I always think of the phrase "Maybe the road ahead will last forever, even so, I have to move forward, because even if the starlight is weak, it will illuminate my future." And the graceful figure of Miyazono playing the violin. For Arima, this girl who suddenly broke into his life represents the ideal that he never wants to touch again, as well as his vague feelings, but it is also this girl who made everything fall at the last moment and became Arima's second. Road wound. Originally, the story would have ended here, and Arima continued to be the boy who no longer loved the piano and continued to be depressed, but the last letter made it all have a fairy tale ending, shrouded in colorful colors, what we saw Full of spring again.
I know very well that there are no written scripts and dialogues in reality, and there are no unique protagonists who only need to take care of their own emotions and emotions. Enthusiasm wraps itself around, galloping thoughts in this comfortable small world, but rampaging in real life. I have never thought that there is anything wrong with this. I have lived in an overly traditional family since I was a child. The confinement of family rules and dogma has made me a good girl in the eyes of everyone, but is that really me? Does the surging unwillingness to be ordinary in the heart represent the outbreak and breakthrough of a certain desire? I know nothing.
Deep down in my heart, I hate myself for being overly mature and accidental, I hate myself who can make appropriate greetings and answers from other people's words and deeds, and I hate myself who knows what to do to get the praise of adults and what to do to get them. disgust. Until later, when I went to school alone, I used to be extremely happy in college and also had extreme memory loss, laughing or expressing displeasure in the face of the ups and downs of emotions, and the moment someone said it was low emotional intelligence and immaturity, I suddenly let go, as if I had lost my mind. The man who pretends to be honest with his emotions is alive. What if it's not that perfect?
Miyazono is such a perfect girl in everyone's eyes, and can even cheer up Arima, who lost his mother, to regain his love for music. I have seen too many children dedicate their youth to the piano room at a time when they should have been carefree. After ten years of learning the piano, many of their peers were forced by their parents to "play the same musical instrument".
I think of Zhang Xiangxi, who always arrived earlier than me and returned later than me. This boy accompanied me through all the after-school time in the first grade of elementary school. Metronome count beats. The elementary school music teacher is so perverted that she has to take the music theory apart to take the written test. With my little cleverness and memory, I teach the people around me how to count 44, 42, and 68 beats. He who is not good at arithmetic is the first. Once seriously with adoring eyes watched me disintegrate the half note. When he was in Primary Six, he entered the wind music class as he wished, and I took the entrance examination of the Ivy League Middle School on my way to higher education. The boy who has drifted away is no longer touching the piano keys. It took me ten years to realize that many people did things they didn’t want to do when they were young, mistaking their parents’ expectations for their ideals. When I came over, I only saw a blurred self.
Still, I am grateful to the boy who smiled and said goodbye to me in the afternoon sunset, the boy who invited me to his house to eat roasted sweet potatoes in late autumn, the boy who learned piano together and went to concerts and vowed to be a great piano The boy at home, the boy who told me to practice the piano when I failed the Olympiad exam and told me how bad he was in mathematics to comfort me... The boy who accompanied me through my whole country and disappeared in my life, The boy who realized late but has gone further. But the boy who has always been one of the best friends and can never be found again.
During that time, another girl, Chen Zhiyan, who accompanied me to practice the piano, didn't know where to hide in my life. I used to play Chopin the most, which I couldn't control at all, and she loved the prayer of a girl and then laughed at me for playing the wedding in my dreams into a "dream cage".
The fire burned down her piano room, and every time she came to my house, she always said that she envied me living in a halo and receiving the love of everyone, but it was not like that at all. The girl who is wrapped in love, ideals, music and painting is actually more inferior than anyone else, and her self-esteem that will be broken when she falls can't hold an ugly math test paper, nor her poor English ability, and she feels inferior and envies the glow of her peers. I can only find that little self in the piano room, talking about the romantic ideas and the tunes, which are tortured into weird blues one after another in my heart.
I can understand everything about Ma You and the unwillingness to be ordinary and lonely in music, and the happiness brought by music is like a match in the hands of a little girl who sells matches. It lights up the night sky and ignites dreams. She'd be addicted, her fingertips would jump and play the wedding march, then she would turn her head and laugh at me and say, "I'm going to marry Harry Potter later!"
And I'd talk about the Bad Street Kid's Play, the Little Star Variations Lamenting why I am not a child prodigy like Mozart, the child prodigy may not be troubled, right? Maybe you don't have to worry about letting the people around you down because you're not good enough? Maybe you don't care that others are shining brightly in the center of the stage while you are huddled in the corner in darkness?
She is probably Miyazono from my childhood. I used to work hard to become her or to be a lead musician like my aunt. The first time I saw my aunt perform a solo concert at the National Concert Hall, I was worried. The question remains: how hard do I have to work to be equal to you?
Still can't answer. I am still so ordinary, and so willing to be plain.
Maybe the road ahead is forever night, even so I will go forward, because even the faint starlight will shine for me
Yesterday, the teacher played "I Am a Cat" in the Chinese and foreign language class. I didn't listen to Yu Yupai and Natsume Soseki at all, but when I heard a certain soundtrack, I picked up my phone and sent a text message to the boss: "This song is The starry sky aria, it should be said that it is the aria that G dislikes...Alie~ Schubert or I don't remember it." After ten years of learning the piano, it can only be condensed into a few words, and I can't help but smile.
But this is me!
I thought, maybe "the moment of silence before the finger touches the key, is the moment of saying goodbye to hesitation and hesitation, the moment his finger touches the key, my future is decided." Where
I touched , The places I see, the books I read will be internalized into a part of my life, cast into my life into a comfortable and peaceful existence, and I never need to remember, because I have never forgotten. I know, it's always been there.
In fact, I've always wanted to tell you that I'm glad that April was the big lie in my life, and this joke made me more willing to face my emotions and emotions. I once said that you are April in the world, and I also comforted myself that April has passed, and that you left in April and returned in April. Turns out we haven't changed.
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