"Giant Baby Country" said: The mother is a lack of emotional outlet and is extremely dependent on the symbiotic relationship of children's emotions, while the father is an outsider in family life. Just like this "Baby Bao", the background is a Chinese-American family. When the mother ate buns once, the buns became human. His mother let him grow up very doting and never let him suffer any harm. As the child grew up, she refused to let her mother come to his room. Once, brought back a girlfriend. The sparkling diamond ring in his girlfriend's hand seemed to declare sovereignty to his old mother. The mother couldn't let his baby go, and finally, ate it. At this time, her husband, brought her children - it was all a dream.
The way this mother treats her child is a Chinese-style parent-child relationship: love and hate coexist, and the two generations continue to tear and struggle until they both lose. It clearly said that it was a Chinese-style parent-child relationship, but the film won an Oscar. What is the reason for this?
This is a kind of "nanny-style education" - "If you hold it in your mouth, you will be afraid of melting, but if you hold it in your hand, you will be afraid of falling." At the beginning of this year, Dr. Wang from Peking University in the United States blocked his parents for 12 years and never went home for the New Year. And write a 10,000-character complaint. Why is this? Because "do everything, his parents' love makes him feel suffocated". This is the final cut to the "bond of love". This Chinese-style parent-child relationship is actually not domestic. American parents, like Chinese parents, are struggling with their children's education, spending a lot of money to buy expensive school district housing, but the quality is not high.
From a historical point of view, there has long been a saying in China of "twenty-four filial piety" and "parents who receive from the body and skin". In a Chinese-style family, you always owe your parents.
From a human point of view, why? This is Chinese-style "emotional blackmail". Parents are always "violators": "If you don't do it, try it!" Parents are always "masochists": "If you don't do what I want, I'll die for you!" If you do, you will feel a sense of guilt. And this kind of blackmail is endless. No matter how much you pay, there is no way to plug their gaps. In a Chinese-style family, you owe your parents forever. As for the things they have done that are sorry for you, just selectively forget them. "Dog Thirteen": "Dad beat you because he loves you." This is actually an unreasonable rationalization.
Another point is that this is a manifestation of human loneliness. The mother in the film is afraid of loneliness, she gave up her career, has no job, and devotes herself to her children. So when the child wants to leave, she has a feeling of loneliness in her heart. This also confirms a philosophical proposition - people are fundamentally incapable of communication.
Accepting loneliness is the beginning of a person's journey towards independence. Feeling lonely is not a criterion for evaluating the quality of a relationship, but the beginning of a person's self-consciousness. People who have never been lonely do not have the ability to love themselves. Loving yourself presupposes that you can accept who you are, which means that you have to allow your authentic self to exist in a relationship first. In fact, to avoid facing loneliness is to avoid the possibility of feeling safe in a relationship. I just watched "Green Book" last week. Although the protagonist Don Shelley is very rich, he is extremely lonely inside. The greatest loneliness comes from all people who think he is not alone. In fact, the world is full of lonely people who are afraid to take the first step. Only by stepping out of the comfort zone and challenging the most uncomfortable area can he make his weakest part stronger.
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