First of all, let me explain that I haven't watched this drama seriously since I watched it in 2018 (probably because Benny's acting was so good that I didn't want to watch it again), so the specific plot analysis Not much to say.
Try to briefly talk about what it feels like to watch this show as a person who has 50% similar experience with the hero in the play.
First of all, this play is superficially talking about the tragedy of a family, the tragedy of a boy growing up in great pain, but in essence it is about the oppression that patriarchal society brings to everyone. This topic is at the end.
The father of the male protagonist in the play is very similar to my father. His background and growth environment made him feel inferior and conceited. After surviving all the way, his narcissism reached an irreversible level, because in the face of many unfavorable factors for survival, the nobles were not there, and the gods were not yet manifested. If you want to survive, you can only believe myself, love myself. Then the poison of narcissism begins to spread all over the body.
The external manifestation of deep poisoning is: shirk responsibility and transfer pain.
But before starting a family, this kind of person has no way or difficulty to throw out the negative things that are not good for him, because he can't tame the person with whom he has not reached the so-called intimate relationship.
His narcissism, that obsessive "I'm going to survive and look down on you" feeling will lead him to have his own evil plan: to find the containers for the negative things that are not conducive to narcissism.
With the support of strong narcissism, he survived, and he has some foundations to gain a foothold in the society, and then some additional conditions are added (good looks, more money and more power), and find someone who will be with him. of women start a family, just like water freezes in winter, naturally and smoothly.
For the woman who is full of expectations, even if this is not the beginning of a fairy tale, it is a prelude to a better life.
For him, he found the container.
With a container that can take over all his negative emotions and behaviors, his narcissism is nourished. Year after year, narcissism makes him break through the bottom line again and again, and the woman who started a family with him and has a big belly, Also because of her initial expectations and admiration for him, as well as various discrimination and pressure against women from the patriarchal society, she lowered the bottom line she had set down again and again.
The two people who should abide by the bottom line the most have lost their bottom line. When the bottom line continues to create new lows, new containers are slowly being nurtured.
A beast will eat its own cub when it is extremely hungry, and a person who has lost his bottom line will inflict all the pain on his child in various ways in order to ensure that his narcissism is not destroyed.
Wait, didn't the two people just mentioned lose their bottom line? Yep, you got the point.
Because women have always been discriminated against and oppressed, she will project her own pain in different forms, to be precise, to her children.
Generally speaking, men use physical violence, verbal violence or sexual violence to transfer pain, while women use more hidden methods, such as silence, deliberate avoidance, and unrestrained talk (confessing their pain to children), etc. Wait.
A careful person may find that the situation of this woman is no different from that of her partner, and yes, both of them are beginning to need extreme narcissism in order to survive in this world.
Such a state will give rise to a more insidious way of projecting and transferring pain: a woman deceives herself to make herself conform or satisfy her partner and meet the demands and expectations of society as a whole.
The form of expression is that her subconscious tells her that she is a "Virgin": "Although my husband is constantly hurting me in various ways, I have carried on it; although I am so painful and so embarrassed, I still give. My children are a "decent and complete" family, and they are growing up healthily and prosperously under my care; I even have a decent social status while taking care of them, and my relatives, friends and colleagues all respect me and Appreciate it. Therefore, I am Our Lady, and everyone who wants to point fingers at me has nowhere to go."
When narcissism triggers such a subconscious or psychological suggestion, she can never go back like her husband. Because "narcissism" not only frees oneself from the hellish reality, but also brings endless pleasure, and the pleasure is so strong and so high-frequency (pleasure comes from "narcissism", "narcissism" and Caused by the oppression of reality, if reality and oppression remain unchanged, then these two things will continue to replicate like viruses), so strong that no one can refuse.
Speaking of this, many people may say, what about the child?
Look at those trash cans that are supposed to be works of art, those sewage pools that are supposed to be a clear spring, those...
The children, as their containers, took on all the filth, the meanness, and the misery, and became one Melrose after another.
Going back to the "patriarchal society brings oppression to everyone", why does this social model make men and women lose their original appearance?
Because in this kind of society, the person who controls the scarcest resources has the greatest say, and if you refuse, he or they will punish you destructively, and in various ways.
In the face of a huge wave of punishment, it is difficult for you to be alone. (If you want to survive, you can't refuse, you have to endure and obey)
You have a hard time getting help and respect. (If you refuse, those who are also afraid of punishment will stay away from you)
It's easy to nourish yourself through extreme "narcissism." (The narcissism virus kicks in when relying solely on one's own strength)
You can easily lose the bottom line. (Extreme narcissism has made you, it will not allow you to have a bottom line)
It's hard not to project pain on the weak who are powerless to resist. (The pleasure of narcissism makes you not care who takes your pain)
And those who are weak carry your genes, the thoughts you impose on them and their own vulnerability and pain, slowly become the next you.
This begins the endless, nightmarish copying.
And it's all because the most powerful people don't like to hear you say, "I don't want to live like this."
It's just that they don't like it, and you'll be better off dead.
I just said that the right to speak is very important, but why is such an important power monopolized and abused by them?
Because of the lack of supervision, we can now see that in society, vulnerable groups in the family are severely abused, but the abusers are not punished accordingly.
Why is there a lack of regulation?
Because the supervisor has long been replaced by the person who has the right to speak, just imagine, will you win a running race with a person with a starting gun and a whistle in his mouth?
Why are we (whether you are a man or a woman) who are supposed to oversee power, but they have taken it away?
Because we gave up the power of supervision and the opportunity to speak out, we didn't fight them, and they naturally wouldn't wake us up.
So if you hope that the tragedy of your own will not happen to other children, if you hope that you will not be Melrose's parent again, if you hope that all the good things that belong to the children are not replaced by evil...
So please wake up, please make your voice, please pay attention to those who have the same experience as you.
Please stop turning a blind eye, please don't cover their mouths when they cry.
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