a forest full of yellow leaves.
Finally Olive said, the world baffles me, but I dont want to leave it yet. Probably so.
Has she found new hope? She recognized how harsh she was with her son and her late husband, and was willing to work hard to restore her relationship with her son. Maybe, there is always a reason to live. Dying is easier.
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