In the school days of many people, there was a mysterious course in which men and women studied separately. The teacher was reluctant to talk about it, and it felt as if something was wrong. This is the legendary physiological hygiene class. As we all know, sex education in our country has always been lacking. The teacher's attitude actually represents the attitude of most people in our country towards "sex": cover up and avoid talking about it. However, not making it clear does not mean that children are not "curious". Children who are "curious" "explore" by themselves , so someone "makes a mistake" . The movie Xiaoyi is going to share today is about "teenage abortion", but the problems it reflects are far more terrifying than we imagined. It is - "Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always"
01 17-year-old Aoqiu found out she was pregnant, but dared not tell her family. She went to a small clinic, and the doctor would not agree to an abortion unless she was accompanied by her parents. So she tried to "solve" the problem herself. For example, taking a lot of vitamin C pills and beating her stomach with her fists, she hopes to make a life disappear in this way.
However, it's not that easy. Nothing has changed except the bruise on the stomach. Aoqiu made up her mind to go to New York from her small town to get an abortion with her cousin who worked with her.
For the two underage girls, this "journey" was not as smooth as imagined. They not only came from a small town to a big city, but also stepped into the adult world from the underage world. The subway staff, speaking like a robot, is blunt and emotionless. On the subway at night, unfortunately, I ran into an exhibitionist. There is also a boy who strikes up a conversation along the way, who looks like a sunny boy, but actually has his "purpose" in his heart .
In Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always, the city is cold, unforgiving, even "dangerous" . All the opposite sex are "hostile".
02 The opening of "Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always" is a school performance, and Aoqiu's program is guitar playing and singing. Her lyrics actually have a lot of meaning: He makes me do what I don't want to do He makes me say what I don't want to say Although I try to escape but fail because I love him Can't refuse his request Because he has the ability to make i absolutely love him
The lyrics take women as the first-person perspective and seem to be telling a love story, but this love doesn't look sweet. Because he is not a gentle object in the lyrics, on the contrary, he always "forces" her to do something. What's even more incredible is that even so, she still loves him because "he has a kind of ability".
This seemingly unequal love reminded me of a book - "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" . In the novel, Fang Siqi, after being violated by her teacher Li Guohua , told herself, "You have to fall in love with the teacher, otherwise it will be too painful." This psychological suggestion is not exactly the relationship described in the lyrics.
We were able to see the brutal truth of a woman being violated. In order to ease the pain of being violated, their method is not resistance, nor help. Instead, he chose to tell himself that he had fallen in love with the other person in an almost "self-hypnosis" way. Replace "aggression" with "love". This is a real dilemma that many people cannot accept but have to face. And what is ubiquitous in the film is the "maliciousness" of men towards women. When Aoqiu was performing on stage, someone in the audience called her a "slut".
Ao Qiu's eyes swept across the stage, and a group of parents and children looked at the stage numbly. There were even a few sneers. It seemed that someone had just told a bad joke that wasn't very funny. Did you feel terrible that the word "slut" appeared at a party at school , but no one thought it was against the law?
What's even more chilling is that after Ao Qiu's performance, he was not praised or comforted by his stepfather. The tender mother wants to defuse the embarrassment, but you can clearly see her place in the family—no place. What makes the movie even more distressing is Aoqiu's cousin. The same teenage girl, working in the supermarket with Ao Qiu, was kissed on the arm by the wretched boss every day when she paid. But dare not refuse, and dare not tell others. You can only "acquiesce" to this happening. When Aoqiu and her cousin came to New York, the money ran out quickly, but they had to use it to solve the hospital. So, the cousin stood up and took the initiative to contact the boy who met on the road to chat up, and betrayed "hue" in exchange for the next fee.
People can't help but start to pay attention to the cousin, this considerate cousin, who is taking care of Aoqiu along the way, helping with bags, finding places, shopping, and even trying everything to make Aoqiu happy. But in fact, she is just a sister. Her "smartness" is distressing. There is a very subtle scene in the film. Ao Qiu stands on the side of the wall and carefully pulls his cousin's finger. The cousin also tacitly let her pull. This is a very subtle, emotional transmission between girls. Although there is no dialogue here, you can clearly feel that the message released by Aoqiu is that I am here . And my cousin will feel more at ease. In fact, on the other side, the cousin is kissing the boy who once approached her. They must acquiesce to this happening, because only then can they borrow money.
The mutual support and understanding of the sisters before is both warm and different to this cruel society. This also symbolizes the sexual harassment that many women around the world often encounter. In the face of harassment, people often lack reaction measures, and most of them are forbearance. This kind of "forbearance" actually boosted the opponent's "arrogance" in disguise .
