I heard that Chibi 2 has appeared on the Internet. I have nothing to do, so I came to see it. I have never bought a ticket to watch such a "controversial" movie. , I'm only willing to pay for movies like "Roman Holiday", "Hibiscus Out of Water", and "Titanic" that are really good value for money, and it's okay to pay a few more times to watch them. After watching the last episode, I knew that this film was garbage, and watching the next episode is just to satisfy my curiosity, nothing else.
The title of the film has a few big characters: "Fight of Fire Caused by a Portrait", I thought to myself: Huh? It's not Chibi 2! Looking down carefully, it is indeed more outrageous than the last episode. To put it in Feng Gong's words, there is not a single sentence that has been adjusted, and I don't know which three-year-old child wrote the script to fool the Chinese people. It is an insult to the Chinese people. IQ! Not to mention that it has nothing to do with the well-known Three Kingdoms story, just treat it as an independent film. It is full of flaws from beginning to end, and there are many pieces of bullshit. If you don’t believe me, listen to me one by one in order:
The opening is a Cuju competition, and there are Strongman's Quotations: "I come to see Chibi, show me Chinese football?" - Failure! Chibi 2 is doomed to fail like Chinese football! A fool can play better than others, the national football team is not as good as a fool, so can't rush to Asia? There was actually a minister who gave Cao Cao a beard and a horse: "Since the Prime Minister ordered to practice Cuju, the physique of these boys is getting better and better." According to the director's concept, Cuju practice seems to be more intense than the military training of hand-to-hand fighting. Cuju physique just got better. . . . . . Then what kind of troops were sent to fight Chibi? Just send a Cuju team to play the game. Whoever gets the most will be in charge. It is fair, international, and promotes the theme of peace!
Zhou Yu began to analyze the battle situation: "We must concentrate all the elites and attack their strongest places!" Is this the battle of gentlemen? Or the battle of SB? 5W vs 80W, if you can win so head-to-head, what's the reason? Zhou Yu kept emphasizing that it is a battle of gentlemen, and it must be fair! Then why do you still use such "low-level methods" of fire attack? Why are you still framing the innocence of Cai and Zhang? You actually fought 1v1 heads up? Luo Guanzhong is a pro-Liu faction, and John Woo is definitely a pro-Wu faction, because both have the word "Wu"!
Zhou Yu further analyzed: "Cao Cao underestimates the enemy, never expected that we would dare to fight a water war!" It's a big joke in the world, 5W vs 80W, with such a huge disparity in strength, who would dare to take this battle without the natural danger of the Yangtze River? Soochow has no choice at all, water battle is the only way out! This is something that the traitor Cao Cao knows with his toes! According to the logic of the film, Cao Cao, who is not good at water warfare, was just afraid of water warfare so he took the land route to create the first episode of Chibi. After the failure, he had to reuse Cai Mao and Zhang Yun to prepare for the water army, and was forced to fight against Soochow on the water! How could he "couldn't have imagined that Soochow would dare to fight a water war"? It's okay to be stupid, Old Wu, and Zhou Yu is just as stupid as you!
When Cao Cao got the right time, Sun Quan got the land, what did Liu Bei get? People and! Apart from crying, Liu Bei's only advantage is to win people's hearts with benevolence and righteousness. This is the only reason why Guan Zhang Zhao and his soldiers follow him! Think about it, a rogue who doesn't even have a base, will you flee with him everywhere? But how could he dare to risk the world's great infidelity? Also abandoned the top military division that Sangu Maolu had worked so hard to earn? Can someone as cunning as Cao Cao believe it? If even Cao Cao believed it, did Old Wu think that the 2W soldiers who followed Liu Bei would also believe it, and Liu Bei's morale would definitely drop to 0! What is morale? Morale is the key to influencing a battle! The morale is gone, and the soldiers will flee too much even if they don't die of illness. Later in the film, the righteous brother Guan Zhang Zhaoyun also proposes to break up with Liu Bei, let alone the soldiers? Moreover, Liu Bei and Zhou Yu privately negotiated a fake retreat. Did Sun Quan and Kong Ming know about it? In the film, it is obvious that he did not know, so it is strange, why did Liu Bei believe Zhou Yu first without asking the top military adviser?
