When I first watched it, I hated CJ's mother a bit, thought she was a selfish mother. And now I'm experiencing widowed parenting in a distant land, and I'm full of sympathy for Gloria.
Her husband died unexpectedly during pregnancy. After giving birth to CJ, Gloria lived with her in-laws. She is young and beautiful, with a dream of music in her arms. On a comfortable afternoon, she takes her children on the phone while playing outdoors, her naughty daughter climbs into the horse pen, and the loyal dog rescues CJ in time. The little daughter-in-law was severely scolded by her father-in-law. Everyone thinks that the dog is too spiritual and great. Grandpa CJ scolds it well, but who really cares about this young mother? Except for the in-laws, the responsibility that the father should bear has not all fallen on the mother? She was a little girl not too long ago!
An insecure young mother with strong self-esteem stubbornly took her daughter away from her in-laws and raised her alone.
Not every woman can be so talented that she can find a job with a lucrative salary at any time, and not every woman can be so attractive that there are quality men willing to go through fire and water and sincerely like her at any time.
How difficult it is to raise a child alone, and in the film we just stand in CJ's point of view and hate all kinds of mother's behavior. But doesn't she have the right to pursue a career? Don't you have the right to pursue your own happiness? The truth is, no. Resources are scarce. What should have been two people or even a Chinese-style set of four to six people has become one for one parenting, and the only main force providing parenting resources still wants to make time to pursue careers and dreams, and even want to fall in love again. Pursue your own happiness. How can you have both fish and bear's paw? You have no special talent, so why do most employers choose single mothers who often have to take care of children instead of other people who have no burden? You don't have the beauty of the city or the high emotional intelligence, why do ordinary men want to marry you and go home? Not to mention that your job is unsatisfactory, the child is rebellious, the man just wants to sleep with you, you feel unhappy, so everything is a vicious circle.
I also think of the rebellious adopted black girl in "This Is Us", her mother is also a single mother, struggling to make a living every day, relying on her grandmother to help raise her children. The mother is tired and distressed, and the child is dissatisfied. After all, we are not Mosuo people, we do not live in a matriarchal society, and even a matriarchal society raises children collectively rather than relying on the strength of one mother. What's more, we are now in countries that are not as high-welfare as the Nordics.
Now I can understand why those women in the past gave birth to six, seven or eight children. They had no education, no career and life of their own. They lived around their husbands and children, doing laundry, cooking and serving their in-laws. They were rough and simple, and they became blessed after middle age aunt.
Everything has a price. When a mother wants to study, pursue her career, pursue happiness and her own life, either she has enough financial resources, or the family can give great support, or she can only ignore the child or give up other things . We only see that the author of "One Step Forward" has a happy family and a successful career, but we ignore the sacrifices her husband made to give up his career and join his family.
During the Spring Festival of 2020, my husband was recalled to work, and my two-year-old daughter clinged to me like honey, and my mother called me every minute I didn’t see her. No matter what I do, she wants to participate and wants to be independent and "in power". Going to the toilet and sleeping with me is even more important. If I hide in the room, she will slam the door and call her mother, as if I did something to her. What a heinous thing. When I keep working out, what she likes most is grabbing the phone and pressing the pause button and taking the opportunity to ride on me. When she fell asleep, she returned to her angelic appearance, her pink face and long eyelashes so cute and charming. When she woke up and saw me by her side, she looked even better than her father with big eyes and smiling at me. Bingtang gourd is still sweet, only the person who eats it knows it.
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