It's mundane indeed, but that's how people generally behave.
But I know that there is only one person in the world, and I hope that I don't "be someone" at all, this is Yanbo; and I also hope that she should be an ordinary person, and she does not need to share her with the world, The two of us stayed together to live a complete ordinary life (in fact, this is already an extravagant hope for us). So I deliberately hid a lot of qualities from her that I didn't think she would like, but I couldn't help her discover. When she said, "My wife, you are not an ordinary person, I may not be able to ask you anything according to the standard of ordinary people~ You can rest assured and do what you should do. I will try my best to do my own thing." , I felt a little uneasy in my heart.
It's still a little off, the two of us.
I don't have a similar radar, and I don't know how to get along for a long time. I think we need to learn and face many things together, so I found "The L Word" as a life version of discovery to observe.
When I watched the first season and the beginning of the second season, I saw that Bette always ignored Tina's feelings, and that the people who loved each other couldn't be together was always very uncomfortable. I began to understand a little bit that housewives should see that they like it no matter what. The urgency of the couple I like in the TV series can be together. On the surface, it seems that because Bette's career is successful, mature and independent, she has always been strong in the relationship between the two, but at the same time she has to take on the heavy responsibility of the family by herself, and finally she is overwhelmed and derailed; and Tina is only attached to Bette and has no life of her own. , and eventually lost his place among the two.
But in my opinion, the fundamental reason is that Tina loves Bette more. Even though Bette loves Tina deeply, she is not as dedicated, caring and gentle as Tina. However, in reality, the correlation coefficient between the two reasons is actually very large - successful people always have to face the larger world alone, get in touch with more people, have a deeper understanding of things, and are more likely to Resonating emotionally and mentally with others at every level, there are more distractions and more temptations. So we see that in order to save the relationship between the two of them, the screenwriter can only solve two problems at the same time - let Tina be fully independent in career, finance, personality and love~
Back to me and Yanbo, I think, the education of this story Meaning - opportunity cost.
Opportunity cost is an implicit cost, something you could have had but voluntarily gave up in order to get to your present choice. For example, here, Tina has extraordinary charm. In addition to her career and beauty, she also has the kindness, gentleness, and self-control in the face of temptation that Bette does not have. When she decided to quit her job and have children at home, she gave up all of this. The value that should be reflected in the society (or the fair value of the market in economics), and the decision of the value is handed over to the person she loves, and further becomes Bette's vassal; and if Bette does not recognize or temporarily ignores it Abandoning the huge sacrifice Tina made for her, it is easy to put one's own thoughts and emotions above the other party's, which is manifested as trying to fully control the other party's actions and thoughts, despising or ignoring the other party's thoughts and feelings, and not agreeing with one's own mind. will be out of anger.
This state is what I have always had signs of but deep fear in my heart. I don't want to make Yanbo sad anyway, I feel like King Kong carefully holding the little person I love, I don't know how to caress her, myself They are all afraid of their own power and something that may explode at any time.
Therefore, we must really learn, in order to avoid the same mistakes for both of us. First of all, there are many beautiful qualities in Yan Bo. These qualities are what I cherish the most, and are also the most valued by anyone who truly desires love, such as kindness, sincerity, detachment, diligence, gentleness and consideration, understanding, steadiness and practicality, value Judgment is also more mature than mine, coupled with the ability to love one person without distraction; if we part, it will be a blessing for her and the other person and a monstrous mistake for me to regret in my life; in the end, the true nature of love should be It is a humble, sincere, uneasy handing over myself to the other party. We are equal in personality. In terms of character and morality, she is superior to me. I have no reason not to listen to her thoughts, understand her feelings, and put more Give her more control, tell her more about me, and let her decide what to do.
I've probably learned more from her over the past six months or so, and maybe I shouldn't define myself as a protector and a forerunner. Yanbo can and should be a pillar in our relationship.
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