The movie theater started showing the trailer of Love Simon almost at Christmas last year. At that time, I felt that the protagonist's little brother looked too much in line with my point, especially the hard-to-pierce state is really like my own all these years. Experience, so I'm secretly rubbing the mark down and I must watch it. I was so busy with the work behind that I missed the opportunity to watch the premiere.
Today I finally had a chance to finish it, and I was deeply moved. First of all, to be honest, I really don’t like the twisty turn of the ending. I have a feeling of being caught off guard but very routine. In the cinema, a nymphomaniac girl yelled so loudly that I had no pink bubbles in my heart. . In my heart, the little brother of burger place won my heart, and felt that it fits the blue brain in my heart better-affectionate eyes and gentle words. There is also a demerit point that the people here are really stupid about love... No matter whether you are a man or a man, if others say that you are suitable, go to bed and you can really have the desire to try it, hey, wake up , This is not Teddy Park. Compared to Call Me By Your Name, which was released a month ago, there are some points in it that are really twisting.
But how to say it, excluding these, this movie really touches me. Nowadays, all the movies released in the United States have extraordinary special effects and continuous stories, but every time I look at the screen, I have a face of indifference. I have more than enjoyment of audiovisual and lack of emotional care. When the mom in the movie told Simon while crying, I really got goosebumps all over my body. Thinking of myself as a gay guy, I really couldn’t let go, and my eyes were moist.
Simon’s messages to the anonymous blue were all used by his brain-dead brother to shake on the Shudong website, and he was finally forced to come out. However, his family gave him extremely warm and tolerant, and his father even gave him a lot of warmth and tolerance. The gay guy who made a joke without knowing it cried and apologized for Simon. Let alone this kind of thing in China, in fact, it's not just a matter of talking in the United States. I still remember that my colleague from Texas joked to me that in a remote place in Texas, you told your dad that I’m gay. Maybe you would laugh with you and drink with you and shoot your head with one shot. A joke is a joke, you have to understand that the more something is chanted, the more it shows that it is regarded as the "other side" by the mainstream. As a typical good Chinese boy, he has good academic performance since childhood, playing piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, riding and archery, studying abroad in Silicon Valley and working in Silicon Valley. He has a wide range of self-sufficient interests. I originally felt that everything was okay, but he had reached the embarrassing marriage date. Every time I return to my country, my parents will ask to go on a blind date, and then there are always relatives and friends who keep asking "Why don't you ask for a girlfriend?" I believe I am not alone. I have accepted many different cultures in the United States, but they cannot be separated directly. Some traditional perceptions: I don’t want to tell others that I am gay, I don’t want others to think I am different from them, I don’t want my parents to feel embarrassed and sad among friends, and I don’t want to have children. But sometimes shaking the software (the gay facebook mentioned by dad in the play haha), there is another kind of unspeakable taste in my heart——I dont wannt just sex but Im not sure I'll take a guy to my family. In the compartment between the social person and the self, I seem to be a dual-interface system, not to say how tiring it is to hide, but if it is too much, it will still be helpless and lonely.
This is where this movie touches me. There is ugliness in it, but it is more about recognition and support. Simon did something to deceive his friends in order to prevent the informant, but even the girls who had liked him chose to forgive him. The scene of the two of them lying in bed was very similar to the poster of the movie "The Fault in the Stars"-like me Such a solitary person on the fringe of American imperialism, why not envy this youthful and tolerant friendship. It’s not that I don’t have friends, but I know some gay friends in the United States, but everyone has their own jobs, interests, and careful thoughts. People in gay groups are often sensitive and small-minded, so it’s still difficult to really have a heart-to-heart relationship. of. Looking at their pure to fake friendship in the movie, I really feel so beautiful, but unknowingly I sighed that I have not been a student for a long time. The word youth, which I desperately wanted to strip yesterday, has already been stripped away today. No trace.
