2018-11-14 First look
The acting surprised me, but unlike many comments, I prefer the plot. It is indeed a bit dull, but the kind of story of struggling repeatedly in pain but finally redeeming itself, there is no depression, no routine chicken soup or sensationalism. Although I have no tragic childhood experiences and a harmonious family, as a depression sufferer with frequent relapses, it really resonates. There is also a very favorite, which is the love conversation between Patrick and his friends at the end of the third episode.
Extreme excitement at the thought of someone who can mend a broken heart, and extreme disappointment when they realize they can't
Another danger is that you may find little left in love
Think about what you could replace all that pain, resentment, sarcasm, snobbery and self-loathing with
This passage basically summed up my view of love at that time, trying to rely on others to save myself, but soberly aware that only myself can save myself.
2020-04-22 Second look
The epidemic caused depression to recur again, and I re-watched the next three episodes to find this passage
It was more of a whisper.
I look at the window and wonder whether this floor is high enough.
When I read it in 2018, I was not particularly impressed by this sentence, but this description has frequently appeared in my psychological counseling process since then. It is an extremely appropriate description of my suicidal thoughts.
There is also this passage, the long-term dissociation (like Patrik takes himself into the gecko to escape reality in the play) makes me always look at reality from the perspective of a bystander, as if there is a layer of film, there is no way to have it. Clear feelings and emotions.
I haven't read the original novel, so I don't know whether the author of these words is a screenwriter or a novelist, but I admire people who can describe their psychological state so accurately. This is the ability I have always lacked.
I still don't dare to re-watch the first two episodes carefully. I will really fall into a sense of despair that "I have struggled for many years just to escape you and it is in vain". But unlike others, I could feel hope when watching the last three episodes. In order to live but not survive, I have to change. Finally, one day I will be able to say everything out loud, and bored of ghosts, want to see people instead.
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