We love our mother without knowing it,
Only at the moment of ultimate separation,
Only then did I realize how deep the roots of this love were.
- Guy de Maupassant
The film revolves around Bell's subjective love-hate. Therefore, the quarrel between him and his mother all stemmed from the struggle of a gay son. It can be said that this is a film in which homosexuals love and hate themselves, but it is convenient to display with the help of the role of the natural enemy of homosexuality, the mother. It discusses not only the ethics of mother and child, but also the growth of adolescents, but more about the resistance and acceptance of one's own inner anxiety.
Mother is a mirror, a society, a powerful and authoritarian being. All Dolan's hysterical cries were about himself, not about his mother. Otherwise, the film may seek ethical solutions, rather than immersing itself in the ramifications of unceasing reason and chaos. It is true that the film shows the most acute mother-child relationship, but it is by no means the ethical relationship between a heterosexual boy and his mother.
Movies are black-and-white images intertwined with colorful, normal narrative passages. A black-and-white image and monologue of a man, a self-portrait of his son, discussing why he wanted to kill his mother. And the normal narrative gives all the factual evidence. That hysterical argument after another revealed the confrontation between the son and the mother in the mundane life: eating, driving, listening to the radio, shopping, and so on. These daily lives show the most intense love-hate of a gay and a mother. Propelled by inner anxiety, the son searches for heaven. He first needs to kill his beloved mother before he can achieve true peace.
Hubert gave all the proof that he and his mother were not suitable to be mother and son. He said his mother didn't really want him. Mom gave birth to him just routine. This is what everyone expects a woman to do. Then he said that he thought about killing himself, regenerating himself, and then going back and re-acquainting his mother, maybe he could get along. In fact, what he strongly desires is to cut off the ties of blood and re-establish a new ethical relationship. This is the innermost anxiety of homosexuality.
The film expresses this inner anxiety of wanting to kill the mother, or to recreate a new ethical relationship. Hubert did everything possible to realize this relationship in reality. Of course he is only a 16-year-old child, and the only way he can think of is to rent a house outside, or passively make his mother angry, or kill his mother or kill himself in his imagination. The mother, however, does not have the anxiety of killing her son to rebuild ethics. She came to know her rebellious son from a social point of view, thinking that sending him to a boarding school would solve all problems. But boarding school was not the solution to Hubert's inner anxiety.
For Huber, he pinned his love for his mother on his childhood without sexual awakening. Hubert seems to be suffering from sexual awakening. His boyfriend apparently has no such anxiety. His boyfriend is still attached to his mother, and the voice-over plays with her, like mother-son sex. A sign of a boy's sexual awakening is wishing for his mother to die. Because he has a sense of shame, and a gay boy has a more intense anxiety about his mother's attachment.
Mom says: Being gay is a big deal
From the movie, we find that Hubert never had any difficulties as a gay. He deservedly knew how to be gay without ever having to learn. The kind that is cooked. He and his boyfriend Anthony are middle school sweethearts without any of the gay confusion, struggles, awakenings, rights, etc. that kids in teenage gay movies have. Not even shy about Anthony's mom. They just lay on Anthony's bed with peace of mind, close to each other, as if homosexuality was the most natural thing in the world, and the one thing that was most in line with their world ethics. Such a natural homosexuality, we don't know, Hubert never told his mother. When Hubert's mother heard about it from Anthony's mother, the former seemed to be struck by lightning, dumbfounded.
Why isn't Hubert himself out of the closet? As a sexually awakened gay boy, he is not as rational and harmonious as the relationship between his boyfriend and Anthony and his mother. On the head of Yu Bell's bedroom is a photo of river phoenix, with a rebellious and unhappy appearance. It is the gay image of the fatherless, maverick and epilepsy in "The Uninhibited Sky". Like river phoenix, Hubert has a fragile heart. They are not suitable for having parents, not for taking on big things like coming out, just being a rebellious gay. They're still in a state of chaos, ethics is something they don't understand by nature, and they're not good at. Huber said, "I am not born to have a mother!" His teacher told him, "Maybe your mother is not born to have children!" But they have been searching for their own mother all their lives, and they are born to be themselves Mom's woman has goodwill and attractiveness. That is the most natural and most intense love-hate in the world. Thus, everything that is natural becomes unnatural between such mothers and children.
my mother,
I confess to you the reefs of a false world
Broke away my fragile boat
I would like to exchange all the happiness for the tenderness of my mother
- Musset
Huber went from fantasizing about his mother's death to writing the homework "I Killed My Mom" and handing it over to the teacher, and finally made the fantasy half of the action. Here's a gay boy's answer to his sexual anxiety. He used words, in the world of literature, to kill his mother.
Every child has their own sexual anxiety. Some inject sexual anxiety into friendships, some inject sexual anxiety into friends and foes, some inject sexual anxiety into blood-related mothers or fathers, brothers or sisters, and so on. Huber's relationship is a mother-son relationship. This is what Hubert further realized in boarding school. He encountered two important things in the boarding school: first, he met Eric, a handsome boy who was taking drugs and clubbing. Language, vented to Hubert.
We can imagine that Hubel's mother directly isolated Bell's love and hate in a boarding school, letting Hubel's burning gay light either vent here or be doused here. In any case, Hubel's mother could suffer less from the roasting. This should be what Hubert expected. This is the school, and all the schools in the world, for all gay kids, are more or less the same.
Huber: "If I were to die today."
Mom said: If you die today, I will die tomorrow.
You could call it emotional hysteria in French culture, but a close-up of the Virgin Mary leaving two bloody tears reveals the Catholic undertones. Only Catholic homosexuality can have such intense and painful hysteria. Every son has a deep and natural fear that the Virgin Mary will put her son Jesus on the cross. Because a mother's love and a son's love are fundamentally different.
The reunion of mother and son lies in Bell's childhood sanctuary, the childhood paradise where Bell and his mother loved harmoniously. It was as peaceful as returning to the Garden of Eden. Here, Huber no longer only uses this drug to express his love for his mother, he can face his mother calmly. Everything can be done all over again.
Hubert finally understood the source of the conflict between himself and his mother: there is a scene in the movie where Hubert chases after his mother wearing a wedding dress. This is a scene of Oedipus complex. Every male subconsciously has the tendency to kill his father and marry his mother. The mother is running away, the son is chasing. As a homosexual sexual awakening, it is only officially relieved at this time.
"You are so selfish, you only think about yourself. You are just letting me vent your desires. However, I love you." This is what her boyfriend Anthony said to Bell. Believing that Hubert's selfishness is unconscious, it's hard for people to clear up and realize where their sexual anxieties lie.
Dolan was indeed a narcissistic genius who made Hubert a boy everyone liked. Everyone loves him. He needs to learn how to express love, not just lust. It's really hard, especially when you're overwhelmed by someone else's love. He turned out to be a hyper-narcissistic gay who finally learned how to express love.
Mom is indeed a "reef of a hypocritical world", she may be Ming Jiao, a representative of a domineering world. And how should the homosexuality represented by Hubert open his "fragile boat" to the world and exchange "all happiness" for the "tenderness" of the world? The reference to mother and child, if any, is also clear. Hubert still needs to kill others in some form, kill himself, in order to achieve reconciliation with the world, with the hostility of the world, and with his own sexual anxiety.
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