In the film, Cao Cao mentioned more than once that he could split the ship. It seemed that splitting the ship would break Wu's military plan, but he was burned by Soochow in the end. There is no difference between the division and the difference. Is this superfluous?
The commander led 1,000 people to watch Huanzhu Gege climb down the wall that should not be climbed, but no one was suspicious. They deserved to be led by a rice bucket, and let them play around the whole camp like no one else. ", I don't know what the other "Thousand Commanders" and "Ten Thousand Commanders" are doing? I think it's not that Cao Cao, who was killed by Jiang Gan, is stupid, but that all the generals and soldiers from Cao Cao's army are stupid, so Cao Cao will be defeated! And what's wrong with two big men playing? Play "Ride High"? Might as well play "Chicken Chicken"!
Yu Liang is fighting wits, the grass boat borrowing arrows and countermeasures are basically secrets that cannot be leaked. The two sides should not know each other, otherwise they will pretend to be family wine (playing Brokeback Mountain)? But Zhou Yu actually leaked the secret to Jiang Gan: Zhuge Liang was in charge of making arrows, and "friends from Jiangbei" couldn't help because "there are more important things to do (to kill Cao Cao)", but Jiang Gan happened to "misheard" and thought it was "Jiangbei's friend" can not only help Liang get arrows, but also get Cao Cao's head; and Liangliang also has a good heart for Yuyu, and secretly puts back an arrow boat to frame Cai Zhang, in order to cooperate with Zhou Yu's countermeasures. Liangliang and Yuyu succeeded in creating the so-called "serial plan" without knowing each other, which is really superhuman, enough to make Fengchu vomit blood! I guess it must be that the two of them studied diligently when they were children, and they both "know a little" about the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, so they also "know a little" and cooperate when they don't know the situation. There are also 2 letters here: the subordinates reported that Cai Mao and Zhang Yun "letter said" Cao Cao's head is not easy to handle, but Zhou Yu said "you underestimate them", they sent another letter, the letter belongs to Xia Dawei said with confidence, "That's great." It can be seen that Zhou Yu's sleeve is at least the second letter. When Jiang Gan pirated the letter, the content of the second letter was clearly the first surrender. In other words, this should be the first time that Cai Zhang "collaborated with the enemy", so what is the first time that Zhou Yu's so-called Cai Zhang, who said that Cao Cao's head is not easy to deal with, wrote it? I can't figure it out, Jiang deserved the bad luck, and he didn't understand the relationship, so he went back to report. . . . .
In the fog, since one of the 10W arrows could reach Lu Su, we have every reason to believe that there will be another 1/10W chance to shoot Kong Ming or Lu Su. Just like the eyes, they only pierce straw men, not living people, and they only pierce boats, not into the river, because Cai Mao and Zhang Yun explained that they shot a 10W arrow, and Kong Ming reported that he had received a 10W arrow, which means that none of the 10W arrows fell into the river. I really admire Cao Cao's elite archers, who can achieve the state of "no arrows are missed", but the strange thing is that the ship that floated back to Cao's camp is enough to prove that Cai Mao and Zhang Yun "collaborated with the enemy" on the arrow ship. I'm afraid there will be 5,000 arrows, I don't know where the arrows come from? This "unnecessary" arrow led to Cai Mao and Zhang Yun's "unnecessary" crime, which is really wrong! What is even more strange is that during the winter festival, the northwest wind is blowing, and the water of the Yangtze River should flow east. How did this unmanned arrow ship float back to Caoying on the northwest bank? Could it be that our old Wu also has the ability of Kong Ming, and secretly borrowed Dongfeng to play? If Zhou Yu and Xiao Qiao knew that there was an east wind at this time, are you afraid not to vomit blood to death?
