After watching the movie "Genius Girl", I posted the same paragraph on several different social apps:
"I know that the film hopes that parents should pay attention to the happiness of their children, grow up freely, don't force them to study, etc. However, after watching it, I was thinking about one thing. Recently I have been studying swimming very hard, and I have also learned it when I was young. I didn’t learn well. Once I thought, if my parents were strict with me when I was young, it would be better if my parents asked me to learn a little more when I was young. Maybe no matter if you are a genius or an ordinary person, growing up is a thing. What a pity. If you were asked too much when you were young, you want to be free and happy. If you were a child, if you were stocking, you also want to get attention and strict training.
In the movie, the protagonist Mary has an extraordinary talent for mathematics. Frank, who raised her uncle, only hoped that she would grow up like an ordinary child, so he rejected the full scholarship recommended by the principal for the prestigious children's genius school. After Mary’s grandmother found out, she went to court with her son to try to fight for custody. She firmly hoped that Mary’s mathematics talents could be used, and tried every means to train her, hoping that Mary would be like her mathematician mother who committed suicide. history.
In the very climax of the film, Lawyer Frank questioned that his grandmother was not qualified to raise children because she did not know how to respect and love children. When Mary's mother was a little girl, Mary's grandmother was overly strict with her daughter, not allowing her to fall in love early, not participating in other activities and so on. Grandma Mary said, I will try my best to help her to show her talent in mathematics, so I will never feel sad because I didn't buy her a bicycle.
This "war" between relatives is in a stalemate. Uncle wants Mary to live as long as she wants to be happy, and grandma wants her to be successful. The end of the movie gave a reasonable plan. Seven-year-old Mary learns calculus with adults half of the time and plays with her friends half the time.
The ending of the movie is always perfect, everyone will be happy.
And real life, more often, is more like the first half of a movie. Mary's mother was rigorously trained by her mother when she was a child, and later became a famous mathematician. But after giving birth to the child, he committed suicide. Mary's uncle, Frank, should be a child who doesn't care much at home. In his middle age, he lived a life of no fixed home, without a fixed job, and no rich income, and life was difficult.
The overall tone of the film is to discuss the issue of love and respect, and is also trying to educate some parents on how to treat their children.
But I want to ask another question: as children, how do we want to be treated?
As I said on the Weibo that I posted, I belonged to the stocking type when I was a child. My parents hardly interfere with any of my studies, hobbies, let alone strict requirements. So sometimes I think, if I was strictly controlled when I was young, would it not be better than it is now?
After that paragraph was posted on the Internet, I saw some discussions with friends. A part of me, like me, grew up recklessly when I was young, and learned everything, so I felt a little upset. The other part is just the opposite. Just like Mary's grandmother, she trains her skills, is not allowed to fall in love with each other, and is not allowed to play around. Such children really have some skills, or have been excellent in primary school. But they are also very unhappy inside, because they feel that they have lost a lot of freedom and love.
I was surprised to see that no matter which way I grew up, it didn't seem to be complete. You might say that these are two extremes, and you must either deal with them fiercely or don't care. There is always an intermediate part. As far as I know, almost no one can control a good balance point.
It's like talking about a dead knot, I can't untie it, and I can't let it go.
Still have to put aside what is the correct education, return to oneself to see the problem. Are we pursuing a happy life, or should we continue to train ourselves?
When thinking about this question again and again, I thought of one time when I was swimming. I saw a dad next to him teaching his son to swim. The little boy was nervously holding the swimming ring. Dad told him: You always have to choke a few salivas, but it’s okay. I’ve been standing by your side and you won’t be exhausted. Or drown. If you are still afraid, you can stay in the water. Then your other friends will play, don't be sad. Or wait for you to grow up, don't regret it. If you still want to learn, just practice according to my method, and find happiness by yourself while studying.
Suddenly thinking about the problem, in fact, pure freedom and happiness and the pursuit of blind diligence are both hurtful, and the combination of the two is the best.
We have been unable to go back to when we were young or tell our parents how to better educate us. When we were young, we did not know what kind of life we like to live. However, now after we grow up, we can control our own living conditions and growth methods.
I didn't learn something well when I was a child, but now I can learn it again. The happiness you didn't get when you were a child can be created again.
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