[BIG SPOILER ALERT, if you are like me and haven't watched this episode in 2020, please don't read on :D ]
Before 10 minutes after watching the last episode, I kept thinking about giving four stars, because although the characters, psychology, painting style and music are all very good, but the meme of "is this loss" is uncontrollably in my mind, I thought it was portraying male character's growth and development in the expense of female characters——The setting of Zaoxi (Kunsheng's mother) and Kaoru are people who understand music and really care about Gongsheng. people. Moreover, in the latter part of the anime, he also deliberately emphasized the similarity and overlap between Zaoxi and Kaoru. For example, Kaoru in Gongsheng's perspective only shows the lower half of his face without eyes. For example, Kaoru hysterically urged Gongsheng to practice the piano. There are flashbacks about mothers when they are born to the hospital.
As soon as the last 10 minutes of the last episode came out - bam, the last reason in my mind "need to give this anime four stars" was snapped by Thanos.
The anime itself is developed from Gongsheng's point of view. From his point of view, Kaoru is understandable. The animation is to maximize the impact of Kaoru's "lie" landing, and deliberately put Kaoru's inner monologue in the last ten minutes of the last episode. . Even with the deterioration of Kaoru's condition interspersed, there is not much to describe her psychological feelings from Kaoru's point of view.
The works are written by the audience with Gongsheng's perspective and "filters" to see Kaoru - bright and lively, slovenly, full of bright yearning for music and life, like every ordinary girl who likes to be as lively and handsome as her. Sir. We take it for granted that, even if she has feelings for Gongsheng (or feels Gongsheng's feelings for her), the author will arrange to realize it when it is "too late".
I was so fooled by the work until the last 10 minutes of the last episode - I thought her character was too bright to be true, her condition was deteriorating at an absurd rate, her setting was too similar to Gongsheng's mother , is simply a "tool man" inserted in order to let the male protagonist grow up. I thought her narrative function (Narrative function) is to bring her brilliance and stubbornness, crash into Gongsheng's life for no reason, change him, let him cheer up from his mother's shadow, and then be arranged to be inexplicably sick ( There is really no specification in the work), and finally he was arranged to die, and let the public grow up with his own death. So even when Kaoru's parents said to Gongsei "Thank you for making my daughter's life complete and making her withered heart beat again", I thought the "completeness" was too pale - it's just together The introduction to Rondo Capriccioso of Saint-Saëns was all the acclaim, how could it deserve so much thanks?
——If this is the case, then this work will not only not be able to withstand spoilers, but also will not be rated so high.
However, the "confession" in the last scene tells us that Kaoru is not such a "tool man". Kaoru's splendid stubbornness that is unrealistic is not groundless, nor did she accidentally bump into Gongsheng's life for no reason, nor did she appear to change Gongsheng's slump. On the contrary, this story of Kaoru's encounter with Gongsei stems from Kaoru herself's greed and courage to know that she is dying. Except for the days when Kaoru's illness forced her down, the face she chose for herself The characters in the public life are all well-adjusted.
The lie of her spring breath is to let herself, who has been shrouded in the breath of death, live happily with her "identity before her death". She didn't want Gongsheng to know that she was dying, she just wanted Gongsheng to see her for who she is. Her brightness is not only to make others happy, but also to satisfy herself, she lives for herself.
As for changing the trajectory of Gongsheng's life in such a way, this wasn't her original intention. At first, she just wanted to break her shyness and fulfill her wish before death. It was only when the two of them contacted and interacted that Kaoru found that not only his wish before his death had been fulfilled, but also that Kosei, who had been unable to get out of the shadows, was positively influenced by her. A person like her who looks directly at death knows more than Gongsheng from beginning to end. She knows what Gongsheng needs, so she provides him with encouragement and support.
When she finally died, the lies she knew well could not be pierced (so she often deliberately emphasized that "Du Jun is not here, so you can be his stand-in", deliberately concealing her love for Gongsheng), No matter when she was hiding her illness well, or when she couldn't help but express her condition euphemistically in the lines of "One Five Alliance", her existence and her life would not be long enough to cause "my life" to Gongsheng. The first love died shortly after falling in love with me" or "music takes them away"/"all I did was fall in love". The secret of "I actually didn't like Du Jun from the beginning, I liked you all the time" can only be revealed in the letter after her death.
The encounter between Kaoru and Gongsheng is like a symphony of black tea hitting milk. They support, heal and fulfill each other. This arrangement made me, who was "spoiled" before I started watching, Kaoru will die in the end, and it was still really hurt.
The whole anime, among other things, looks like it's depicting how Kaoru has affected the trajectory of Gongsheng's life, but the impact of Kaoru on Kaoru is also real - when she was five years old, she made her with a beautiful piano sound. Learning to play the violin gave her the courage to lose her introverted character and get to know him after her first illness (which happened before the anime started), so that she could continue to want to live. Before the prelim of the violin competition, the tears she shed in front of Gongsheng were not primarily because she wanted to cheer him up, but because she knew that her life was not long, and if she could not persuade Gongsheng to accompany her, she would die. And regret.
(I want to write fanfiction from Kaoru's point of view again, how tough and attractive the twists and turns in her heart are - a girl who faces death alone!)
From beginning to end, the Kaoru we see is a dying Kaoru. That Kaoru who is full of spring atmosphere, that Kaoru who looks nervous, doesn't know how to understand other people's feelings, and is too good at extreme operations, all this splendor and brightness is because she is going to die.
All April was her return to light. Maybe live fast & die young, probably like this.
In terms of viewing experience, it is indeed too young and vivid, too delicate and too painful for me, who is nearly 22 years old. Every inch of Gongsheng's self-pity, every inch of helplessness and PTSD is all too vivid in his mind. Kaoru's forbearance, perseverance and bravery are too real. I don't know why I'm in my 20s, and when I was 14, those fine and subtle emotions still have so many residues in my body, but I know that these emotions are very real, and they are really painful.
To be honest, when I watched the first 10 episodes, all I thought about was "Why should such a bright and energetic girl be arranged to suddenly fall ill after meeting the male protagonist and then eventually die, how perfect the two of them are, I really want to replace it. She's going to die", but after watching it I realized that I couldn't and shouldn't die for her, because she was already dying the moment I saw her (though she hides it really well); her vitality It all came from checkmate, she defeated her introversion and shyness because of checkmate, struggle like there's no tomorrow like a cicada in summer.
Of course I hope she survives in the end, but...the author wrote her to death, so I'll cry.
Then I cried stupidly, such a fresh but short-lived 14-year-old love would still move me (this kind of person who never graduates from middle school). I couldn't help but think about
(But after reading it, I think, ah, yes, although the British definition of "comedy" is indeed quite Schrödinger, but if the protagonist is dead and "comedy" is written brightly on the DVD, wouldn't it be plain and simple? Are you madly misleading the audience to ask to be sent a blade...x)
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