"Travel's End" tells the story of Rolling Stone reporter David Bob following in-demand author David Foster Wallace on a national promotional tour for his new book, "Endless Joke," to get up close, Interview with his story.
Bob started the journey of following and interviewing with the excitement and joy of his worship of Wallace. After a few days of getting along well, they seem to have become friends from strangers, and they exchange topics such as celibacy, marriage, works, life, and writers' introspection. But Bob also gradually discovered that the dazzling great writer in his heart was a humble, polite, restrained person. He once thought that Wallace's hidden edge and humility were his attitude of being noble and looking down on all beings. The more self-effacing Wallace became, the more Bob felt that his writing talent was a joke, so he provocatively argued with Wallace several times. During the debate, he gradually saw a deep self-esteem, loneliness, and melancholy, and because of these, he was fraternity, tolerance, and warmth of Wallace.
Bob recalled: "I think back in his car, David and I were sitting in the front row, we were both so young, he wanted more than he already had, and he was exactly what I wanted. What we already have. We don't know where our lives are going. It smells like tobacco, soda and nicotine. David once said that the existence of books will make people forget loneliness. If I could, I would tell David Saying that those days with him weren't a relief from my life, they were a reminder of what life should be like, and I'd tell him it made me feel less alone."
The end of the trip not only symbolizes the end of this promotion, interview, and getting along, and the two return to their respective lives, it also alludes to Wallace's journey to end his own life. Wallace finally died because of depression, but as he said, this is the lesser of two evils.
This reminds me of this passage: "The whole life is a process of returning home. Everyone, every heart is looking for a way to return home...Why are we so afraid? Why can't we be humane and dignified? How to look at death with humor? Death is not the enemy, it is the end."
The dialogue between the two people in the movie resonates from time to time. The topics of the two people are edited and classified, hoping to appease the travelers who feel lonely and forget to hug themselves.
1. *About loneliness*
1⃣️Wallace believes that loneliness is an innate character. "I'm a very shy and arrogant combination, so shy that it's hard to feel comfortable around others."
2⃣️Wallace believes that loneliness is a kind of sadness about life. "It's about happiness, achievement, pastime, like a feeling of emptiness that doesn't know where to go."
3⃣️Wallace believes that there are not a few lonely people. "People who are willing and serious about reading a thousand pages tend to have a problem with loneliness."
2. *Why not get married*
Wallace yearns for the company and peace of mind that marriage brings, but is also afraid of the problems of getting along with marriage.
"It's great to share everything if there's someone you can live with. But it's hard for me to get along, both with the other person and with myself."
"When I want to be alone, like when I'm writing, I really need to be alone. That's the kind of introspection and self-awareness that a writer needs."
3. *About the low self-esteem and unease hidden deep in the heart*
Wallace's hidden inferiority complex and unease are manifested in his pleasing personality, subconscious denial, self-restraint, and lack of security.
1⃣️Pleasant personality:
"This article will push my image out, and I hope this image is in my own hands. I can't even tell if I like you as a person, just worry about whether you like me or not."
2⃣️Subconscious negation:
When faced with a question like "Do you think your success has anything to do with your good looks?", he said: "If I have any thoughts like that, you have to wake me up quickly."
"If anyone is destined to screw up suicide, I think it's me."
3⃣️ Self-restraint:
"I'm really worried that what I'm doing now is essentially selling it. I'm taking the opportunity to make money for myself to make a little name, and out of some weird delusion, I think this will make the book more popular."
"I'm not saying TV is bad or wasteful, if I put a TV in here, I'll watch it endlessly. It's like a fireplace to me, silently giving warmth and light in the corner, making me sink in from time to time ."
Faced with the question of "Why not go to New York?", he said: "Every time I go to New York, I get caught up in that kind of conceit and self-deprecation that go up and down with each other's circumstances."