Cao Cao seemed to have seen through Yu Liang's "tricky trick" to provoke him, he laughed and said to his subordinates, "Do you think I'm crazy?", but after giving Jiang Qian a poisonous drink, he immediately re-took the trick, "The madness is over. Now", ordered to take Chibi within 2 days, the truth is true, the falsehood is true, Cao Cao is indeed a generation of heroes, I can't understand what he is thinking!
For the first time, Cao Cao used a three-year tax cut to boost morale. This is an unknown teacher, a teacher of aggression, and there are brave men under the reward, which can indeed increase morale. But the second time before launching the general attack to boost morale, it seemed that he went home earlier to reunite with his relatives and other reasons. I saw Cao Cao said "ideal" with tears and sincerity, as if his country had been invaded and his mother had been ravaged. I don't know what it means to return to my hometown with the enemy's soil, I just thought: "Fuck, as long as you order to stop the invasion, can't you be reunited with your old lady right away?" Inexplicably moved, the morale is high, this group of people is really stupid, they were fooled by Cao thief a few times, and they lost their lives, 80W, not one left! ! !
Huanzhu Gege's escape triggered a conflict between the Cuju team (there should be thousands of people) and the soldiers on duty, spies + back fights in the nest, such a major incident, it is not a matter of being investigated, and in the end, Cao Cao didn't know about it. Love, it's unbelievable! This is a major event that may be turned into a plan in any war! And Gege's escape was too fake, and he was able to walk over the wall from the soldiers watching the fun. I heard that Sun Shangxiang was also a hero of women's middle school who was good at riding and archery. Since the defense was so lax, why not just assassinate Cao Cao? Even if you can't make a sneak attack, you can outsmart it. For example, when you take off your clothes and offer a picture, you can finally take out a dagger from your bra and stab it. Cao Cao is so lustful, he will definitely die! It is estimated that Lao Wu did not want to make a martial arts film such as "Gege Assassinate Cao", which was neither gimmicky nor profitable, so it was not approved, and Cao Cao was able to escape for the first time.
Huanzhu Gege wore Cao Jun's small soldier uniform, not only in the Cao camp unimpeded, but also freely in and out of Soochow. After diving back to Soochow on the eve of the "Winter Festival", she couldn't wait to take off her coat in front of many men, and pulled out a volume of the so-called Cao Jun camp map. Did you take a shower? Taking a closer look at Gege's expression, it is not difficult to infer from the winks thrown, that there must be someone she loves among this bunch of men, so she wears a navel bra (the apron doesn't seem to show the navel) proudly showing off her results to her concubine and Body, but also kept shouting "I'm not cold" refused to wear clothes. I think Xiao Qiao also wears a swimsuit and swims across the river in winter, and still doesn't fascinate Cao Cao? Not fascinated, but also distressed! Not distressed to death but also moved to death! Save the tea!
The Jiangdong think tank decided to use fire only on the day of the attack. How many fish can be used to extract dozens of barrels of fish oil and where the fish came from? We will not investigate, but the earth bomb was successfully developed and mass-produced until it was put into use at night. It took 1 day, the efficiency of this little Japan is really high! In time for the Great Leap Forward period, wood was used to make steel! But I'm wondering how many eggshells it takes to make dozens or hundreds of bombs? The egg white and yolk must have been reserved for the soldiers for dinner, but it seems that they ate glutinous rice balls that day. Could they be glutinous rice balls wrapped in eggs?
