i just heard the most accurate description of the mind altering nature of suicidal depression. Inspired by David Foster Wallace, it was delivered by Jason Segal in The End of the Tour. Must be shared...
“I was just thinking…
It wasn't a chemical imbalance and it wasn't drugs and alcohol.
It was much more that I had lived an incredibly American life.
This idea that if I could just achieve x and y and z that everything would be ok.
There's a thing in the book about how when somebody leaps from a burning skyscraper,
it's not that they're not afraid of falling anymore,
it's that the alternative is so awful.
And then so you're invited to consider what could be so awful that leaping to your death would seem like an escape from it.
And I don't know if you have any experience with this kind of thing, but it's worse than any kind of physical injury.
It may be in the old days what was known as a spiritual crisis.
Feeling as though every axiom in your life turned out to be false and there was actually nothing and that you were nothing and that it's all a delusion.
And you're so much better than everybody because you can see that this is just a delusion and you're so much worse because you can't fucking function.
It's really horrible.
I don't think that we ever change.
I'm sure that I still have those same parts of me.
I guess I'm trying really hard to find a way not to let them drive, you know?"
You don't understand this kind of love, because you haven't experienced it, and I have experienced it, so I understand, that kind of tearful smile and heartbroken blessing;
1. That year, we met at Weishi
The landlord has experienced a love similar to that in the movie. We met in Shanghai that year. I graduated from Fudan with a master's degree. She returned from her studies in New York and met in Weishi;
2. Later, we broke up after the dream came true
I encouraged her, who failed many interviews, to pluck up the courage to pursue her financial dream; after a year and a half, her dream finally came true, and within a few days, before she went to Hangzhou, we broke up peacefully, she said. , I sincerely wish you happiness. Break up after a dream comes true;
A few days before we broke up, for her dream, I helped her contact her friends, asked someone to entrust the human resources director of China, and finally entered a foreign investment bank. I used all the money as a reward for her successful interview, and then before she joined the job A few days later, the two broke up peacefully.
3. After we broke up, we both left Shanghai, she went to Hangzhou, I went to Lanzhou
She went to Hangzhou, and I went to Lanzhou. Since then, I have never contacted her or listened to her news, but silently followed her Weibo;
4. Later, we all returned to Shanghai, but we never saw each other again.
A year later, we both returned to Shanghai, and it has been five years, but we have never seen each other again;
Only, a chance encounter, a phone call, is an accident;
That chance encounter was one day after we broke up, one day after get off work, at Shanghai Lujiazui subway station, the subway I was waiting for was coming, and suddenly I saw the ex in the same direction subway standing not far away, she also saw me, She seemed to smile, and I was stunned. It took me a few seconds to react, and I immediately turned around and jumped on the subway in the opposite direction;
That phone call was about four years after the breakup. Her father had cancer. She called me for help. I seldom asked for help. Helped to take care of him, but I still didn't go to see him, and there was no contact after that call.
5. There is a kind of love you don't understand, just because you haven't experienced it
Some people may wonder why the two have no contact after breaking up in the movie, and the male protagonist does not meet again after passing through the movie poster every day. I think there is no middle ground in some loves, either all or none of them; sometimes if you love someone deeply, you will hope that she can realize the deepest dream and the greatest happiness, since she has no role in her happiness. , and also worked tirelessly to push her to achieve her dream, even if it cost her the last happiness in her life. The male protagonist's tearful smile at the end may be the happiest sadness in his life.
The only difference from the movie is that maybe lz found out that he had been cheated on two years before the breakup, and later reconciled for nearly two years, but it was difficult to get over the knot; the one that was difficult to get out of was the pig lung almond soup; many days before the decision to break up, The two worked together to help her realize her dream of working in finance;
The more you know that you will be separated in the future, the more you will treat her better, and use all your energy and heart to be kind to her before separation. Why do I do this, I think, probably because I know that after breaking up, I will never have a chance to be nice to her again; because I know that after breaking up, it may be difficult for her to meet someone who can treat her wholeheartedly like herself;
In the end, the tearful smile when she was able to find happiness was not only distressing herself, but also being happy for her;
You don't understand this kind of love, maybe because you haven't loved someone like this, or you haven't been loved like this;
Because of understanding, so compassionate;
I thought I had loved, so I cheered;
There are thousands of kinds of love, how can there be any reasonableness?
