Looking at the role change and adventure exploration my mother Elsa experienced in the play, I felt the same to some extent. Do we really need to be needed?
Although many people are complaining about mother's bitch, cheating, pretending to be a Virgin, etc., I don't have much opinion on this, and I don't want to discuss it.
What I want to discuss more is that, like Elsa, I am used to getting self-satisfaction and realizing self-worth from being needed. And, when we are no longer needed, can we really be happy for our mature counterpart, or are we suddenly at a loss?
In my opinion, Elsa is accustomed to the role of "the mother who takes care of sam firmly". That's why I feel jealous and angry about her son's dependence on Julia, a psychiatrist who seems to be incomparable to her. Even in order to keep the son in a "Seperate and safe" environment, they may not worry about bringing their husband and son closer. One person carries everything. Although this is indeed a great contribution, I have to say that Julia has also gained a lot of self-satisfaction from such a needed role. Being a Go-to person does make people feel a strong sense of intimacy. And such a mother role also has its own aura, which can get a special sense of respect in mutual aid associations and many, many parent circles.
When his son became independent and began to confide in Julia and his father, Elsa obviously felt that his status was threatened. Not feeling the feeling of being needed is a state of weightlessness for her. Suddenly I don’t know my value, and I am afraid that if I cannot prove my value by being needed, I will be forgotten in the corner. In fact, both father and others can see that Julia is so immersed in the role of mother as a giver that she has forgotten how to take a step back and be herself. She is not trying to leave this role, but due to the panic of the role change, she is a little bit off. The appearance of the bartender is largely a person who needs her and wants her (emotionally and erotically). When she was with Nick, she could feel a new kind of pleasure of being needed, but forgot that she had begun to lose the panic caused by not being needed at home.
But unfortunately, this is not a long-term solution, and Elsa knows it herself. At the Meatball memorial service, she did what she was most proficient in, comforting people who were in bad moods, Nick, she tried to comfort him with sex. But Nick declined the invitation and said, "It's good if you are by my side. This is the greatest support for me." At this time, Elsa suddenly left the bar, because she suddenly realized that Nick no longer simply needs to flirt with her, but has risen to emotional support. But she knew that she would never be able to give Nick so much, and those who really needed her in this way were at home.
Although Elsa terminated the relationship herself, she was also discovered by her daughter and husband. This is indeed the consequence of her playing off. This made me think about the desire to be needed and whether there is a better way out. I am also a very needy person, and I have recently experienced various changes in my friends around me. Although I have not played off, I just feel uncomfortable and flustered by such changes in my life, but maybe I really hope to find one. A good exit, not a deperate Elsa.
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