Nicola, a man with a near-perfect character in the film, is handsome, romantic, kind, and worth learning from almost all of us. And my favorite is Mateo. Because of his hatred of hatred, because of the delicacy beneath his rough and violent exterior, and because of his conflicted and struggling heart. Because he is so real. Yes, he was struggling and contradictory. Some people do not understand why he committed suicide. The reason is very simple, he felt lonely and painful at that moment; the reason is very complex, his character, his long-term struggle and contradiction. So, what is he struggling with, and why is he alone and suffering? Some people say that because of his integrity, he hates evil and hates evil. He saw too many things in the world that are not good until he couldn't accept it and chose to leave. Right? Not quite right, and even this answer may fail. What really led to Nicola's destruction was his inner contradiction and his disapproval of himself. He hates himself. I hate my impulses, I hate my loneliness, I hate myself for being bad at words, I hate myself for pushing myself into the abyss a little bit. In the film, when he met a girl and asked his name, he called himself Nicola. Why? Because he doesn't recognize himself, he subconsciously hates and avoids himself, he wants to impress the girl, he hopes he can be like a younger brother, so he tells the girl almost without thinking that his name is Nicola. In the end, the girl When he found out his identity, he became angry, he was not angry with her, never, he liked her, he thought of her the most lonely and most painful time before committing suicide. It was only himself that made him angry. I don't know if he was aware of it, but he knew it subconsciously. New Year's Eve, back to the warm home, the relatives play games happily, happy and happy. It made him more miserable. Because he found himself unable to fit in. How he wished he could open his heart and play games and New Years with everyone. But he couldn't. The reason is because of his established character. And the mind he had at the time wasn't enough to help him recognize and deal with the problem, and he might even be enjoying the pain. There are two extremes between himself and who he wants to be, how conflicted and struggling he is. He chose to flee. When he got home, he turned on the TV alone, ate the food in the refrigerator, and tried to call the girl he loved. The congratulations on the TV were particularly harsh, and the fireworks outside the window were particularly dazzling. When he walked to the balcony and looked out the window, he felt very tired, so he untied his shoelaces. He seemed to feel something different, so he walked back into the house and closed the door. However, the zero-point fireworks, congratulations, wishes, those good things finally defeated him...
Writing these feelings in the middle of the night seems to have made me very depressed, but when I saw the brilliant life, my favorite movie, I couldn't bear to write a few sentences, and I also mixed a lot of my own feelings when I wrote it. I think that many people have more or less conflicting psychology like Mateo. Sometimes it is difficult to recognize yourself, and sometimes it is difficult to change yourself. As said in the novel "Demian", "All I desire is to put the outstanding nature in my heart into life. Why is it so difficult?" life? Have a glass of wine, a glass of toast to the rising sun, and a glass of toast to yourself.
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