"Winter Festival" eating dumplings, seems to be the first time I heard, whether this is the winter solstice or the Lantern Festival, I do not know. But what Liu Bei had in his hand was stuffed, apparently it was the glutinous rice balls eaten only on the Lantern Festival, not the winter solstice pills eaten in a very small number of areas (Chaoshan) during the winter solstice. Since Lao Wu used Liu Bei's mouth to say that "some traditional festivals are still very meaningful", then as a senior Chinese, why should he confuse the famous Chinese traditional festivals with foreigners here? Obviously, it was rigged to reflect the meaning of reunion, and at all costs (more than once) for the effect of the film, not only does it make people feel that old Wu Qian is poor, but he also feels that he has no professional ethics! I think that Zhou Yu is also a famous general in Jiangdong, and his popularity is naturally higher than Li Yuchun, so nearly 10 generals wished each of them a glutinous rice dumpling to Zhou Yu. , really proud and dry cloud ah! Zhou Yu's mouth is as broad as his heart! Why not just throw the bowl on the ground to show pride and determination? The bowls were unfortunately taken back by the director one by one, and Lao Wu finally began to take into account the high cost of film production!
As the war was imminent, Huang Gai asked the soldiers of Soochow Wu: Have you all written letters to the family? Answer: Yes! As a result, everyone took out the letter, tore it up, and threw it away, which made me puzzled. What does this mean? A suicide note? Why don't you take it up and show it to your relatives? Or do you mean to fight to the death? If that's the case, isn't this bridge too naive? It's better to drop the bowl after eating dumplings directly and happily!
Xiao Qiao ran to make tea and drink Cao Cao to delay the time. If she was seen by the stupid thief in the crazy stone, she would definitely be scolded to death: What are you doing for that? Wouldn't it be over just to take some medicine? Do you know that there is poison in the tea? Poison Cao Cao! For your Zhou Lang, for your beautiful Dongwu Jiangshan, and for your Jiangdong elders! He's a beautiful person, let alone Cao Cao is not suspected of being poisonous, even if he knows it's poisonous, he will drink it? He's so lustful, isn't he? The ideal of catching the thief and the king must have been trained by Zhou Lang for a long time, right? Wouldn't this be an excellent strategy to win without a fight? Don't you need to delay the time by putting a coup? Just know that you SB read a few books of the Three Kingdoms, and you have to play with the fire of Chibi. Unfortunately, Cao Cao was able to escape from the dead under Lao Wu for the second time!
It seems that Zhou Yu cherished his subordinates and did not accept Huang Gai's bitter plan. Huang Gai had to take advantage of the southeast wind to force the fireboat across the Yangtze River. This is bitter! Fortunately, Cao Cao was forcibly set on fire with modern firearms. From the time the enemy ship was discovered to the time it was set on fire, Cao Cao's men neither sent small boats to intercept Huang Gai's mere 10 fire boats, nor did they separate the ships. Really SB to the extreme! If I were Cao Cao, I would separate and discard the first 100 of the 2000 warships regardless of whether he was on fire or not, to cut off the source of the fire, and then let the 70-odd soldiers in the back spit out Sun Liu's 5W soldiers (Liu 2W, Sun 3W, and others). The so-called "heavy soldiers") drowned! Alas, born out of time! If I was really Cao Cao, then the little beauty who sent her to the door and wanted to escape from my clutches? I launched a large army invasion for her, and now I got it without sending a single soldier, why don't I go first? Anyway, Lao Tzu is famous for being quick, and humiliating Zhou Yu before going to the battle might even lower the opponent's morale!
Here it is necessary to analyze the three necessary conditions for the Chibi fire battle:
