Cumulonimbus

Timmy 2022-12-18 21:30:30

Long talk, off topic, diary style


Yesterday's dream has faded, only the sound of rain is particularly clear. When I woke up this morning, I saw that the sky was gloomy outside the window, and the air seemed to be condensed with water vapor. Sitting on the bed, I felt a little dazed. Did I wake up at night and hear the rain without knowing it, or did the rain fall into a dream and just become a reality?

Do not understand, do not want to understand.

After the morning class, the working day of "passive persecution of the eyes" ended. So I sorted out the desktop that showed the chaotic nature under the neat appearance. Although it could not be called a "desktop cleaning master", it did throw away a lot of old books and empty books that lost their value. And every time I clean up old things, I always feel an indescribable tactile sensation on my hands. It is too boring to explain this feeling with "dirty hands".

People more or less always feel a sense of accomplishment after completing something, and what could be more light-hearted than "the extra space after tidying up"? With so much time left, wouldn't this afternoon be more meaningful by doing something you love?

But in fact, I just don't want to waste the "first time" of the new desktop on homework, which is tantamount to waste.

With this mentality, watching movies has become the first choice. A gloomy afternoon with the possibility of rain at any time, steaming tea on wooden coasters, and a literary film about the "Beat Generation", perfect combination.

It would be false to say that there are no flaws, and "the part of the literary revolution is frivolous" sounds reasonable. Maybe this is a common problem with this type of film, or maybe it's just that people don't want to think about the possibility of "seeing the big from the small". In any case, the ending of this movie made me a little bit uneasy.

The writers' muses fear to write, which means he can only do cumulonimbus clouds, raindrops fall, and people only remember rain and the sound of rain.

But what gathered the rain was the gray-blue clouds in the sky, just like his eyes in the play.

It was only now that I understood, on a certain level, what the king's words meant.

"Humans have no value in themselves, only what humans create are valuable."

I have always opposed this sentence before, thinking that since created things have value, and no one has no creation, then human beings must also have value. However, it now seems that if the concept of human beings is reduced from the macro to the individual, and the created thing is changed from the concrete to the abstract, without Lucien, Allen cannot create Howl , and his greatest achievement may be an orthodox college student, and people rarely Little is known about Lucien's existence, so to be precise, Howl doesn't belong to Allen alone, it belongs to Lucien and everyone who inspires him.

Of course, you can also say to me: "Even if there is no Lucien, the underlying genes in Allen will eventually guide him on this path." You can even press it step by step: "Individual people generate creative inspiration through fetters. The strength of the connection between people shows that people have value."

For the first sentence, you're actually making an assumption, but history doesn't exist, and in terms of results - to put it mildly - Allen would have a hard time writing Howl without Lucien and the series of things he brought .

As for the second sentence, you are actually emphasizing "connection" rather than "individual person", so a single person (without contact with others) really cannot create value, and therefore has no value. Here is another sentence of the king: "Our way of life will be engraved in the hearts of those who live. Even if we die and leave no children, our will will be passed on from person to person. The essence of human power will be passed down from generation to generation without the crystallization of knowledge and the chain of life passed down through blood." Then everything should be clear, for the abstraction of created things, the individual human being does not have value.

But after saying so much, in the final analysis, it is still the same sentence: "There is no right or wrong in philosophy." It's just a matter of thinking angle. It seems like a bunch of nonsense going around in this way, and it seems that you should be careful in arguing with yourself. schizophrenia.

And personally, even if I understand what the king said, I have no intention of accepting it, understanding ≠ accepting, I still think people are valuable.

Huh... I don't know how to end it, but it happened that my dad came to urge me to sleep. Although he "kicked" him away, this can also be a good excuse. Anyway, I don't really want to continue writing.

It's just that I still can't let go of that cloud in my heart.

But after all, I can't guess what the cloud is thinking. I am on the ground, it is in the sky, and all the sighs and sorrows will be dissipated in the sound of rain.

I hope that the sound of rain will fall into my dream tonight, and I want to look up at the clouds.


When it comes to the reason for the star rating, it is really tangled, and in the end, I still pick out the words, "recommended" and "recommended", and it is still a little bit worse from the latter.

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Extended Reading

Kill Your Darlings quotes

  • Allen Ginsberg: Another lover hits the universe. The circle is broken. But with death comes rebirth. And like all lovers and sad people, I am a poet.

  • Allen Ginsberg: Some things, once you've loved them, become yours forever./And if you try to let them go... /They only circle back and return to you./They become part of who you are...

    Lucien Carr: ...or they destroy you.