---------------- The following is a diary written two months after the breakup, it has been almost 5 years, and I have never been in love again - -------- ---------------
I think, in the end, you still go and be a better version of yourself
Just met in the United States 2012-09-22 17:33:51
I remember when you left, you said, wish me happiness, and then asked me if I had anything to say; I didn't say anything, so you left; in fact, what I wanted to say was, can you stay? It's just that I don't know if I'll be happy after I stay; so I didn't say it.
Nearly two months have passed, and now I look back on the past two and a half years, it really seems like a dream, but it is still like a dream now. Looking at the beginning, in fact, you can almost guess the end, but I didn't expect the process to be like this, but, fortunately, most days are still happy.
For nearly two years, there were always two ideas fighting in my mind. It was better to leave or go on. . In fact, even today, two months later, I still struggle with no clear inclination. I want to be together because I really love you, maybe it's love, maybe not; I want to leave, but I can't pass the test in my heart. But fortunately, after my repeated nonsense, you helped me make a decision.
I always thought that after separation of two people who truly love each other, they can't be friends; now I think so too. I just want to keep an eye on how she's doing. Maybe more than ten years have passed, after time has diluted the emotions, when the years have buried the passion, you can still say lightly, hello, long time no see.
But recently, not really.
Just still want to pay attention and want to know some trends. Although I didn't talk about it, I think you know that I am also a person who sincerely hopes that you can be happy, but I just don't want to watch, it's not me who makes you happy.
According to your personality, you should let go of this relationship and start a new life.
I really feel that investment banking is a good field for you, even if it is only a private banking sector, but this is the door to another field, as long as you enter the door, other things are possible; Your life will slowly make you disappear from the crowd. Maybe your heart is really like what you said, and a flat life is what you want. . .
But what you have done has already made this ordinary life impossible. So I have been working hard to push you to the path of a strong woman, because I know that you have such potential and ability, but your inner ambition has been buried by many mundane events in the early stage.
Just going to a new city, a new field, a new position, it should be a big challenge for you who have been living and working dull and boring for two years, especially for you as a woman, you must be sure in your heart. Very insecure, right? This is a threshold. If you can pass and continuously improve your ability, the future will be bright; if you fall down here, you will only become a victim of unspoken rules.
The world is inherently dangerous and unfair, and there is mud everywhere, but whether you can stick to your heart, and whether you can get out of the mud without staining, is still a choice. Choice involves issues of values, morality and worldview. I wonder if your three views have been restored?
For so long, I actually miss you. There are so many things that have traces of you, including the love food blog I wrote together before. Would it be a pity if I forgot my password and can no longer log in? It's just that I don't have a password, you won't remember to log in even if you have it, right?
I miss you so much, but I have never contacted you again, and you have no birthday wishes, because I am not sure of my inner thoughts; since I have left, let's go away.
What I want to say to you, I will say it here silently. I hope you can love yourself, love yourself more, believe in love, and believe in the uniqueness of love. . .
After looking for all kinds of clues, I think, in the end, you still go and hope you can work hard and be your best self.
--------------------- This is before Valentine's Day, I have read the film reviews written by the film, maybe some encounters are destined to be missed------ ----------------
The blessing with a tearful smile at the end can only be understood by those who have truly loved and shared their dreams, pursued their dreams, and loved jazz.
If you lack any of the above five conditions, you will not be able to deeply understand this movie.
Would everything be different if we went back to the first moment
But the way they looked at each other at the end was so relieved and full of love
So I thought how could this possibly be the end,
Life is a journey of chasing dreams,
At some point in time,
a person meets a person,
They grew up together,
Encourage each other, there is beauty, there is pain, there is growth, there is regret,
this is life
The bursting drummer has seen it several times, and I love it; jazz, I have always liked it;
Given that there are too many idiots who will never love someone with all their heart, not even himself,
I believe that after this film was released in China, it was inevitable that many people would criticize it.
Some people may wonder why they haven't been in touch for five years
People who have truly loved each other will not dare to keep in touch with each other, nor will they contact each other.
dare not even hear from her
love is awe
I finally learned to respect myself
Honey
I love you to help you when you need it,
When I'm done, I'll walk away quietly
One day you and your lover appeared in front of me,
I was instantly stunned but pretended to turn a blind eye
Let yourself repeat all your happiness
Did you say goodbye at the end???
It's only been five years since the breakup, the heroine's children are all three or four years old, and the hero is still single. . .
Don't know, think about fear
Their relationship may still not stand the test.
Maybe still scared
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