At the age of 20, I have a boyfriend, a very cute and caring brother. We spent a period of time happily together, and we also have some memories, but we exposed this emotion in an accidental situation. It was a headache. In fact, we don’t want many people to know it-but when we were 20 years old How to understand that self is the most precious thing, always want to become the coolest, most interesting, most mainstream, and most successful in a group of people. In order not to be discovered by parents and not to be played with, the group said no, it is also Cruelly said bye bye. In fact, thinking about it now, it won’t feel a pity, maybe this is life, it’s just going to have its ups and downs, walk around and look back and start to summarize.
I am 20 years old and I don’t have the courage of Simon, who is 16 years old. In fact, I don’t have the courage of Simon at the age of 16, and I’m even used to making boring pornographic jokes with a group of men, saying "This person is so gay." Class words. It is not to spurn this way of life. After all, in social work operations and social communication, I gradually discovered that role-playing is a means to make myself less troublesome and achieve my goals quickly. I was sitting in the car after the movie and sent a message to my best friend, hey, I want to tell you that I am gay, I don’t know what will happen to you, and I hope we can still be friends. The other party replied quickly, really nothing, I think you are it, it doesn't matter who you like me and you are friends. When I received the message, there was no brilliant background music, no surging heart, no tears, and even both of us were in a very calm state-I was accepting myself as I was, and the other party also chose to accept this from me. Looks like, except yesterday I thought you like women by accident, the world hasn't changed much. After I said it, there was an unprecedented refreshing, that is, hey, look, this is all I think I am. I like you, so I told you. Then the other party said, hey, no problem, I accept you!
In the past, I could play games in Internet cafes without sleeping for a few nights, watch anime crazy, drink beer all night and never come home, cry and laugh, hug, make love, and send pretentious hashtags on social media. Now I will be after the party. I found long wrinkles in the eyes in the mirror of the toilet, and every time I return home, my parents age at the speed of light--I may still not have the courage to tell the world that I am gay, but inexplicably, I don’t want to waste my good years, I want to let it go. The person I love the most knows who I am, becasue I love them and I deserve love.
In the United States for so many years, like many other Chinese, I have become more loving the motherland, and I have begun to understand many of the so-called "traditional concepts" that I used to scorn. It's like one day I was drinking and chatting with my colleagues in Napa. The Americans said, you group of Chinese single children, you can take care of them when your parents are old. The three children of our family are too noisy to take care of. , If you don’t have a family, how will you take care of it when you are old, and how will you take care of it yourself? I watched a family of three walking by, thinking of something in my heart, not knowing what to say.
When I was super young, I couldn’t wait, I wanted to love madly, hate madly, madly intertwining the body with the plants and trees of this world, leaving traces, but after working, I found out how ordinary and fragile I was. I had to think about it. There are a lot of things to take care of, and we must learn to be mature and resist and be silent. So the more so, the more you can see the strength and beauty of the teenager in the movie, his loving parents, loving sister, and extremely supportive friends and school staff who give help. I don't know whether the young Simon will have the same beauty in the future, but he is still full of blessings.
The phone is still shaking, and my friend said that I hope I can be happy. I seem to have fulfilled a dream that I had a few years ago-telling my favorite person that I am a man who likes men. I don't know how to twist my ass and walk, I hate sissies, I don't want to go to a gay bar, I love a lot of things that straight men love, but I'm still me. In the winter of a certain year, my boyfriend and I were sitting on a train from New York all the way north. The window was covered with snow. We bought delicious hot dogs and coffee. At that time, I had a lot of little secrets and I loved to share them.
Tomorrow, I’m going to work again. I’m an ordinary worker. I get up early to catch a 6 o’clock flight to Europe for a business trip. I am scolded by customers and face the stupid white leaders. Endless overtime work and trash dinners after high pressure. , Fat belly, growing up is not a completely beautiful and predictable thing, but it may not be so bad. Over the years, learn to reconcile with yourself, learn to know yourself, and learn to open up to people who truly love yourself. One night's movie, like the spring breeze in March in the old lens, the cherry blossoms are flying, and the heart is really melted.
Simon, hope all is well-cuz you deserve love.
And I deserve love too.
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