"That boy was exactly like when I was a kid, but it wasn't just because of that, it was a really good movie."
We lay side by side in bed, staring out the window at the bright April sun as the wind blew the shattered canopy along the edge of the window. In the next few days, I kept ruminating on that afternoon, which made it impossible for me to ignore the first half of his sentence and take a correct attitude to consider the second half of what he said.
In the film, the little boy in the red jacket stares at the evacuated room for a moment, still circling the apartment. It's a familiar emotional state. Thinking of what he said, "You don't drink coffee? You don't want to imitate me", and suddenly burst out laughing. In essence, my growth experience with him is very different, and there is no comparison at all, but at a certain moment, I feel that he and I, and the little boy in red, we understand each other.
A few years ago he told me about his family of origin, the unknown biological mother, the last bowl of egg noodles made by the stepmother's mother, the house where the curtains were drawn to hide from the debt, the fish with its belly turned over cooked by the thermostat in the fish tank , the neighbor's elder brother's acoustic guitar, the young stepmother's stockings, and him wearing a shriveled neck and a dirty collar. When he said these words, he was sitting across from me. I looked into his eyes through the fog of the hot pot. With a little shyness that was imperceptible, he commented with a smile that my dress was too formal that day, and said that when I went out, I should also Get dressed up.
I'm constantly looking for the commonalities between the three of us. I remembered one night when I was six or seven years old, I insisted on sitting in the living room of my relatives and waited for my parents to come, and reluctantly agreed to take a rest until late at night. Before entering the bedroom, I kept repeating that they would call me up when they came. When I woke up again, I didn’t know what time it was. The lights in the room were completely dark. I was lying on the bed watching the street lights through the window and the quadrangle on the ceiling. Every time I heard the sound of cars passing by, I ran to the window. It wasn't until I found out again that it wasn't my parents' car, I smashed my head against the glass, and my aunt was woken up by the sound and came over and told me they wouldn't be coming tonight. I nodded at her, turned my head and stared at the New Year's lanterns that hadn't yet been removed from the street. These stubborn and self-deceiving trusts born of vulnerability connect the emotions of the three people, forming resonance in memories deep in childhood.
At the end of the film, the little boy rides his bicycle around the street corner, the wind blows his red t-shirt, and he has just ended a false trust and began to accept his father's departure. An empty street is left for the film's final shot.
Now that I see him again, he is as sensitive and stubborn as before. When I feel someone's sudden favor, I will show resistance on my face first, and then I will carefully maintain my feelings and look forward to comfort. I suddenly remembered the first time we met, he sat in a taxi and asked me "What if we blocked each other now?"
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