I have always had a lot to say about my story with my mother, and I also thought that one day, like playing those smooth piano songs, I would talk about those trivial disputes, but the difference is that less than 20 Year-old Dolan brought to Cannes some of the love-hate that everyone has with her mom, and I had forgotten what I wanted to say.
When you read other people's stories, you must find it funny.
He must love his mother, beyond the existence of lovers, otherwise he would not break free from the arms of the handsome guy when he was high on drugs and run home to tell his mother that he loved her almost madly.
Mom must love him too, or she wouldn't leave her son with "what if I die tonight" and then turn away and murmur "then I'll die too."
So we don't understand why they Fighting hysterically over a little thing to the end of the day. Mom's wrinkles, tawdry coat, crumbs in the mouth when eating bread, when did it become so unbearable, in my opinion, he was more chatter than his mother, and his mother needed to hum a little song to stop it own ears.
And why did she just burst into the store and yell after waiting 15 minutes for her son outside the disc store, and why did she send him to boarding school regardless of his anger.
And why every time she can hum a song and even smile.
If I could hug my mom and say I love you, would our relationship be turned upside down in one day?
If she can calm down and I can show weakness and say Mom, don't be mad, will all the problems be solved?
But I can't tell, so I know she can't, I'm her daughter, just like she can't.
I am really sad, I feel that my mother must hate me, must hate me, the specific reason I can only speculate on my own. Maybe she likes boys, maybe she feels that she has paid too much for me, and I only reciprocated her too much disappointment, anyway, my existence must make her uncomfortable, otherwise why would my mother always be for a little thing every time? I scolded me from beginning to end, and the more I talked, the more excited I became. I kept turning out the old things from hundreds of years ago and exaggerating them. In the end, not only did I not have the same moral, intellectual, physical, beautiful, handsome, physique, and wisdom, I even looked like a morally depraved person. Like the inverse, it's useless.
My mom has grown critical of me to the length and breadth of a speech.
I can't remember the little things that caused disputes, maybe it's just getting up late in the morning, not tidying up the house, not doing well in exams, not loving learning English...what else? I really can't remember why I don't know how to get along with my mom, why I really felt like hell when I was alone with her in those years.
Just last year we had a big fight, and I was so wronged that I cried out of breath like I did when I was a child, but it was only after this time that I realized that I was wrong, how completely wrong. Because I can see that my mother doesn't have the strength to scold me for a long time, and she won't be tired anymore. She also doesn't have the strength to climb in through the window and beat me, throwing my tapes all over the floor.
I have changed, with the imprint that she has etched on me.
I went from just crying and enduring it, to starting to talk back, talking more and more at a time, and I would start to become impatient, and my voice would involuntarily raise an octave.
I thought life wouldn't come to an abrupt end like a movie, just pale day after day.
I can't be provocative, I don't want to be hypocritical, and I don't have the courage to find evidence that we love each other. I don't know how many times I have said what Hubert said in my heart, and this kind of emotion keeps tormenting me.
Mom, I still don't understand a lot of your actions and practices, but I have also done a lot of things, whether you feel it or not, I'm doing my best, I just want to make you happy, I'm still scared when I'm with you , I don't know when you will suddenly go into a rage, you still make me feel uncomfortable, but I still try to make you happy, I want to give you the best things in the world, I often complain to others about you, I also envy the harmonious relationship between others and their parents.
But I don't allow people to say that you are not good, if someone hurts you, I will want to kill him.
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