4⃣️Insecurity:
"Wearing a headscarf is not a commercial option, I sweat too much to prevent drips from getting into the electric typewriter. And, whenever I'm nervous, I think of this safety blanket."
4. Does being modest and courteous to others and being pretentious come from a sense of superiority that is gifted and intelligent? *
"I don't think writers are smarter than others, maybe their stupid, confused qualities are more attractive. What makes me smarter is that I don't think I'm much smarter than others."
"If I think I'm smarter, talented, or richer in heart, more complex in spirit, more intuitive than others, then I'll feel lonely, and I'm not going to be a good writer. Because that means I'm writing The purpose of the book is to show off to a group of people with blurred faces, not to actually communicate with them. I cherish the ordinary side of me, and I also believe that it is my greatest asset as a writer."
5. What does it feel like to be a popular writer with best-selling works? *
For Wallace, there is pressure and weightlessness in addition to being happy.
"I really want to be noticed, especially when I face the eyes of beautiful women who are eager to communicate, I am instinctively happy, but I dare not accept it. Because I am worried that what they like is not themselves, but fame and so on, it will only make them more lonely."
"If you're used to writing those heavy, unsellable pure literature, you won't be excited, nor too frustrated or discouraged when you get a lot of bad reviews, because as a self-respecting human animal, you will Will justify it to adapt to reality. If a book is very popular and attracts attention, you can say that it must be written a lot; but ironically, if your work starts to sell and attract attention, you used it when it was ignored before. Mechanisms to protect yourself are no longer useful and become fallacies, so you're completely screwed."
6. Isn't it very reassuring to be noticed and praised by others? *
"My experience tells me that's not the case."
"The more people give you praise, the more fear you're going to be making. The worst thing about getting a lot of attention is that you're afraid of negative attention, and if you're vulnerable to negative attention, then you face The potential threat is greatly increased.”
"Of course, like many people, I also want to get a lot of attention and let others see what I am good at, but if it is to derive satisfaction from the discussion of the work, rather than the writing of the work, then there will be no more. achieved."
"So I chose to withdraw from the attention of the outside world, because those attentions are like heroin hitting the cerebral cortex, making people float and even create a constant craving. What I really need courage is to withstand this withdrawal, quiet Take it easy and try to remind yourself of what reality is, and for me reality is being alone in a room with a piece of paper."
7. *Faced with rumors of drug dependence*
"I've never been exposed to such a dangerous life, I've just been drinking. I'm stuck in an endless cycle of alcoholism and depression."
"It's not a micronutrient imbalance, it's not an addiction, it's just a 28-year-old who has lost the backbone of his life. Maybe it's because I'm too idealistic, always trying to achieve some self-imposed milestone, everything It's going to get better, but it's just going to let me down again and again, to the point of being hopeless, it's a mental crisis, and it's horrific. It's like in my book, when a person jumps from a burning skyscraper , not that he is no longer afraid of falling, but that the consequences of not jumping are more frightening to him."
"This kind of spiritual crisis makes death a relief. It makes you feel like every motto in your life is a mistake, everything is illusory, and you have nothing. Your intelligence allows you to see through it all, avoid You are so tired of dreaming, but this is also the bad part, you no longer have the desire and motivation to live.
I don't think people change. I'm sure that mental crisis is still buried deep in my body, and I'm just trying very hard not to get carried away by it. "
"I lost myself in writing, like food is to a guinea pig in a lab box, and writing is the only motivating force in the universe that I can draw from."
8. *How to face this kind of spiritual crisis*
Wallace said, "True beauty has a soothing effect."
He was looking for this beauty to soothe those in pain, including himself. Settling in a quiet town, teaching literature classes, caring for his dog, dancing at church, eating lots of sweets, writing, and giving myself to the Lord: "Lord, teach me to be generous and serve you as you deserve. In other words, you can give without thinking about gains and losses, work hard without seeking comfort, work without seeking return, and fulfill your will, but nothing else.”
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