03 The highlight of the whole film comes from a dialogue between the heroine and the doctor. Because of Aoqiu's status as a minor, the doctor asked some questions out of responsibility. At the same time, in order to protect her privacy, the doctor suggested that the answer could be summarized as "never, rarely, sometimes, always" .
Doctor: In the past year, your sexual partner refused to wear a condom. Never, rarely, sometimes, always.
Aoqiu bowed his head, uh, sometimes.
Doctor: Your sexual partner is preventing you from contraception or trying to get you pregnant when you don't want to. Never, rarely, sometimes, always.
Aoqiu: Uh, never.
Doctor: Your sexual partner threatened or intimidated you. Never, rarely, sometimes, always.
She hesitated for a while, and instead of answering as usual, she asked the other party, why did she ask me this?
Doctor: I need to make sure you are safe. Your sexual partner threatened or intimidated you. Never, rarely, sometimes, always.
Aoqiu thought for a while, er, very little.
Your sexual partner has hit and slapped you. Or have done other physical harm to you. Never, rarely, sometimes, always. She was suddenly silent and did not answer the question.
The doctor continued to ask that your sexual partner hit and slapped you. Or have done other physical harm to you. Has anyone hurt you?
Aoqiu: Yes... Doctor: Only the last few questions left, okay? Has your sexual partner ever forced you to have sex with them against your will? Never, rarely, sometimes, always.
Ao Qiujing clearly began to collapse, did not answer, lowered his head and sobbed softly. Finally he nodded.
Doctor: I just want to make sure you are safe, and I have one last question for you, okay? Has anyone forced you to have sex with you since you were born, yes or no?
Ao Qiu red eyes: Yes.
In just a few minutes of questioning, we were able to see the life that Aoqiu had never mentioned. Those memories that made her feel helpless, ashamed, and hated were revealed bit by bit from this conversation. Ao Qiu looked tired from the beginning of the conversation, then began to lose his words, and then gradually became restless, his eyes dodged, until he was at a loss, with tears in his eyes. You can quickly see through her mind, and you can imagine how much grievance she has suffered.
Through this extremely difficult conversation of Aoqiu, it is not difficult to see that the fetus in her womb is likely to come from sexual behaviors that she does not want to recall, and these must be inextricably linked with the doctor's problems. Sadly, this is not what this 17-year-old girl should endure. The director of the film said in an interview: I don't want to make a gorgeous movie, I want the audience to really feel the unique background of these girls. For a few minutes, we see the restraint of a 17-year-old girl. And this kind of restraint also comes from the film creator's control over the script. From beginning to end, Ao Qiu's other half never appeared. Not even a single phone call. This setting, on the contrary, gives the audience more room for imagination. What the movie brings to the audience is more reflection, not only Aoqiu has encountered such a thing, there are too many "Aoqiu" in the world. They may have experienced, or are even experiencing, similar violations. Yes, we can also talk about "aggression". I don't think something should be defined as a "violation" unless something happened. But when the other party's actions go beyond the normal range and make you feel uncomfortable, even if it's just "bad" in words, it's actually an "aggression".
You look at those people in the film, the foul-mouthed stepfather, the supermarket owner kissing his arm, the exhibitionist on the subway, they are everywhere and disgusting.
In contrast, "teenage abortion" is not ashamed. What is ashamed is this already "deformed" cognitive attitude. The attitude of the male characters in the film towards women is "contempt" at heart, let alone "respect". Looking at today's social news, the incident in South Korea's No. N room, the death of Bao Li, a girl from Peking University from PUA, and Bao Yuming's sexual assault on his adopted daughter... The incidents of being violated, harassed, and abused are staged almost every day. There's more that we can't see. Because the parties simply do not want, or even dare not let them expose the incident. In such a social environment, women are destined to face more "prejudice" and "discrimination". "Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Always" is just a movie, and you may soon forget about it, forget about Auqiu. Just like the hot search, it is still crusade today, and it may go to eat melon tomorrow. You see, every time we forget and silence, is it not acquiescing to the occurrence of similar behaviors. This society has never been fair. There are still too many "Aoqiu" in this society. They need company, support, and resistance. It is also the subject of underage sexual abuse. "Carnival" once won the Golden Horse Award for Best Director. Director Wen Yan said: Thank them for giving voice to those children who have no voice.
This is the status quo, never repenting, doing little, sometimes indignant, always forgetting. For us, maybe not much can be done. However, every kind comment and comfort, every incident is not evasive, not ridiculed, not ridiculed, never cover up, never tolerate, never connive. It will definitely give strength to more "Aoqiu". Film is an art, a medium, and the tip of the iceberg. It allows us to see something, and it also allows us to know that there is something that we cannot see. In addition to being shocked, we always do something.
The world needs a better tomorrow, it needs you and me to make some changes today.
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