1. The battleships are chained together, and the fire can spread to all the warships with only one ignition;
2. The east wind and convenience, only burn the enemy and not yourself;
3. Set the enemy ship on fire without being stopped by the enemy.
If you understand these three points, you will be eligible to shoot Chibi! First of all, the chain of Cao Cao's warships originally met the first point, but since Lao Wu allowed him to split the ships, it was enough to crack the fire attack! But the old Wu Qian was so poor that he did not allow Cao Cao to make a decision, so there was no difference between dividing it or not; secondly, since the northwest wind was fixed on the winter night and turned to the southeast when it was ugly, it didn't matter whether Cao Cao dispatched troops on time or not! Xiao Qiao only delayed him for a cup of tea, and that was exactly what saved him! Why? Just imagine that Cao Cao launched a fire attack early with a cup of tea (Cao Cao's fire attack was arranged by the director, I have nothing to say), when the northwest wind suddenly changed to the southeast wind, that is, when the fighter changed! Can a cup of tea kung fu kill all the Soochow soldiers? If not, then Cao Cao is playing with fire and setting himself on fire! So it doesn't matter whether Xiao Qiao goes to Cao Ying or not, because when to attack and how to attack Lao Wu has long been stipulated for Cao Cao! Third, if there is no fire, the fire cannot be lit. In the original book, Zhou Yu beat Huang Gai in order to shorten the ignition distance, and quickly ignite the fire when Cao Cao was caught off guard and could not send troops to intercept. Now Huang Gai is making a lot of fanfare, and abruptly drives the ship to set it on fire. Cao Cao's men are so stupid that they will not send troops to intercept or sink the enemy ship when they find out. I have nothing to say. Cao Cao was not defeated by a cup of tea, but by too stupid!
The scuffle scene looks pretty good, but Gan Xing's "sacrifice to bomb the bunker" is a bit of a déjà vu! Among the enemy soldiers, the generals really fought one hundred against one hundred, attacking on the left and killing on the right, as if they were in a no-man's land! Old Wu fully adheres to the characteristics of modern online games that a thousand troops are easy to obtain and one general is hard to find, and gives generals high defense, high blood and high evasion. The soldiers were all killed with one arrow, Zhao Yun, Zhou Yu, Huang Gai, Zhang Fei, Gan Xing, etc., there were several arrows, and the blood was thick! Soldiers have no resistance when they encounter typhoid fever. Prime ministers like Cao Cao can help typhoid patients without a mask, and they dare to hold a handful of soil that may carry bacteria. Do you know why not? Avoid high chanting!
There is a very funny scene. Liu Bei grabbed the long handle of a hair stone carriage. The weight of the flint + Liu Bei's weight still couldn't stop the long handle from rising slowly. Brother Guan saw it and immediately came up and swept the flint down the hair stone carriage. , I saw that the hair stone car suffered a sudden loss of weight, and only Liu Bei's weight remained. The following pictures were not played, and I don't know if Liu Bei was launched? Another stone car is even more strange. The rope was cut by Zhao Yun, and the flint lost its tension and not only did not launch, but fell and hit the enemy's head. This kind of anti-natural and anti-physical phenomenon originally appeared in the Three Kingdoms!
It's really unfair that the rice bucket died. I originally only went to Caoying to eat food. I didn't expect to be shot by Wu Jun in the close-to-hand combat with bayonets. ! At such a close distance, through Huanzhugege's face, swish, swish, swish, three arrows hit the chest! Or how about Kong Ming's invention of this repeating crossbow is so powerful that it has the special effects of a modern B46 sniper rifle? That shooter is a master of art and audacity. The thing he just invented can be practiced so accurately, and he is not afraid of shooting old sister Sun Quan. . Poor Huanzhu Gege stayed by her first love until the end of the battle. No random arrows were shot at her, and no enemy soldiers came to trouble her.
In fact, when Cao Cao and Zhou Yu faced off with two swords, all the soldiers of Cao Cao and Soochow disappeared inexplicably, leaving only the generals of both sides chatting in the fire. The Wu Yusen-style double-gun confrontation signboard reappears, but this time it is replaced by a sword, so the picture becomes funny. After all, the attack range of the sword is smaller than that of the gun. However, none of them want to jump away. Cao Cao has already grabbed the hostage and naturally will not let go easily. If Zhou Yu does not jump to the side and escape the danger, I can't figure it out. It happened that Xiahou Jun took another Xiao Qiao as a hostage at this time, and in an instant, the situation became "nervous"! At this moment, with the help of "friends", Zhou Yu turned the situation around at once with the bravery of Lu Bu! Perhaps he was dazzled by the victory, or perhaps his wife, mother and son were safe, and he felt sympathy. After his personal interests were preserved, Zhou Yu disregarded the righteousness of his family and Jiangdong, and said to Cao Cao, "You can go. , go back wherever you came from!" I'm mad, do you know that others are just trying to rob your wife? What others want is to "sweep the heroes and clarify the universe"! What others want is to take your soil back to your hometown! What right do you have to let people go? If you want to let it go, Sun Quan will not! Sun Quan is willing, and Jiang Dong's elders are not willing! If killing 1 person can save 1,000 people, is that killing 1 person? Or let him kill 1000? You don't need to be so naive to preach peace, do you? It must be that Lao Wu was afraid of offending people and did not dare to kill Cao Cao. In fact, at this stage, killing Cao Cao is no big deal. Are you afraid that Wei will have no successor? Cao Pi, Cao Zhang and many others behind them! In this way, Cao Cao was able to escape from death for the third time in the hands of Lao Wu!
