The young pope always asks, tell me about your calling. What makes you feel God, your heart trembles, your tears flow. The priests have different answers, whether it is family affection, disease, choice or desire. Maybe someone asks the Pope about his experience of divine revelation. The Pope has no choice. He believes in God because believing in man is a painful thing. The Pope has stood on the fringes of the world since childhood, so he is very close to God.
He had been abandoned from the beginning, and the Pope's earliest prayer was, "Jesus said before he died, My God, my God, why did you abandon me. And before I started my new life, I also asked, I God, my God, why did you abandon me. And God is infinitely silent, God is infinitely silent, God is infinitely silent." The Pope knows the inherent pain of life, and this kind of pain is difficult to bear. God is his instinctive need, so He became the Pope. kierkegaard would say that it is only in the process of infinite negation and near death that we approach God, in infinite and repeated despair, in the place closest to the sorrow of the essence of life, God is silent, he is missing, he is not comforting, This is human tragedy, this is God's revelation.
So the Pope is angry, he knows that the process of getting close to God is absolutely painful and suffocating, yet the world wants love. Easy worldly love is the greatest blasphemy against God. God requires trembling and fear. Pope said that people forget about God, not only God, but God's horror and power. Man cannot even face God, because man cannot stand on the absolute opposite of God. When facing God, man has no self. The Pope's God is his own, he is the closed door, the buttoned pot, only he is looking for God in his own mass of sorrow and fear, sickness unto death, infinite sinking, accompanied by facing God. The deeper his understanding, the deeper he fell, the closer he was to God. So the Pope wanted to warn the world at the beginning, don't forget God, don't forget fear, don't open yourself up, fall, feel the presence of God from the absence of existence in the darkness of silence. Everyone is alone in the face of God, without a spiritual father, without a spiritual guide, everyone is alone. God is in the heart, so when you pray, you need to talk to God repeatedly, only talk to God, God will answer, and the answer will be answered through man himself. In communicating with God, man himself is just a medium.
But the world has forgotten, the world has forgotten God, and the world wants to be led, moved, and saved. They hand over the task of intermediary to religion, and then linger at the Pope's door by themselves. This is cowardly belief, which is blasphemy against God, so the young Pope is angry. But later, he was not angry anymore. The Pope and his people are believing in a different God. The Pope finally realized that the world was never his partner, and that he was just a gust of wind to blow through the crowds of the world, just as he had to accept God's creation as a child of God. The world is like this, the world is like this, they are confused, they are ugly, they are fragile, they want love, they do not believe in themselves, and therefore do not believe in God. So the Pope talks about love, equality, and peace, and the Pope said, God smiles, God is good, God is everything man wants to believe and has the ability to find. So he embodied God, he affirmed God, and when he affirmed the reality of God, he created a God of the masses. From then on, he was alone in communicating with God, only he knew that God was silent, his God did not answer him, and God was infinitely silent. But he had to tell the world that God is love, God is loving, God will love, but his God is silent. But he believed, of course he had to believe, because self-denial was to deny self-belief in God, so he became more arrogant and determined, he believed in miracles and God, so he believed in himself more.
God made him human, and the Pope has no other way to approach God than to believe. This belief is of course through numerous self-denials, each with greater conviction, and they say to the Pope that his new rules are crumbling the Church, and the Pope says, let it crumble, and then we build more. solid wall. The Pope is kierkegaard's knight of faith, but he suffers more than Abraham because he must also be the intermediary of God in this world. Abraham never doubted God. He walked to Mount Moriah fearlessly. His task was to wait for a miracle. He never doubted that God would send miracles. The Pope has to perform miracles, the world expects him to perform miracles, and every miracle he performs is the deepening of his bottomless loneliness. Humans seek warmth and love from him, and push him to face the infinite silence of God alone.
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notes:
The deified Pope's sense of alienation from man, and his fear and trembling when he faced God alone.
There is also violence in the name of love. Humans always think that love can be easily achieved, just as they think that miracles will always happen sometime.
Of course he loved nuns, colleagues, and the world, but that was the love of saints, and he loved them as he loved the wind, trees, and the world. But he needs the kind of love that can bring him affirmation, the kind of love with human warmth, the kind of love that won't let him bear the sorrows of life alone, and he has never gotten it. He was missing from the beginning, he was abandoned by people, and then he chose God, he completed himself, and the ultimate responsibility was to love mortals in extraordinary ways, how cruel. He asked, which is more beautiful, lost love and found love. But he has never received love, can't choose love, can't lose or find love, love doesn't exist for him.
The worst cry was a miracle when I was fourteen. never doubt faith, never.
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