Zhou Yu glanced at the corpse on the ground and said, "Everyone lost", which meant that this battle really shouldn't have been fought, so many people died! Yes, if I had known that I had surrendered, at most Sun Quan would die with a green hat. Others, including him, Zhou Yu, would not die, and the common people would not die, nor would they get a plague, and Lao Wu had no film. Shooting, the audience is not tired, and foreigners will not misunderstand the Chinese nation, everyone is happy! Why bother? Why bother? Or, how good should it be made into a "Chibi Cup" Cuju Competition from the beginning? Do you want to change the mood of the movie with just a few lines? It's a pity that it looks pale and powerless because it's too fake! It is far from the artistic conception of Zhang Yimou's "Hero"!
At the end of the film, Mengmeng, who has Jingchu's "prestige", was given to Liangliang by Zhou Yu and his wife. What is the relationship between "Jingchu's name" and "Mengmeng"? , after only 10 days of fighting in Chibi (the film kept explaining that the typhoid epidemic took more than 20 days to stabilize, but obviously Cao Cao did not wait for the full 20 days) to be able to develop such a mature, tall and majestic, could it be that Nantianmen changed shifts The guards blow up? Now that the price of pork is rising, I advise everyone to stop selling pork and sell horse meat instead. This thing grows fast!
I finally finished watching "The War of Fire Caused by a Portrait", what do you think?
A director, a famous director, a world-class director, and a person who speaks through the media should also have the responsibility, obligation, and professional ethics to promote the excellent culture of the nation and reflect the national characteristics and good quality of the nation! Instead of giving up principled things purely for film effects! When something is filmed and broadcasted to Chinese people and foreigners, you should think about how it will make foreigners view Chinese people other than the box office. Is it logical and fake? Or is it really confusing to confuse tradition? From the game "Three Kingdoms" developed in Japan, we know that those oriental devils understand the Three Kingdoms better than the Chinese! Would it be more reasonable for them to say that the Diaoyu Islands belonged to them after seeing such Chibi, and then deny the Nanjing Massacre? There are many excellent film and television works (including 3J films) floating in Hallyu, why are they so popular in China? Because most of them reflect inspiration or a beautiful romantic and happy life! Because their director shouted to the world, this is the Korean, fashionable, filial, motivated, passionate Korean! This is the work ethic of their directors! May I ask Lao Wu, if you feel your conscience, what is your professional ethics? In addition to the better-looking picture and bigger pomp, what else is left? With nearly 100 million funds to make up and fool the Chinese? deceive foreigners! Chow Xingchi's films are no longer nonsensical, the main line is still clear and rigorous, everyone can still think deeply after laughing, how about you?
It is suggested that Old Wu change the title of the film: "Talking about Chibi", "Big Talk about Chibi", "New Biography of Chibi", "Chibi Biography", "Unofficial History of Chibi", "Fire War Caused by a Portrait", etc. All are fine. Anyway, don't call it "Chibi"! ! !
By the way, I will send the director John Woo a couplet:
The first couplet is: The Chinese nation The
second couplet is: John Woo
, a person who likes to watch movies, Le Erle
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